Mix

54 minutes ago, André Toulon said:

Doesn't everyone just eat ass now..

It's a great time to be alive

40 minutes ago, -Ninja_Jesus- said:

There’s this one OnlyFans where they tested the pineapple juice myth, can you see what the results are?

If it has Myth in the title, it's not true.

1 hour ago, molarbear said:

Member when Pornhub's homemade section was better than found bigfoot footage but not million dollar budget quality?

It's more like walking into a funhouse than watching a porn these days, you got like 9 cameras all showing different angles at once. I start feeling like the spider in Rugrats that got out it's cage when they tried to replace Spike and they tried to show you what a spider's vision would be like.

 

I'm convinced some of these people bust out a James Cameron' budget for their 3 min bang

A+ reference

8 minutes ago, Vamped said:

I dont want to know the people in the porns. 

 

boundaries 

 

That's too bad.

The Christmas cards are delightful.

44 minutes ago, Vamped said:

I'm not paying for Onlyfans when I can scroll for hours on pornhub for free

 

Big companies are ruining this country.

Why not give local mom and pop porn a chance?

I can send you one where mom really gives it to pop.

You ever see a scene made so well you forget you're turned on?

You're just sitting there muttering to yourself, "is that drone footage....who has the time to shoot and edit in b-roll.....nah, that was rehearsed, you don't just expect that to happen."

Neither did I, but now that I know this bit of info i'm going to subtly hint that i'm better than you because I don't drink it.

Is it weird that I kinda want to drink it now?

15 hours ago, Seight said:

I'm seen something like this happen once.

I wasn't old enough to mow yet so it was the mower of someone we paid, but yeah.

I saw my new neighbor's brand new lawn mower blow up on the very first day he used it.

Idk know what happened, but I laughed and karma won't let me forget it.

Kim's Convenience

S6 Ep13

I'm a sucker for a well made sitcom.

32 minutes ago, molarbear said:

 

Did you stick your dick in it though?

right in the gas tank...

hence the fire....

Please don't fuck this up

Please don't fuck this up

Please don't fuck this up

🤞

🤣

Man, I didn't realize how much i've missed riding the bus.

1 hour ago, Poof said:

ikr

I had to throw out some human after I turned on some anthropology flick 

what a waste 

isn't hummus just like chickpeas?

Why does this keep happening to me?

I'll randomly come across some nature doc that catches my eye while, at the same time, eating the thing that i'm watching be happy and free and....alive '>.>

I once buried some venison in my backyard. It felt weird giving a funeral speech without naming it, so I called it Gary.

...I'm eating this fish though. I'm starving '>.>

44 minutes ago, molarbear said:

Anyone got @Mix ? My contact with him outside of here is inconsistent at best

 

No worries, bruv.

I'm actually immortal.

Keep that info on the low though.

Damn vampire hunters are hella persistent.

I try to explain that i'm not a vampire, show them the painting, but no....it's all sharp sticks and water with those guys....ageist motherfuckers

4 hours ago, UnDeRwOrlDpRiNcEsS said:

Sign me up for this epic disaster. 

don't over sell this

this is a regular disaster at most

4 hours ago, Vamped said:

Police and rape jokes ... 

how else are you supposed to throw a house party?

This isn't one of your cotillions or late evening soirees.

You leave your manners at home and come have a good time.

8 hours ago, Seight said:

I'll bring the napkins and stuff.

You're a life savor.

I always forget the napkins and cocaine.

5 hours ago, André Toulon said:

I smell PUSSY

 

I didn't know those guys were musicians.

I thought they were athletes.

Either way I was certain they weren't actors.

1 hour ago, nameraka said:

 

I was never much fun at parties to begin with, and now I don''t even drink.

all I have to offer is one horribly unfunny rape joke. 

you don't want this.

I'm going to need you to refrain from telling the rape joke until I give you the signal.

The signal will be when I tell my rape joke.

Two rape jokes cancel each other out. That's science.

1 hour ago, scoobdog said:

 

🤘

I've already made several mistakes.

I told my neighbors ahead of time, also invited them, like you do when you don't want them to call the cops.

Turns out they think I called the cops on them some time ago and I could not convince them otherwise, so they are for sure calling the cops.

I also made a bad throw away joke about the party being BYOB (bring your own bitch) in a group text where people had added their girlfriends.

These women already hate me for being the archetype of the guy you don't want your husband to be friends with. Also, because they've secured the gold band on the finger and I still refer to them as "the girlfriends."

And I failed to secure blackjack and hookers.

It's gonna suck.

Wanna come?