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What Are You Thinking About?


DragonSinger

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3 hours ago, André Toulon said:

Guh whoooooo

girl-spill-the-tea.gif

I can't remember if I posted the backstory to this situation or not but I'll just recap real in quick in case I didn't. 

So my cousin has been letting his most recent baby's mother live with him. (He claims they're not together, have never really been together, ((she's always knowingly been a side chick)). So since they're not together, he went out for New Years Eve, had a good time, came back drunk.

So the alleged side chicks gets mad, pours Clorox in my cousins $4,000 dollar aquarium set up. It was a really cool, really expensive set up. He's got a lot of exotic fish and all his kids have named the fish, they get really excited about them etc.

.... well not anymore because all of them are now exotic little corpses. She also throws bleach on the furniture and some of his sneakers

So he flies off the handle and they fight. He roughs her up pretty bad because my uncle told us it didn't look good.

 ......So apparently they have a history of fighting but this time is just really bad so she leaves the house and calls the police. 

Meanwhile my aunt goes over there to get the baby because shit went left. My cousin leaves and the police show up and its just my aunt and the baby and a house full of bleach so they called CPS. Warrant issued for my cousin's arrest.

 

Fast Forward: 

So one of my cousins other side chicks says ... don't worry about anything, I got 5,000 cash to pay the bond and I can cover the legal fees. 

My cousin says Nah ... I dont ask my girl(s?) for money, my family will pay for it. 

So the side chick goes over to the other girl's house and fights her because she offered to pay his legal fees ... she gets her ass beat and then arrested. 

I'm like how do you keep starting these fights and getting your ass beat every time? Maybe stop trying to fight people?!

No excuse for my  cousin to put his hands on the girl either though.

But I'm just like .... bruh I dont know what "family" going to pay your legal fees. I can put like 10 bucks on your books for like 2 honey buns and some toilet paper if you go to jail for real.  

These crimes against fish need to stop. 

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3 hours ago, Vamped said:

But I'm just like .... bruh I dont know what "family" going to pay your legal fees. I can put like 10 bucks on your books for like 2 honey buns and some toilet paper if you go to jail for real.  

 

LMAO, I think you're being a little too generous with that offer.

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3 hours ago, Vamped said:

I can't remember if I posted the backstory to this situation or not but I'll just recap real in quick in case I didn't. 

So my cousin has been letting his most recent baby's mother live with him. (He claims they're not together, have never really been together, ((she's always knowingly been a side chick)). So since they're not together, he went out for New Years Eve, had a good time, came back drunk.

So the alleged side chicks gets mad, pours Clorox in my cousins $4,000 dollar aquarium set up. It was a really cool, really expensive set up. He's got a lot of exotic fish and all his kids have named the fish, they get really excited about them etc.

.... well not anymore because all of them are now exotic little corpses. She also throws bleach on the furniture and some of his sneakers

So he flies off the handle and they fight. He roughs her up pretty bad because my uncle told us it didn't look good.

 ......So apparently they have a history of fighting but this time is just really bad so she leaves the house and calls the police. 

Meanwhile my aunt goes over there to get the baby because shit went left. My cousin leaves and the police show up and its just my aunt and the baby and a house full of bleach so they called CPS. Warrant issued for my cousin's arrest.

 

Fast Forward: 

So one of my cousins other side chicks says ... don't worry about anything, I got 5,000 cash to pay the bond and I can cover the legal fees. 

My cousin says Nah ... I dont ask my girl(s?) for money, my family will pay for it. 

So the side chick goes over to the other girl's house and fights her because she offered to pay his legal fees ... she gets her ass beat and then arrested. 

I'm like how do you keep starting these fights and getting your ass beat every time? Maybe stop trying to fight people?!

No excuse for my  cousin to put his hands on the girl either though.

But I'm just like .... bruh I dont know what "family" going to pay your legal fees. I can put like 10 bucks on your books for like 2 honey buns and some toilet paper if you go to jail for real.  

These crimes against fish need to stop. 

......

I need to realize I don't like tea as much as I pretend to...

I wanna laugh, but.....this is all too real for me

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59 minutes ago, Kudasai said:

LMAO, I think you're being a little too generous with that offer.

I can do 10 bucks. I have no idea what the going rate of commissary snacks are in prison 

  ...... does everybody experience that point where you become an adult and find out all the tea in the family and now shit starts making sense that you were totally oblivious to before?!

A younger me would've been like .... no way, my people dont pull stuff like this

But adult me has experienced my grandpa forget who the fuck he was talking to and told me and my sister that while he was working as a truck driver (probably without proper credentials now that I think about it) he ran into a woman in the grocery store that asked him if he could spare some change to get her kids some food and he was like .... okay sure. I''ll get you some groceries for the week and I'll give you a ride home. 

so I'm like ... okay cool .... Reverend grandpa bragging about his good deeds. 

