J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Find somewhere else to live and Leave them behind Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katya_Hiki Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 is this victim blaming or kink shaming? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CutieQuesadilla Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Sometimes it feels safer than the unknown. I rather endure pain i am used to than experience a new one. What made me leave my abusive relationship was my face. I already feel abnormal, but my face was so busted up i felt like a creature. A monster people would stare at. That’s also the first time i fought him like i was a grown ass man. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 Just now, Katya_Hiki said: is this victim blaming or kink shaming? Neither. That shit don't fly with me... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 (edited) 6 minutes ago, CutieQuesadilla said: Sometimes it feels safer than the unknown. I rather endure pain i am used to than experience a new one. 1 I wouldn't. I'd rather brave the unknown, but that's because I'm brave enough to leave people behind. If someone's not treating me right they're eventually going to have to deal with being by themselves. That's not really my problem if someone needs other people. Codependence is not a habit I wish to get into. I actually like the idea of abandoning my other family. I couldn't give a SHIT About them. Edited May 19, 2018 by J.M. Matthews Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katya_Hiki Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 its just not always that easy to leave, so its not always an option. someone can be financially controlled, isolated from those that can help them, or too afraid of the what might happen if they leave a friend of mines best friend was murdered by her husband when she tried to leave him 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CutieQuesadilla Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 Just now, J.M. Matthews said: I wouldn't. If someone's not treating me right they're eventually going to have to deal with being by themselves. That's not really my problem if someone needs other people. Codependence is not a habit I wish to get into. I actually like the idea of abandoning my other family. I couldn't give a SHIT About them. It’s not about codependency. I can’t really explain the fuckery that is myself. I don’t like most people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 2 minutes ago, Katya_Hiki said: its just not always that easy to leave, so its not always an option. someone can be financially controlled, isolated from those that can help them, or too afraid of the what might happen if they leave a friend of mines best friend was murdered by her husband when she tried to leave him My brother's the same way. Homicidal and violent towards his wife, as she often is to him. I'm like, screw this shit, I'm moving. Let THESE fuckers fend for themselves and wipe their OWN asses. There will always be ways to escape people who abuse you. You just have to proceed with caution and know an opportunity when you see it to get out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katya_Hiki Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 1 minute ago, J.M. Matthews said: My brother's the same way. Homicidal and violent towards his wife, as she often is to him. I'm like, screw this shit, I'm moving. Let THESE fuckers fend for themselves and wipe their OWN asses. There will always be ways to escape people who abuse you. You just have to proceed with caution and know an opportunity when you see it to get out. or ya know, get murdered.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 3 minutes ago, CutieQuesadilla said: It’s not about codependency. I can’t really explain the fuckery that is myself. I don’t like most people. Well, that's a problem. No matter what situation you're in, success in life requires common sense, planning, and social skills. People who can't learn to be kind and friendly with people will have difficulty pretty much everywhere they do. A Happy Life requires social AND Survival skills. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 (edited) 4 minutes ago, Katya_Hiki said: or ya know, get murdered.... Yeah, he's an ex-con with homicidal tendencies and a violent raging temper, and his family is totally oblivious to it, they just belittle him and egg him on. Not good. It's a disaster waiting to happen. But I have no control over that, They're too out of control and ill-behaved to be around for very long and still be safe. That's why I did leave, so I'm not bothering to stick around. Edited May 19, 2018 by J.M. Matthews Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discolé monade Posted May 19, 2018 Share Posted May 19, 2018 it's not always that easy, mate. you see folks saying 'my grandparents have been together for 50,60 years, what they don't know is that the woman probably didn't have any options. it's not as easy as just leaving. but...i get what you are saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 2 minutes ago, discolemonade said: it's not always that easy, mate. you see folks saying 'my grandparents have been together for 50,60 years, what they don't know is that the woman probably didn't have any options. it's not as easy as just leaving. but...i get what you are saying. Oh I know. I know not all of use can leave horrible situations, if that were true, everyone living in the Middle East and Africa would have relocated to America a long time ago. But some times you can leave. And if you can leave a bad situation before it gets even worse, you should, Good people leave and find opportunities and bad people get worse and expect everyone else to be their slave. Sometimes having a reliable outer family-friend-professionals support system of people who are willing to help you can be the difference between life and death. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 (edited) I'm a power-hungry egotist who likes to be in complete control of his environment (i.e. I'm a born leader), That's why I was so socially successful in animation college (art school). I was in control of my situation purely due to my confidence, independence, and charisma with friends and agreeable family. It was an environment conducive to that. Damn right I leave somewhere if I'm not in control. Maybe not right away, but if circumstances favor it to one degree or another. Things aren't always favorable to elements like that, but when they are favorable, you better look out. The thing is, if someone's morbidly jealous of you and your freedom, they could try to sabotage you from being in an environment conducive to your personality. That's the person you need to leave behind. The more powerless you feel should be a red flag that's the more you need to seek opportunities elsewhere. Not having control over your social situation is the absolutely more horrid feeling. I avoid it at all costs. Edited May 19, 2018 by J.M. Matthews Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 (edited) You have to be careful around narcissists and sociopaths. They don't make for very safe or welcoming families. Edited May 19, 2018 by J.M. Matthews Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J.M. Matthews Posted May 19, 2018 Author Share Posted May 19, 2018 (edited) It's when one of you're parents dies when you become an adult. THAT'S when things can really go to shit. You have to be careful. My brother's family is so fucked. I have no desire to sit around watching their alcohol-induced downward, parental, out of control spiral. Yeah, they're all gonna kill themselves, as long as they don't give themselves space from each other. A family of 2 25-year-old parents and their 3 little kids sleeping in one tiny room in his Dad's house. The fuck?? Makes me glad I got a small apartment-house all to myself now. They only WISH they could live like I do Edited May 19, 2018 by J.M. Matthews Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
death_by_motorboat Posted May 21, 2018 Share Posted May 21, 2018 On 5/18/2018 at 9:12 PM, J.M. Matthews said: Find somewhere else to live and Leave them behind my wife preferred to leave without planning ahead, so it was a scary situation when she would run out of money. one time she left me for a week after a few suicidal episodes, and there was severe emotional problems including both her parents dying and the birth and placement of our kid, there was dependence on alcohol on her part and me always struggling to get by. i told the cops i didnt know where she was in case she hung herself in the woods, (hey the bitch married me right? why is she disappearing to allentown for a week?) so when the cops asked her why i reported she might be in danger, she didnt even have to come home, or she could have pressed charges a 100 times and she did sometimes and dealing with that worked out easy because she wanted to live together still, so the court order was just to keep us from fighting and we decided we could work it out and she dropped it like a saint. and i love her for that. and easy because she kept it a legal situation and didnt let it come between us and dropped the charges, then we stayed together another two years of fighting anyway. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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