midnight

That's next week. Anniversary.

He's had a little social interaction. We let him go to day care for a while, just for socialization, and he played soccer last fall. He will be playing again this year.

I know the boy is spoiled with gaming. I had the consoles at one time too. But I was already almost grown when the SNES came out. I had one, but didn't play it much. I didn't have to deal with school massacres. All of that mess started happening long after I was out of school. But we home school our kids for that reason. And the education system here is jacked.

They misspelled Madison.

It is never dull. And our kids have a huge age gap. One will be 17 this month, and the boy is 5. One wants to be around us 24-7, and the other one we see when she wants something. If we see her outside raking or something, we're like, oh shit. What does she want? Haha. The boy just tells us what he wants. And he's got expensive taste. Little man wants video games. And not the cheap ones. He wants the $60 ones. Kids are expensive. But they come in handy as little dependents. Haha.

Nah. Dude is already embalmed with chemicals. He can drink a gallon of anti-freeze and go to Boom's for some overpriced Hungry Man's.

The truth is not always nice. Pine Sol will leave a fresh scent. Or that of a public restroom. Either way. An upgrade.

Pot. Meet kettle.

Nah. He's comfortable in his bed, he just wants a bigger one. A king sized bed like we sleep in. Which isn't happening anytime soon. He sleeps in his own bed a lot, but he does like to come to our bed a lot too. I just have to tell him before he goes to bed, not to come in our room tonight, and he won't. But right now it's fine. He's five and he doesn't really know any one except his family. So, he likes being around us all time. We have to enjoy that while it lasts, because one day he won't want to be around us all the time.

Crack. Bridge. Worms. An autobiography.

You should gargle with Listerine. By you, I mean your vagina.

You're saying that you paid off a $25,000 vehicle within 4 years? I am scratching my head on this one. You must have had some outrageous monthly payments. Which still leaves me scratching my head, like I contracted head lice.

ITT: Not telling you anything you didn't already know.

If you wake up in the morning, you will know you are not dead. You're welcome.

Our boy has a PS3 in his room, as well as a Switch. He just got a new DS, and he still wants to play our daughter's Xbox, and all of disco's DS games. He has a ton of games, but always wants everybody else's shit. And he says every night, "I will be in your bed later." Even if we tell him to sleep in his bed tonight, he will wait until we go to sleep and sneak in. Sometimes I'd like to lock our door, but it would feel cruel. Little man is a bed hog too. And constantly kicking us. Little shit.

Seriously? Because he comes into our room every night and climbs in the bed with us. He likes our big bed more than he likes his bed.

I just use YouTube. I have Spotify, but never use it.

Yep. Every night.

I am fine. And I am fine too. No problems here. No problems here either.

Congratulations, my boy. Well done, sir.

Gonna save the energy for next week. Our anniversary. Just gonna chill tonight. Bed time soon.

Smoke a bowl and put on the Beatles. You will be fine.

I am enjoying the parent-free evening. Listening to the Beatles now. Yellow Submarine. Probably gonna jam to Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band next. Or Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Yep. No shame at all.

Now I am jamming to Jim Croce. And I have no problem talking to myself.

Glad to know I'm not the only one.