Mix

Human Traffic

Happy Birthday.

I got you a brand new TV.

On an unrelated note, I broke your old TV, ok, Happy Birthday....

gotcha, will do

I've actually completely forgotten what it was about.

Is it worth watching or should I just read the plot and call it a day?

7 hours ago, scoobdog said:

I seem to recall you contemplating life over a circular saw before…

First time for me, boss.

Now if we're talkin' big birds, this wasn't the first. Ran into an aggressive goose once and saw my life flash before my eyes (most of it was spent in front of a screen displaying cartoons or porn....and sometimes, cartoon porn)

9 hours ago, molarbear said:

Did you keep your foreskin?

Wait, I'm supposed to keep it?

It was my first time and I wasn't using it how you're supposed to.

Before I began cutting, I remember thinking, "how funny would it be if this is how I died."

- "Yo, I heard Mix died."

- "Overdose?"

- "Circular Saw."

Luckily, it all worked out and I was super psyched. Had a whole mini-celebration and everything.

Then, at that moment something deep inside told me to look up. I was standing under a tree. In that tree was a falcon just staring at me.

I thought, "how funny would it be if this is how I died."

They can't wave back. You're making them look like an ass.

Just nod! It's a smoother and more practical greeting.

You nod, I nod, we go on with our day.

I can't nod after you've waved. It's less of a greeting and more of a dismissal.

Fuckin' hell...

You black out and make it back home?

Shit, I don't see a problem here.

58 minutes ago, Poofy said:

dating a transgirl(can't get pregnant) is a form of risk management

Preach

4 minutes ago, SwimOdin said:

I like it, but it's so fucking ridiculous.  The character of Beth getting everything she wants in her schemes is lazy writing.  The ranching scenes of legit cowboy work used to drive me crazy, but now I find it endearing?  It's such a tonally weird show sometimes.  Like, also corny.  How is a show this corny the most popular on TV?

Tons of popular things are hella corny.

I mean, Taylor Swift just shut town ticker master.

19 minutes ago, atomicinumatt said:

Jokes on them, I like to sow crop in every field I till. 

Survival of the fittest in numbers. Besides, at least one of the fuckers has to grow up to be successful. 

Successful crops make me think of vineyards

4 hours ago, matrixman124 said:

There's a reason guys have pullout games and it's not because women are magically overpower them lol

Also if the guys are so worried they should bring and wear condoms.

Nuh uh

3 minutes ago, TrigunBebop said:

Just a reminder: You never have to worry about this with a balloon.

#BalloonSexIsSafeSex

I love you

The morning after you tried to pull out and she grabbed you, held tight, and whispered, "lets roll the dice."

Side Note; Ladies, if you wanna have a laugh, try this out, it's hilarious. Watching him panic as he cums is priceless. His O face battling his scared face. It'll look like he's being force choked by Darth Vader. I mean, sure, he'll be mad, but what's he gonna do...leave you? Nah, you're having his kid, maybe, who knows, anyway there are no downsides. 

what....is that?

It'll convince you that it's ok for that family to own half of Montana and murder anyone that tries to change that.

I love shows where the only difference between the good guys and the bad guys is in how you tell the story.

21 hours ago, Insipid said:

Sounds like a you problem.

What does?

6 hours ago, nameraka said:

I did that once. 

spoiler alert: it was not a good decision.

What's a good decision?

I mean every decision is a good decision...in the moment that you make it.

And as long as you live in the moment, as people often say and tattoo on themselves, you should be fine.

...is the closest we'll come to time travel.

1 minute ago, SwimModSponges said:

You know, I've legitimately considered getting into politics.

You think you'd need to be a lawyer or something like that, but Lauren Boebert was a prostitute without a GED just a few months before she became a congressperson.

So, I mean...

I hear it pays well.

omg, dude, it's fun times.

Like, qualifications aside, you think you'd have to do real work in a position like that, but nope...

it's like sex, you just gotta say whatever you need to say to get in there and once you're in, you're in....you don't have to accomplish anything....

I have ultimate power and I have to leave my home for nude models and cocaine?

I don't want to, but I can't find this really dope joke I tweeted or...posted on facebook, idk.

I can't remember which platform it's on.

I just remember it was really funny and really racist....and I know they'll find that shit.

Oh shit, I could of googled this?

It's always crazy when you think you can't google something, but then you find out you can.