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Haters/Complainers: Legacy of Spleen


mthor

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  • 3 weeks later...

Why?

Why did you throw away the recliner? It had sagged so perfectly to the point where I didn't have to jump up to get on the foot stool portion. It still had spots that weren't covered in my fur. Sometimes it would spit out fun little bits of metal for me to chase around the room and then leave somewhere where you would step on them. That was fun. So what if I had managed to dig my way into the back and pee in there. That I would take so much time out of my very busy schedule of sleeping, sleeping, eating, pooping, and guarding the apartment from horrible outside animals [by sleeping in the window] should have told you how much I valued that cushioned secret toilet. I thought you'd realize your mistake when I jumped on it as you dragged it out of the apartment but you kept going and now it's gone. The pillow that was on there is now on the floor and I can't even anymore. 

I think I'll poop on the carpet tonight after you fall asleep. That'll learn you. >:(

dictated not read

rak-rak the bitchcakes kitty

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i think i have my first age spot. fuck, i didn't think i was that old. it's kinda hard to tell because i'm already about 90% freckles, but i'm pretty sure this is more than just a freckle.

maybe it's just a melanoma. i honestly might feel better about it being that.

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I had three sets of real teeth over the course of my lifetime. 

I can regrow tumors. 

I'm ready for a second heart to kick in and start pulling it's weight.

Any day now. 

The one that is currently in the cockpit tends to fall asleep on the job a little too much lately. It's like a professor with tenure that thinks it has job security or something. 

Too long; didn't read - I need someone to open a Gatorade for me. Bring some Gatorade too. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Why? Again?

Why you do this? That is not my litter box. It is a weird box that you put the old hood on to try and trick me. It doesn't have me smell. My box is over there. It is not in the right place and it's all exposed. I don't like that. You think giving me a choice will make me change my own mind. That is not how this works. I poop in the sandy things and you scoop. I poop in my litter box and demand that you scoop it immediately because the sight of concentrated evil offends me. We've had this schedule going for almost 10 years now and it's been pretty good for me. I've even mastered the art of standing on my hindlegs to launch evil directly into that box when necessary. I've recreated the surface of Mars in there.

And now you want to change all that? I don't care if it's suppose to be easier and quicker to clean. That's on you. My job is to poop in there and that is not the home bowl I'm used to. 

I touched the things in there and they were too big for me to pick up between my toes and transport to your bed. You think that's funny? Funny is watching you make it hail every night trying to get all the sands out of the bed before going to sleep at night. This isn't funny. You are pushing the limits of my kitty autism and I'd tell on you to the news peoples if I could reach the phone. And dial.

This calls for a litter box strike. I vow to not use that thing and not use the old one until it's back in it's rightful spot.

At least until I can barely walk. Then I'm going to leave you a present on the carpet. Again.

Dictated not read

Rak-rak the poop-striking bitchcakes kitty

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Things being discontinued completely in the mini dollhouse world :

- landline phones

- cameras with little films

- metal muffin tins

I remember all those things as being big novelties once upon a time [ok, maybe not the muffin pan since those have been around since 'Little House on the Prairie' days] . Now they are so obsolete that you won't even be able to get them for your mini dollhouse builds. 

I haz a sad at being old. 

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there's always one fuck-up in any project i take on at the bank. always one thing that delays a launch significantly, or breaks a particular piece of hw/sw or something. i was sure i finally had my first 100% fuck-up-free project the other day with a new ATM bring-live. everything went well with the old ATM removal, rigging in the new ATM, and all the network setup. we got thru the config on the new machine in about 20 minutes, and the network pushed down a load with no issues. *pop*, the ATM was live. amazing.

i went out front to test it out. balance inquiry worked. balance transfer worked. cash withdrawal...failed. i heard the bills get pulled from the cassettes and get dropped into the dispenser...and nothing. so we checked our config and tried again. still nothing. bills get 1/2" from the customer's hand, but the dispenser sits quietly for a few seconds before pulling the bills back in and sending them to the reject bin. no explanation. so we called the manufacturer for support. after a good hour on the phone going through settings and testing this and that, some genius over there at hyosung usa asks for software package versions. and can you fucking believe it, there's a package installed on this machine -- by the god damned manufacturer -- that causes a communication issue between the card reader and the dispenser. their own fucking hardware. doesn't fucking work. because of their own fucking software. and they sent this brick out into the wild.