Top 30 Happy Listening GIFs | Find the best GIF on Gfycat

except he goes on to say he did exactly that and was helping the lady unload the groceries and the lady was like .... thank you so much for your help because I only have 2 dollars in the bank. 

and he says .... what you talking about, your bank looks full to me

...what? 

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So he tells the lady that her vagina is her bank and she is going to pay him

now .... I want you to understand that he told us .... the lady said no but he got his payment anyway. 

 

so this is one of these stories of several that have come out ... also he will go into graphic detail unless you just say fuck it and leave. So much stuff has come out since my grandma died and now I'm only respectful to him as a sign of respect to my mom but if he asks me for something ...

 

Best reaction GIFs from Rupaul's Drag Race - Album on Imgur

 

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On 1/28/2022 at 2:16 PM, André Toulon said:

......

I need to realize I don't like tea as much as I pretend to...

I wanna laugh, but.....this is all too real for me

I can't even post most of my family tea. Like the most innocuous one I can think of is now everybody knows so-and-so's grandchild heavy into drugs because some shit went down with his dealer that pissed off dude so bad he targeted that relative's house(the grandchild lived with her) during the time of a wake for a drive-by(since grandchild's ass was gonna be there).

Luckily, my dad rarely visits his hometown so last minute they turned the depressing ride back to the house into 'When's the last time you've seen this?' kind of ride and got to the now swiss cheese house much later than expected.

Indiana be too fucking much. *Still remembers trying to order a pizza at my grandma's old apartments*

Me: pizza sho would be nice!

Grandma: <.< >.> They uh...probably don't deliver to these apartments.

My mom: You can call and check, but I doubt they'll deliver here.

Me: It could have changed over the years, you never know! *dials pizza place* Hey, do you deliver to this apartment complex?

Pizza place: *Loud laughter*

Me: So you don't deliver to these apartments?

Pizza place: Apartments? *more laughter* We don't deliver down any of those STREETS! *hangs up*

Me: 😭

My mom: We told you so.

 

And now I'm thinking about how I gotta fool with online side hustles for food expenses because a bunch of my yearly bills comes out during this time.

Edited by DragonSinger
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4 hours ago, Sawdamizer said:

Cocomelon is a realm of hell I didn’t know existed.

You are in control, you can turn it off. 

I only dealt with that shit in small doses when it was only on youtube. I turned it off after like 2 minutes because I couldn't take it. If you wanna jam to that shit, you have to do it with your grandma. 

Baby Shark though, I can jam to that. I used to make the kids dance to it when I was doing group therapy. They were all like ... oh mah god this is lame ... then once it gets going everybody's into it. 

 

 

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20 minutes ago, Vamped said:

You are in control, you can turn it off. 

I only dealt with that shit in small doses when it was only on youtube. I turned it off after like 2 minutes because I couldn't take it. If you wanna jam to that shit, you have to do it with your grandma. 

Baby Shark though, I can jam to that. I used to make the kids dance to it when I was doing group therapy. They were all like ... oh mah god this is lame ... then once it gets going everybody's into it. 

 

 

I’m in control of nothing

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20 minutes ago, Vamped said:

You are in control, you can turn it off. 

I only dealt with that shit in small doses when it was only on youtube. I turned it off after like 2 minutes because I couldn't take it. If you wanna jam to that shit, you have to do it with your grandma. 

Baby Shark though, I can jam to that. I used to make the kids dance to it when I was doing group therapy. They were all like ... oh mah god this is lame ... then once it gets going everybody's into it. 

 

 

I'm still laughing at an Abbott Elementary joke that said Baby Shark was like Back That Thang Up for little kids.

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How this one porn girl who used extreme length toys on the regular like 18+ inch was getting a colonoscopy and the doctor was like “You have an unusually straight colon” so I guess under certain circumstances beyond any human’s ability the guts can be rearranged ALITTLE

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I'mma need Kelly Clarkson's ex(currently trying to get him more coins and property in court) to jump into a volcano because my morning routine of chilling after my mom leaves out with the living room tv left on morning shows is getting killed by Jay Leno subbing for Clarkson. How the fuck did he become even less funny? HOW?

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52 minutes ago, Vamped said:

The fuck did I get back on Twitter for XD

 

Screenshot_20220202-194914_Twitter.jpg

Them accounts are always waiting for their chance.

I had no idea Ken Jeong was actually a doctor. I thought folks were just making jokes about his cancelled medical show! That does make it look worse that he's on a show with Jenny McCarthy. But yeah, politicians and other dickheads are why I don't watch Dancing with the Stars or Masked Singer. 

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