Drummer Vinnayy!

[[classic swim]]

Vincent Cesmaridonale is an aged drummer who performs at local shows in rural Mississippi. 

He had a huge problem with blow in the 80s. He had spent most of his years in separation and living in his Vegas summer home before eventually leaving Nevada empty handed. 
 

The year is 2011.

Vinnie both lived in and shared squalor with his plump yet robust landlord Crove, and their other roommate Max.

Inside Crove’s small childhood home, you’d often hear loud sniffing sounds coming from Vinnie’s room.

Vincent really wanted Crove to sit on his face, despite the big lady being 60 and only showering 2 days out of each week.

Max had a full time job and an unhealthy problem excessively biting his lip. He couldn’t afford to live anywhere else that didn’t incessantly annoy him and want him to kill himself.

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One day, Vinnie stopped and asked Max if he could go down the street for him and buy a Powerade at the Dollar General for 5 bucks.

Contrary to Drummer Vinnie, most never had to perform oral sex in exchange for fast food money. 5 dollars on a shitty fruit drink bottle wasn’t the end of the world for Max.

Max never asked to be reimbursed.

One simple afternoon as Max was beginning to exit the house, Vinnie suddenly bolted over and said “here’s your five dollars, dood!” And slammed the door in Max’s face.
 

“...Fuck off,” Vincent also retorted from under his breath.

 

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Vinnie was a very odd-looking man.

He looks and sounds identical to Marvin from Conker’s Bad Fur Day.

**This is what that character looks like for reference.**

Vin made some decent money thanks to his CDL he had obtained, and he was attending a class at the Community Center to present his love for music!

Things didn’t seem all that bad for Drummer Vinnie!

 

Until one day.

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You see, everyone attending this Community Center class had to present a PowerPoint presentation on what they define as their underlying passion.

Everyone had their own written passwords to the computers, and fellow class member Corwin happened to obtain Vinnie’s password.

Unbeknownst to Vinnie, some edits to his PowerPoint presentation were made.

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It was the big day!

Our musician was called up to present his slides to all of the Community Center class.

 

”Hey, y’all! This is Drummer Vinnie!

Man, I’ve really fallen on some hard times as a local drummer and truck driver. But y’know, all that really keeps me goin’ is the damn music, mannnn!

I’ve compiled a list of events and whatnot that really got a hold of my spirit and made me a hell of a performer just rockin’ out hardcore!” Vinnie was ecstatic.

Lotta time and effort and practice was placed into compiling all this stuff up for the classroom.

That’s when the projector showed all the penises placed on the introductory slide.

”WAHHHHAHHAHHHH,” Vinnie screamed like Ben Stiller.

Corwin somehow obtained a naked photo of Vinnie in between all the other closeups of raw dicks.

The whole class laughed as some guy went “hahah Vincent’s got a tiny cock!”

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Back at home, Max and Crove were having a conversation at the dinner table about ribs.

Vincent stormed home and said “look I know y’all are calling me a pussy and a bitch! That’s what all ANYONE at the motherfuckin lumberyard had to say about me. Well, I’m no fuckin punk.” 

No one had any idea what he was talking about, so that’s when he shed a tear and just walked away to his room.

”Yeah mom, oh they treat me like d-ddd-dawwwwwwgggg shieeeeeiitttt,” Vinnie said over the phone to his 80 year old mother.

Drummer Vinnie had a long conversation with his momma about how his feelings were hurt... then ended the call asking if she could spare 400 bucks so he can afford his rent.