A Family Walks Into A Talent Agency...

[MasqueradeOverture]

 

It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us."

 

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute."

 

The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

 

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

 

The family forms a circle around the dog-facing outwards, on their knees with their pants down. The dog goes from person to person and, each time he touches his nose to someone's anus, the person shouts, "Praise Jesus!" They do this for 3 minutes then, they each fight over taking turns at making out with the dog's ass. The dog, meanwhile eats a bowl of EX LAX and the game is to see who can catch the first spurt of diarrhea. Eventually, everyone has had a turn and the floor is covered in feces. The mother then takes an unused jumbo tampon and sops up the mess. She then pops out her left eyeball from the socket and inserts said tampon. While the infection sets in, the ensuing flies join in on the act. The children fight over tugging the tampon out of their Mother's eye while the Father pops the other eye out of the eye socket and fucks it. Meanwhile, the Mother finger fucks the kids' asses while the dog barks along to Mother's singing, "God Bless America". The Father breaks down in a fit of patriotic tears while the dog then sits on his still erect cock. The daughter gets jealous and steals his spot and shoves the dog's cock in her tight, maggot infested vagina. The daughter gets pregnant and the son aborts her baby with a fly swatter. The Mother and Father eat the fetus-tearing it limb by limb while, simultaneously ripping the fur off the dog. The entire family skins the dog and eats its entrails, entrails of which are full of gas so the Father strikes a match and sets his family ablaze, and…while they are on fire, the Father takes the dog's burnt penis and shoves it down the throat of his son. The Father then takes the burnt remains of the family, eats them, shits out the ashes, praises the terrorists for their good work in the 9/11 gig and then suffocates himself in the steaming mountain of feces while fucking the floor and thinking about Jesus getting ass fucked by Mel Gibson.

 

For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?"

 

And in his dying breath, the father says... "The Aristocrats."