Knowing Bagu= Instant Street Cred in Zelda II

[Zenigundam]

Need a gangsta smiley

[Houdini Splicer]

Bagu's the guy who lives alone in the woods, correct? You take his letter to Error so you can cross the bridge.

 

Well, you shouldn't brag about knowing Bagu. Bagu doesn't live in the woods by choice. Although he is a mighty warrior, the town elder banished Bagu because he couldn't keep his dick out of the livestock. Horses, chickens, it didn't matter to Bagu. If he wanted to give your horse a dicking-down, your horse was getting a dicking-down. If one of your chickens was found dead, Bagu had paid it a visit.

 

The townspeople got tired of this, and wanted Bagu to be put to death. The elder couldn't bring himself to order Bagu's execution, for, you see, Bagu is his eldest son. So, instead, Bagu was banished to the woods for life.

 

Error is Bagu's younger brother. The letter Bagu gives you to take to Error is simply to let Error know Bagu is doing fine, but he really, REALLY misses the horses and chickens. Oh, and now he gets turned on by Octoroks - "What that mouth do?"

 

So. Yeah. For future reference, if I were you, I wouldn't go around bragging about knowing Bagu. But, then again, you are a creepy little bastard, so you probably already knew all this. 

[Zenigundam]

The townspeople are nerds who get no girls, and Bagu brings countryside hotties to his cabin in the woods all the time, so basically my best friend is an old school, medieval player, and he's one of my many friends because I'm so popular that I have friends in the real world and beyond, so yeah, don't be jealous.

[Houdini Splicer]

You're saying your best friend is a horse fucker?

Wow.

Just wow.

 

So, I take it you know those "countryside hotties" all have four legs and eat stuff like oats, corn, and hay? And the only word they know is "neigh"?

See? They tell him no, but Bagu doesn't listen.

 

Damn livestock rapist, and the creepy little bastard. What a fucking pair.