That_One_Guy

Stfu you know you're attractive

Yeah but that was 15 years ago

BRO that's whack

No I'm not listening to Whitney Houston >_>

He is by far my favorite musician. I love everything he's ever made, and I'm pretty sure he was an actual genius.

That's the spirit dude. Don't get down. You're a great writer.

The good thing is it's posted for everyone to see. So you can really make a case here!

Ayyyyyyyyy! Thank you for participating! Since you have a custom rank we'll have to figure out your prize. Also I'm sure you'll be more organized than me when you run it

Thank you. This is the second time you've had to bail me out!

Hey man it was a tight race <_<

Dude you should be proud!

https://unevenedge.com/topic/23722-uemb-writing-competition-results-and-discussion/ Fuck yeah

Idk why those white rectangles are there but fuck it

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN!!! Here it is! What like 6 of you have been waiting for! The results for the first ever UEMB writing competition. Let me start off by saying it was a very tight race (there was only a five point difference between first and last place) and all of the entries were very solid! I want to make this somewhat suspenseful. You'll have to scroll down to see the results 6th place- One of Those Simple Voyages by Blatch 22.5/40 Feedback from the judges: "Again, this is not something that I would choose to read. And when I saw that it was unwise for the hero to start his truck “unusually frigid 40 degree weather” and then realized that this was not set in a fairly near future where global warming had progressed quite a bit, it just kind of put me off. It sounds like a nit-picking thing, I know, but it bothered me. It was easy enough to ready, but it didn’t really hold my attention, and nothing happened. Something was going to happen – Why was time short? If I’d known, I might have felt a bit more sympathetic (or something) toward the main character." "The plot is kind of loose to this story, and there's not much conflict, or character/ story progression. however the setting was described in detail which was a plus. More conflict and better wording/ sentence structure would have earned it more points" 5th place- A Pack of Camels by Swimmodsponges 23.5/40 Feedback from the judges: "Excellent exposition and character build up, and the scenes were very descriptive, but political satire aside the comical ending leaves more to be desired. Classic..this guy though." "I think I know who wrote this, and if I’m right, I know where she’s coming from, but this, to me, was kind of sloppy. There were descriptions that I really liked, but every time I started enjoying it and getting a handle on her presentation of an intriguing world, something would pop up and jar the story, and not in a plot-advancing or thought-provoking way. The ending absolutely destroyed it; my initial reaction was WTF? – I had to check the cupboard to make sure that I hadn’t accidently eaten all the nutmeg before I read it. Not that I have anything against political commentary, but Jesus showing up to give the Donald a blow job did not provide any kind of resolution, and would have needed a bit more foreshadowing to actually have anything to do with the rest of her story." 4th place- Bob Seger Werewolf Hunter by Guybeardmane 25/40 Feedback from the judges: "I like this. I read mostly for pleasure, and this pleased me. I like bad puns and wordplay a lot, and the Silver Bullet band one was just awful. It had a beginning, middle, and an end, and I liked that, too – I appreciate something linear." "A lot of rock and roll allusions/puns and wordplay packed into a simple but effective screen play style action scene. Would be better if there was room for conflict/ character progression." 3rd place- Fate/Furious by Imchapp.in 26.5/40 Feedback from the judges: "I can tell a lot of thought was put into the plot of this story yet it seems almost intentionally irrational. Character dialogue could be a little bit more clear, and I feel the plot may need a bit more backstory or explanation." "I don’t know if this is a fan fic. If so, I apologize, because there may be things assumed here that I just don’t know. If it’s not a fan fic, it’s great – for a start. I was really drawn into it, but then, felt really let down when it just stopped as opposed to ended. There were so many interesting possibilities, but nothing actually happened; was there a plot yet? Finish the book, whoever you are! I want to read it." 2nd place- 315-342 by PokeNirvash 27/40 Feedback from the judges: "in all fairness, this is not the kind of thing that appeals to me even when it’s done well, and this was kind of hollow. + for a format that fit within the guidelines, and being easy to read and follow, - for it sounding something like an essay that was done for an English class. I didn’t care about any of these people enough to want to meet them." "The story lacks a lot of conflict and character progression and there isn't a solid ending. The story is written as if it is being vaguely remembered or as if a lot of the more exciting details were left out. It would make great dialogue for a narrated movie, but in written form the scenes could be more descriptive I feel." 1st place- Wildflowers by Kweerie 27.5/40 Feedback from the judges: "The characters in this story were brought to life well through the use of colloqualisim, and different dialects in the dialogue. The "cutesie" nature of the talking animal characters made the dark shift and story ending all the more..enjoyable. Good conflict and story progression, but I feel a little more build up to the final bitter ending would've earned it more points with me." " I’ve always liked this story, and this is nicely done. I like the traditional moral better, but this was a nice twist. The scorpion’s voice was a little bit too something – I had flashbacks to being about 5 and getting my cheeks pinched by my father’s patients when I went on house calls with him; a lot of the old ladies talked like that – but all in all, I liked it." And here are your subcatagory winners! Bad Sex Award (self explanatory)- A Pack of Camals by Swimmodsponges! Macbeth Award (most deaths)- Bob Seger Werewolf Hunter by Guybeardmane! Best Character- The scorpion in Wildflowers by Kweerie! Bulwer Lytton Award (Most overdramatic)- A Pack of Camals by Swimmodsponges! Italo Calvino Award (innovatve storytelling)- Fate/Furious by Imchapp.in Tao Lin Award (most harrowing realness)- One of Those Simple Voyages by Blatch! Now, if anybody would like to read any of these bad boys, the stories can all be found here: http://www.writerscafe.org/Uembwritingcomp/writing/ I want to give a huge thanks to my judges: Nabloom, Mthor, Bouvre, and PhilosipherStoned! They were amazing and I seriously couldn't have done this without their help. I also want to thank everyone who participated and encouraged me to do this. I feel like these sort of things are good for us. We need all the fun and positivity we can get around here! A huge congratulations to our winner Kweerie! You should get in touch with Pat concerning your custom rank. Also as the winner I think you should host the next competition if in fact you want to. If not that's cool too Anyway, thanks everybody. Feel free to read the entries, discuss, debate just do whatever the hell you want! Much love

Just so everyone is aware, the results are officially in. I'm having dinner at my mom's (which I only get to do once a week). But as soon as I get home I'm posting the results/discussion thread. Thank you all for your patience and participation

We are officially done! I'm having dinner with my mom. When I get home you will all finally see the results

Another update! We're nearly done

Update! Everything will be judged by tomorrow afternoon!

Like damn son!

REALLY good things you tramp.

It's going down! I'm gonna deflate your candy ass! I'm tired of you popping off! You inflatable chump!

That sounds dope! I'll definitely check it out

You're a balloon, BITCH and it's high time you got popped!

Aight bitch let's run this shit. We can handle this like men

I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU