Brendan Fraser runs to the nearest barber shop.

[Codename: Jackass]

The pouring rain outside masks the tears streaming down his face. He hasn’t had a good acting role in ages. He can barely scrape a living, the alimony’s eating away at his living standards.

 

It’s a dingy little barber shop on a back street, there are no customers but him. He sits on the seat, looks at his sorry face in the mirror in front of him for a moment and bawls out in emotional agony. His head falls into his hands, and he quietly sobs until the barber begins to speak.

 

“What cut do you want, Brendan?”

 

Brendan looks deep into the barber’s eyes, his own eyes now redder than the stripes on the barber pole outside. “Just fuck my shit up.”

 

“Brendan, I’ve told you a thousand times you have to stop doing this to yourse-”

 

“I SAID FUCK MY SHIT UP!”

 

The barber freezes.

 

“WHAT PART OF ‘FUCK MY SHIT UP’ DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?” Brendan thrusts a hundred dollar bill into the barber’s hand. “JUST DO IT.”

 

The barber lets out a half-hearted sigh; really, he’s happy. He just got a hundred dollars to fuck a guy’s shit up. After half an hour, it is complete. Brendan gazes upon himself once more in the mirror. “It’s terrible. Thank you, fam.”

 

“It’s a pleasure,” the barber says.

 

Brendan stumbles out of the barber shop and collapses into a puddle outside. That $100 was all the money he had left. Alimony’s due tomorrow. Looks like Brendan’s sleeping rough tonight.

 

 

[quebecelegy]

 

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[Codename: Jackass]

BRENDAN DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT

 

 

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[Codename: Jackass]

JUST UNFUCK MY SHIT 2017