Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Put a couple of $16 gel bottles in your bookbag, there's a store employee around the corner trying to catch thieves who hears you zipping and unzipping your bag, but he doesn't see the act of you putting the items in your bag occurring, but he's determined to bust you, and he says, "I saw you put something in there, so please take that out of your bag" and you know he's a dumbass and will cause a scene, so you take the two gel bottles out and you say, "You saw that?" (pretending to be bewildered) and then you tell him, "All right just let me go", but he says, "Come with me" and you sprint out of the store, and he tries to grab you by the wrist, but you rip away from his grip and sprint two blocks away. Ever happen to you? The guy who did this today is a true lone wolf alpha male warrior. The escapee I mean ☺🦁🤠 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlappyKincaid Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 Hypothetically, would you consider the lone wolf alpha male warrior who escaped a badass and the store employee a very soft little boy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginguy Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Alphas can afford hair gel. Only Chad-fucking zeta bottoms need to steal it.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyDayJizz#35 Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 (edited) When I was fifteen I stole a bottle of vodka from a store by hiding it with my belt. The cashier yelled at me and I walked right out the door, some guy started to chase me so I kicked off my sandals and booked. Partially hurdled a car on an off ramp of a major street, ran across that street (it was late at night) and my friend picked me up on the other side of it. Unfortunately since he sped out of the parking lot when he saw me being chased someone got his plates and we ended up busted. I just got an 8 hour class and a shackle scare. Edited June 2, 2018 by GreatBallsOfJizz 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Ginguy said: Alphas can afford hair gel. Only Chad-fucking zeta bottoms need to steal it.... Hmmmm that's funny because it seemed the zeta bottom was the weak ass store employee who needed to mind his own business and almost got KO'ed!! ...but I'm just asking for a friend. ☺ Edited June 2, 2018 by Zenigundam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 1 minute ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said: When I was fifteen I stole a bottle of vodka from a store by hiding it in my belt. The cashier yelled at me and I walked right out the door, some guy started to chase me so I kicked off my sandals and booked. Partially hurdled a car on an off ramp of a major street, ran across that street (it was late at night) and my friend picked me up on the other side of it. Unfortunately since he sped out of the parking lot when he saw me being chased someone got his plates and we ended up busted. I just got an 8 hour class and a shackle scare. That sucks. That guy was such a loser for doing all of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainyDayJizz#35 Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 The cops brought my sandals back and they lasted about twelve years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 1 minute ago, GreatBallsOfJizz said: The cops brought my sandals back and they lasted about twelve years. I'll never let the cops catch me... I mean hypothetically. 🐂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gyaos Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 No. My hair doesn't grow long enough so I don't steal hair gel, let alone buy any. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 (edited) 6 minutes ago, mthor said: See, this is what happens when you're constantly drunk. It used to be that you could steal a complete game system from WalMart and not have a second thought, and now you can't even steal hair gel. How have the mighty fallen. mthor, this isn't about me, it's about a friend of mine. Also, when my friend stole that PS4 (not Walmart), he was working the overnight shift as a data entry clerk and pounced on a golden opportunity to teach that retail company that it should improve its security measures. Also, he was a badass lone wolf alpha male warrior. And yesterday, my friend thought about swinging on that lame store employee who had a bootleg Kanye West look to him, but my friend decided to leg it out of there because a physical altercation would have surely involved the cops and long dormant bench warrants, so now my friend is Scot free a day later because he made some badass decisions yesterday. Edited June 2, 2018 by Zenigundam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 16 minutes ago, mthor said: Your friend is free today because of dumb luck, but rest assured, your friend's luck will run out; stupid always triumphs over good fortune. My friend isn't fortunate or lucky, he's just a badass lone wolf alpha male warrior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 2 minutes ago, mthor said: Your friend is both. But he will be caught, sooner rather than late. After all, the phenomenon of the alpha wolf exists only in captivity, and I'm sure that even now, the fates are conspiring to put him somewhere where alphaness can actually be achieved . Yeah if by captivity you mean confined to a Holiday Inn suite with a hot, blonde model type, then I would say that your clairvoyant take on my alpha male warrior friend's near future is quite accurate. Wow that guy's such a beast... and he just might go back to that same store for the hair gel today... 💪 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hornshire Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 Look, if you want to give your friend a handjob that much, just get on with it. Nobody cares about how awesome you think he is. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 6 minutes ago, Kweerie said: Look, if you want to give your friend a handjob that much, just get on with it. Nobody cares about how awesome you think he is. No, I'm straight, I'm just saying he's a badass dude who can get any hot betch who ever lived because he's a legitimate alpha male. 🐭 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 And he will get every hot girl he wants... even if he has to create an online dating site account... 💪🏋️♂️🐷 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ginguy Posted June 2, 2018 Share Posted June 2, 2018 2 hours ago, Zenigundam said: My friend isn't fortunate or lucky, he's just a badass lone wolf alpha male warrior. So if it is your friend who is the alpha whatever that means you are the pudgy, Chad-fucking zeta bottom with an eminently punchable face.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zenigundam Posted June 2, 2018 Author Share Posted June 2, 2018 16 minutes ago, Ginguy said: So if it is your friend who is the alpha whatever that means you are the pudgy, Chad-fucking zeta bottom with an eminently punchable face.... Dude, don't make fun of my friend he's a warrior Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AstroCreep Posted June 3, 2018 Share Posted June 3, 2018 No. But the last time I shoplifted I was 7, however, I too took the flee option. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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