discolé monade

travels around the country giving clases on 'how to be a shark mime: or 101 ways to kill it'

wakes up every morning at 0400, opens front door, and screams into the early morning air: TIME TO MAKE THE DONUTS!!! then slams his door.

will only go to car washes that offer hand jobs.

can't tune a piano, but can sure tuna fish.

and the highlight is blue

was on 'naked and afraid', he wasn't a contestant...just liked running around naked.

reads various threads and comments from [uemb] in the genre of theatrical shakespeare, and assuming vocals.

goes to hooters for the original hooters buffalo platter , only. really really.

has tried to drive a semi...but believes that 12 of the 18 gears are just a suggestion

microwaves skivvys for that toasty nut feeling.

his style is so amish meets 80's coke dealer....iono from what i gather this is all him. from sound cloud days. has a master in busines marketing? or degree...does it matter - he saw this as a cash cow actually reminds me a LOT of of a show called 'dave' a jewish marketing ad employee pitching ideas decides he's REALLY good at rapping...but i digress (great show btw) he collabs with someone named $bono?

makes homemade popsicles with listerine.

paul mccartney will always be his wings upon a prayer.

lol... drunk driver no shit hot damn let party WITH YUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAVVVVVVVVYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

thinks the beatles is spelled beetles.

has a pet cricket in a matchbox.

has a tatoo that says 'no regerts' - some candy company saw it...well you know the rest.

taught my cat to sit on the remote so i can't find it, at his cat school in canada.

still thinks 'leap year' means one hops everywhere. the entire year.

absolutely. fantastic idea. you should ONLY play yung gravy mixes though.

thinks d batteries are only for.... massagers

pulls leaves of cabbage like a daisy, repeating 'she loves me. she loves me not'

has perfected the secret to seeming interested in any given conversation: he just hums 'i'm so pretty' in the key of a#.

dresses up in t-rex blow up costume, and chase children in the park with a fake hatchett

is right, is right, he's bloody well right, because he knows he's got a right to be.