[classic swim]

Well said, my friend. I’m thankful for the ghostrek this year.

This dog took a steamy asparagus piss on the sidewalk while I was drinking my beer and it made me wanna retch.

Okay, white liberals. We get it. You’re the coolest ever for still making 9/11 jokes like everyone else after twenty something years. Say! Remember when NY workers had to hide their turbans and alter their speaking when the Towers fell just so monsters wouldn’t drag and beat them out on the street? No? You’re just gonna keep making uninformed tweets about how amazing Bin Laden was, simply out of weird contrarian spite? Okay! Fuck your mother!

YEAH!

Stop going back and forth between 80 and 30 degrees so that electric companies won’t make up imaginary large numbers to bleed everyone dry. I can barely get my shower water to stay hot for 15 minutes. Suck my fucking dick and choke.

Beans.

Hahahahaha what the fuck

I am your friend. Your name is Aaron. You were walking along the playground when another kid threw a dodgeball right at the side of your head and you said “fuck..” and continued to walk. I am your friend. Your name is Aaron. You had a little troublemaking streak in 6th grade, where you said “eff cops” with a school-appointed police man close by. The police man gave you a stern yelling in the hallway for everyone to see. Kids walked up to ask you what happened and you said “shut the fuck up and leave me alone.” You went in the bathroom to cry while all the classmates laughed at what a dumb pussy Aaron is. Your name is Aaron. You and I lost touch long ago. It was an uneasy night in May when your 16 year old daughter kept yelling and throwing objects around the house. She said you were a loser and that her mom would never take you back. You told her to shut the fuck up and get back in her room with Aaron Jr., who was watching short lived FOX sitcom “Sit Down, Shut Up” as way of muffling the verbal arguments. I was your friend. Your name was Aaron. Pneumonia is a sad way to go.

You could dance around this possibly by simply eating veal and not human babies.

Happy birthday!

What would be your words on Bill Murray?

Bill Murray is a bad bad man... he’s a bad bad man

Perfect!

I’m not ashamed of growing up with Hanna-Barbera cartoons. Most certainly are shit, but I could still go my whole life without needing to look at anything Disney. Flintstones had decent comedic timing. Just take the stick out from your ass.

Fortunately for you, my bad memories are coming back and I cannot stomach Bill Murray’s actions even further for this evening. I still think he needs rehabilitation.

He had this to say as well. To his credit, Mr. Murray DOES proclaim you to be his core inspiration. What with you being such a ladies man and all. I just wish he’d stop with his perverted desires, which I wrote to him telling him as much.

Yeah, that’s why I’m not the biggest Bill Murray fan anymore. He had plenty of questionable things to say about you on the Ghostbusters 2 director’s DVD commentary.

Robot Chicken episodes while making food.

This app is a fucking piece of shit.