Zenigundam

Whoa back up there. You're getting way too confrontational for my liking.

Hopefully so, that way I get to tell my version of the truth, and shoot down all the media lies about creepiness and stalking!

Man what an amazing idea. I'll even come back to my younger days with a 40 of Colt 45 in hand, draining it, and thus building the confidence to confront the fake tough guys who tried to take all my girls and left me to be a nerd with no friends!

No anxiety at all. Just frustration and a wish to return to simpler times, and it'd be great too because then the hot girls who lost it since then will go back to virginity and maybe I can take my added knowledge to be Zeni Smoothcakes and stop the obnoxious brutes from stealing what could have been mine first. <3

Yeah, but I would kick my dad's ass! There was this one time when he told me to do something, and I forget what I said, but I defied him, and he chased me into the living room and caught me, where I pleaded for my life before he hit me on my ass with a belt. I was just a seven year old with not enough weight to buck with him, but nowadays I could do some serious damage, even though he is a little bit bigger than I am still.

Wish I could be 8 or 9 again instead. It's getting to the point where my good, young looks are barely holding up for HS age girls who are starting to think I'm "old" and it's infuriating to be quite honest. Also, life was way simpler in my childhood and pre-teen years, because my mom didn't nag me about paying bills all the time, which is quite bullsh-t.

You guys can't make me date girls my age after they're damaged goods after shunning me for the past ten+ years, it's all about the 18 year olds. I belong with an 18 year old cutie, not a late 20s burnout!

Rationality is overrated. This ain't Ancient Greece, baby! It's 2017, bring on the cuties with the booties!

Trick them? Having sex with me is a privilege.

You wouldn't understand my artistic vision.

I'm not ready to have a kid yet.

Smh. Banned for being a straight, sexy male? Look at what feminism is doing to America... :-\

Boo that's *scoffs and adjusts monocle* laughable really. :

*blocks the doorway* What do you mean? ... *walking toward you*

Humble my rumble <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Yeah 21's the high end of my dating range. Can't settle for less <3

You are no longer in my dating range. Ya had your chance and ya blew it. >(

Might send out a few OKC messages asking if anybody's down for SDS. "I don't do drugs." "No, not drugs. Snow day sex with Daddy Zeni. <3"

I admit that the decoy is cute, and would probably be my girlfriend if I knew her in real life, but she's killing the show because she's too quick to scamper away as if she's afraid of being sexually assaulted. In this newest episode of Hansen vs. Predator, the old geezer goes to close the window, presumably to suppress the sounds of illicit sex, and the decoy runs off into the next room. A good decoy there leans in seductively, smiles, and asks, "Why are you closing the window for? ", before allowing Hansen and the police to get in on the action!

This is about Bucket. Not you.

That's the name of the girl who I tried to get a restraining order against me.

I'm honestly visualizing it right now. We're in my car as I speed down the Garden State Parkway, 80s music blasting, "Kyrie Eleison down the road that I must travel!", my arm around her neck as I drive with one hand, shades down. Then we pull over to the side of the highway and look at some crazy ass mountains from a really scenic spot, and she leans down and kisses me on the cheek and then rests her head on my shoulder, and then I say something really cool and badass to lead into the sex like, "That was good, but how about we take it to another level?" (starts making out with her)

Cutie who likes me. How do I bring it up? She's not like the single mom who I've texted who wants me to come to PA and slam. She's more old school. How do I bring it up on the first date, so that we can do it? Should I make it dramatic or just say, "We should have sex sometime. Maybe tonight" -_'

Can't believe how strong the attraction is between the two of us. She really wanted me to get her pregnant on the job lol. Girl's so kinky!

*Attacks you in the heat of the moment*