Narrator:
Our story begins at Titan Tower. Raven is seated at the dining table reading a newspaper. Beast Boy is seated nearby reading a manga. Robin is a few feet away at his desk poring over the household bills.
Robin:
"What!? $2,780 for a new fridge? That’s the last time I let Cyborg do the shopping. Darn him and his obsession with high tech. What was wrong with the old fridge anyway?"
Raven:
"Silkie ate it"
Robin:
"Why doesn’t anybody take that magot to the dump to eat? It’s a veritible buffet for him and it’s free!"
Beast Boy:
"He doesn’t like junk food."
Starfire: **shuffles in slowly**
"Please as not to converse so loudly. I’m hanging over."
Robin:
"Well, look who finally decided to get out of bed. Good afternoon."
Raven:
"Too much lemonade again? If citric acid is intoxicating to you, why do you keep drinking it?"
Starfire:
"It’s just so delicious. I can’t resist it."
Beast Boy:
"Sign up for Lemons Anonymous."
Cyborg: **Yelling from upstairs**
"RaaaVEN!! When are you going to learn to stop leaving this disgusting hair in the shower drain!?"
Raven:
"How about when you learn to flush?"
Cyborg:
"That’s Beast Boy’s mess!"
Raven:
"Don’t lie. His is orange and smells like black walnut."
Beast Boy:
"Now just HOW would you know THAT!?"
Raven:
"I do the laundry here."
Robin:
"Alright, Beast Boy! What’s THIS?"
Beast Boy:
"It’s the receipt for last month’s electric bill."
Robin:
"That’s a rhetorical question! I mean, why is it folded into a paper swan? Don’t you remember what happened the last time we lost a utility receipt?"
Beat Boy:
"Well I…"
Robin:
"Look, use this for your stupid oragami!" **throws book at Beast Boy**
Raven:
"That’s my spell book."
Robin:
"Well, keep it off my desk. The bills don’t get paid by magic."
Starfire: **vomits copiously**
Raven:
"Eww." **floats mop over to Beast Boy**
Beast Boy:
Hey, what the…"
Raven:
You owe me a day of cleaning the kitchen, remember? A bet’s a bet and I’m calling it. Now hurry before it burns through the marble."
Robin:
"That does it! I’m scratching everything citrus off the grocery list."
Cyborg: **steps in**
"That won’t help. She’s got her own lemon tree in her room. Raven, I’m sorry I yelled at you. My back has been killing me all morning and it has me out of sorts."
Raven: "I’ll take you to Jiffy Lube."
**Door bell rings, Robin looks at the monitor**
Robin:
"Oh! Heidi’s here! **sprays in breath deodorizer and combs hair** Now, everybody act cool."
Raven: "News flash, Robin. The mail carrier is not in love with you. She wouldn’t waste ten minutes with you."
Robin: "Put a sock in it." **opens door**
Heidi:
"I’ve got three packages for…"
Star Fire: **blows massive major chunks**
Heidi: **drops packages and runs***
Robin:
"Way to mess up my moves, Star Fire!"
Raven: **sniffs package**
"It’s the wolfsbane I ordered."
Beast Boy:
"Sweet! Can I have some? I might need it. Cyborg’s mom will be visiting next week."
Cyborg:
"You mealy mouthed little punk! I’ll…"
**alarm rings**
Star Fire:
"No, no! Not now!"
Robin:
"Trouble! It’s Cinder Block again. Come on, Star Fire You could finally put that acid of yours to good use. Titans, GO!"
Narrator:
"And so begins another day of heroic adventures for the Dysfunctional Titans."