Zenigundam

Hopefully, my bench warrant isn't an issue. Fortnite trained me well, I'm ready for this. 💪🦒👨‍✈️

I curse at people all the time on Fortnite over Switch what's the big deal

Julia...

No! No! Look me in the eyes, dude... no h@@o though. 🙇‍♂️

Why didn't she reply to me?! Why didn't she REPLY to me?! 🧔😡🦒

*steps to you* Careful... 🐰

Yeah, I did bro, and if you're a cop we can put up the dukes, and if you know her outside of YouTube well I don't need a wingman!!! *shoves* 🐺

Dude, if you're a cop, just step to me and we can figure this out! 👊

I'm the long time but young and charming resident lone wolf alpha male warrior.

And we always will be

If you must know... she did. We're meeting up tomorrow. I'm picking her up in an Uber limo when her parents aren't home and I'm going to treat her sexy, legal, 17 year old self to the time of her life. And why would I do this you wonder? Because Julia and I are madly in love. 👨‍💼

Not really

Mostly sequels. How about getting some original games? 🐰

*looks up at the starry night sky* Godspeed, Johnnygundam. Someday you will be... an alpha male legend. 🦒

If I don't use a condom and she doesn't use birth control, Johnnygundam will be well on his way. 💪👨‍🏫🎎

The SNK collection weehah!!! Five finger discount!!!

I'm probably gonna get FIFA 19 for PS4 because I always hated soccer, but now it's cool other candidates include Octopath Traveler (Switch obviously, if you didn't know that, then you just aren't cool), Spider-Man (PS4), and the physical copy of Celeste (Switch duh). Where's your chedda headed?

I miss the girls from 2005. Not on the ASMB, I'm talking about in real life, and now they're all damn cougars oh it hurts. 👨‍💼

I should have taken steroids. I would have been more of a stud and gotten that track girl who I wanted so badly. I was still a lone wolf alpha male, but I did sell myself short. 🧔

I'm not on that list. I'm on the NJ restraining order database, but that's only a formality until the girl gets her time and space and tells them to take me out of it. We were in over our heads and I was ahead of my time.

It's pretty cool. It can be overwhelming though just because of the sheer amount of friends I have and not having enough time in a day.

Her HS culture is above your head. I can relate because I'm young and hip, you used a commodore 64 in HS. 🦖

You're losing so badly right now.

Wtf? Dude, you're like 40. 17 and 40 dont go together, date somebody way older. I'm sure she can tell you're not in her age group when you make posts like these; that jargon is dated. 🤦‍♂️

I don't wanna get my girlfriend pregnant because that'll ruin her college experience when she gets there and Johnnygundam, although an alpha male, will need motherly advice at his disposal.