it took me almost two weeks to get a new bundle of software to reinstall this machine back up from scratch. yeah, there's not a patch that can fix this. we have to wipe the entire core and reinstall every single package from scratch, then re-config and hope we got it all exactly right. five fucking discs worth of data, that is all supposed to be loaded and tested before it ever gets out of their warehouse. tomorrow is gonna be one of those days when i have to decide just how much i want to keep working this job.

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On 6/26/2018 at 7:05 PM, Gruach said:

Why does grass have to grow? And why do I feel compelled to mow it all at once?

why does my yard feel like there is as many vines as blades of grass? growing up bushes/plants and also stand-alone vine sprouts in the middle of the yard

my serious honest guess is that it all shares a singular root system

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On 6/29/2018 at 6:10 PM, Adminderaptorpat said:

why does my yard feel like there is as many vines as blades of grass? growing up bushes/plants and also stand-alone vine sprouts in the middle of the yard

my serious honest guess is that it all shares a singular root system

whelp

can confirm

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Why can't I get any decent tuna?  Starkist, Chicken of the Sea, Bumblebee, they all look like cat food, even the "solid" albacore.  Polar was great, though a bit more expensive, but within 3 months of my discovering it, my grocery discontinued it.  I soldiered on with Bumblebee crap for a long time until I discovered Geisha (again a bit more $$), and even better, could order a case online from them and have it brought to my door instead of lugging home cans in my bag lady cart, and it was less expensive without the grocery markup.  Win-win! 

I went to order another case a couple days ago (the last one was about 18 months ago), only to discover that for some arcane reason, they no longer ship to CA, AK or HI.  I can see AK and HI, since they get screwed over on shipping all the time, being out in the boonies, but for pete's sake, CA is where the company was founded!  It doesn't cost them more to ship here than to OR or AZ or NV.  What the fuck?!

I was pissed off enough to write and ask them, and they gave me the "due to company policy" line and told me I could go buy it at the grocery, but none that are close to me carry it, and their track records of special ordering crap is crappy.

On the bright side, or at least the less dim side, I found out I can also order Polar online, but the same amount of tuna will cost me $40 more than Geisha would've.  I think Polar is better, but not $40 better and it's just frustrating that they cut me off.  I'm betting it has something to do with Prop 65 labeling, and they don't want to sort it out at the shipping center.  It still sucks.

I'm just tired of everything I like getting discontinued.  I guess it's the universe's way of telling me I'm next.

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wifey lost her edge. i got a text from ticketmaster that there were some additional radiohead tickets released for tonight's show in chicago. decent location too, for $99 each. twenty years ago, she would have george-carlin-in-jay-and-silent-bob hitched her way there if that's what it took. this morning, she thought about it for a few seconds and said "we can't swing that one."

but we could have. when did she become more responsible than me?

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  • 2 weeks later...

If I get another damn call from 'Americans for Prosperity [for the right to be white and male, sieg heil! ] I'm going to nuke their bug nests from space. 

If you start smelling burning 'Kock' , they pushed my buttons. :|

I get a dozen hang-ups a day while at work and the machine kicks in and currently have had 3 calls in the past hour and a half. 

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Bitchcakes peed on my kitty slippers during the Litterbox Wars. I was going to replace them at some point because they were dirty and flat but still.

And now she ran away with the spa slippers I was using in the meantime. One of them is missing completely. The other one she is stretched out on top of, snoring away.

She is waiting for me to walk into the kitchen in my barefeet and step on her damn precious sands she blasted out of the box.

Brat. :|

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i made plans to take the family to the zoo in stl this weekend. it was gonna be me, wifey, our two offspring and my oldest boy from the previous thing, plus some of the in-laws. it took me all week to get everything scheduled and booked, and to get everyone on the same page. we rarely take off like this because we have to work around a lot of other people's schedules, find someone trustworthy to handle the cash at the bar, take care of the animals, etc etc. anyways, i got everything figured out and we were all set to go. so when i picked the oldest up yesterday from his step-dad, i was informed that he "probably has strep" because his half-sisters both have it. no heads-up, no visit to the doctor or medicine to fix it. just "here's your kid. he's contagious. have a good weekend!"

sure enough, he dropped a big 102 fever last night. so i asked his mom if i could bring him back since we had big weekend plans she was already taking care of 2 strep kids, and we'd make up the time another weekend. her response was "no, we already have plans." with 2 sick children? "they're none of your concern." and you couldn't have had the third treated at the same time? "he wasn't sick." so then why is he telling me you've been fighting his fever with tylenol all day? "he's your responsibility. it's called being a parent." O.o

BITCH, i have my two kids 24/7 and my third as often as i can. you ship all 3 of your kids, from 3 different dads btw, every damn weekend so you can ride bitch on your next victim's bike all over the countryside and get shitfaced. i know this because people feel it necessary to let me know when they see you out "being a parent" in every bar from here to the state capitol. please don't wrap that bike around someone's rear bumper this weekend. 

so anyways, back to this trip i had planned. it was too late to cancel the hotel rooms (i could have cancelled, but i would have had to pay full price anyways so fuck that), so i talked wifey's mom into taking my place. i sent everyone off this morning, and i'm staying home with the sick one all weekend because i can't have him around everyone if he's fighting strep. and now i'm sitting here, bored out of my fucking skull while i'm getting snaps every 10 minutes from the rest of the family, off on their weekend adventure that i planned and paid for.

that's what being a fucking parent entails, you spoiled, ungrateful cunt. i'm really not opposed to hiring a hitman at this point. no one would mourn you, except maybe your kids, and that would pass in a day or two once they realized how much better off they were.

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Our county high people have lost their damn minds. For the last week they've had equipment out putting dirt on paved county roads. But not like dirt road gravel type stuff. Actual dirt. That they just dug out of a field. Still had grass in it. And they're putting it in random quarter mile stretches. They aren't even filling up potholes. They're just putting down dirt that is immediately blown to the sides of the road with traffic and leaving behind huge chunks of rock in the middle of said roads. It literally looks like a bunch of little kids just pushing dirt around to look like they're busy.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Normally, I don't post in this sub-forum or this thread mostly because none of the topics or rants resonate with me. However, I feel the following video will resonate with some of the men and women from this community.

Without a doubt, it most definitely resonates with yours truly. Even though Rob was still a teenager when making this video 3 years ago, he was wise beyond his years.

Anyway, continue to carry on without me.

Edited by PurgatoryGirl
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fucking hop merchant caterpillars. i've been knocked out with a stomach bug for three god damn days, and hop merchants ate off my entire hop plant, leaves, hop cones, and all. i went out today, thinking it was time to harvest since i was feeling up to it. nothing left to harvest. 

an entire summer spent tending to these fucking plants, and nothing. fuck. ass.

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Need to get online this morning to check-in for tomorrow's flight. It's a thing with me, the sooner I'm all check-in, the sooner I can relax about it. 

Keyboard isn't responding. Try restarting the computer itself incase its something being slow and stupid but nope. Swear I tried the plug in a different port but still no keyboard. No lights, no response. Didn't sleep well, stressed out already just because so...

punched the keyboard and splattered the living room with it's stupid non-working pieces. :|

Picked up a new keyboard on the way home. Plugged it in. Doesn't work. Have the actual time to go through every little thing point by point because this is a new keyboard. Turns out the splice hub thingie is dead. The keyboard was probably still good up until I taught it not to piss me off. -.-;

I need a nap.

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We sat for nearly four hours in the sun, in a dirty back yard, at shitty party, where we didn't know anyone. I looked forward to one thing, and that was it. You wanted to fuck that up, and you're mad for me being mad about that?

Maybe we should have left when i said to. I know you wanted to wait for them to open presents, but that wasn't going to be for fucking ever. We didn't have to sit around waiting for the pace of this bullshit party to approach a fraction of what would be reasonable. If we had left when i suggested it, we'd all be a lot happier. 

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