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PokeNirvash

Trunks Thread 19.1: A New New Frontier

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Posted (edited)

Say what you will about them, but I love it when Toonami/[as] puts out an original anime. No matter how little they advertise it before the big event.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #1 - Memories - TV-MAS
12:30 - Fena: Pirate Princess #2 - An Inherited Journey - TV-14V

1:00 - My Hero Academia #103 - One Thing at a Time - TV-14

1:30 - Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #7 - Meeting Through an Apple - TV-14L
2:00 - Black Clover #161 - Zenon's Power - TV-PGV
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #353 - Orochimaru's Test Subjects - TV-PGL
3:00 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #14 - Savagery - TV-MA
3:30 - Dragon Ball Super #127 - The Approaching Wall! A Hopeful Final Barrier! - TV-14L

Seriously, it's strange that Fena hasn't had any TV promotion past last year's teaser, it's all been online only.

Edited by PokeNirvash

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Tonight's theme is pirates, apparently.

Fena- Quit blowin' holes in me ship! I'm already loving that hot eyepatch lady.Howdy, whores. Ohhh, that's gross. I love this dog. I like Angie for obvious reasons. Being broke sucks. I like Fena, she's spunky. Well, it's worth a shot when the alternative is getting fucked by some rich creep. Whelp, this plan's gone awry. HEY KOOL-AID MAN! Aww, they came to save her. The pervert is angry. Shit they can't tell directions. Good luck, fat guy. Goddammit just let the girl lead. Good luck, old guy. This is just my whoresona. Oh he's cute. Whelp, grandpa tried. I'm not entirely sure these guys are on our side. This could be going better. I don't like where this is going. I'm rooting for whoever this is. I hope this is her childhood boyfriend. We're all just looking for a decent man who's not evil. Well this would have been a heartfelt reunion. "Remember the good old days when you'd hit me with a stick?"

Good doggy. Oh good, they took the puppy with them. Fuck yeah, pirate dog! Well, that's different. All ashore to the creepy magic island. Welcome to fantasy Japan. Quick question, why the hell are we here? Protect this fancy chunk of glass with your life. Hold it up to the light and see what happens. Here, have a new friend. HAMMER. That is a sweet bow. Hello there, attractive shirtless guy. She is adorable. Calm your shit, Chip and Dale. Where's your glasses, Jin? Yukimaru is hot, date him. Oh, haircut. You have their bow and their axe. Oooh fancy boat. Aww, the old dudes can't go. Correction, fancy SUBMARINE pirates. Chalk another one up on the concussion counter. I hope her whore friend's okay.

Hero- Date me, Hawks. It's probably not a good thing that the League of Villains is here too. The kids love Hawks. Well that sounds ominous. This is great because I'd happily listen to Seitz read a phone book. Burnin' is my wife. Tokoyami is a good boy. FUCK YEAH BOTH HARDBOYS ARE WITH FATGUM. I'd also like to be under Endeavor if he's offering. "I blow up my own limbs." Oh no, you've activated his analysis power. Meanwhile Bakugo being his usual angry little bastard self. Shoto is a good boy. It's okay to hate your garbage dad, I love him enough for both of us. He's a surprisingly good teacher for such a terrible person. Bakugo he's been doing this since before you were born. Would I throw myself in front of a truck to get Endeavor to rescue me? Absolutely yes, I can't even deny that. I'm gonna fuck your dad, Shoto.

Yashahime- It's nice to see that Kohaku actually grew up to be good at his job. Here, have another pirate ship tonight. You can't fool me Crispin I know it's you. I could go for a burger. You kinda suck, Towa. Kaede's too old for this shit. He's suspicious, stab him. How do you go the wrong way, you just look at the fucking mountain and walk towards it. He's a water bender. Boy you sound like a shitty pirate. Remember Kagome giving absolutely zero shits about leaving things in the past? It's a trap, you fucking idiot. Oh, this was back from the first episode. Goddammit Kagome. I hate you, girl Shippo. How many of these goddamn pears are there? Couldn't you just try setting that bear on fire? Moroha continues to have absolutely zero competition for best girl. HOOT HOOT MOTHERFUCKER. Like fuck is Towa the most reliable at anything.

Clover- Swole Asta is still deeply, deeply disturbing. Just kill them all, evil dude. I fucking hate that fairy. Wow, what a coincidence that this guy just starts throwing insults at the old king without knowing he's fighting the lost prince who just learned about his family. I want them all to die. Who's this nerd? "We should use the dead elves' magic for the sake of our kingdom, who did actually kill them back in the day. It's what they'd want." Fuck off Yuno just let them all die. Jesus fucking christ Tink make up your mind, do you want girls paying attention to him or not giving a shit? Am I finally lucky enough to have someone die? Thank you, evil Hawks. He is officially the best character if they're actually dead. Cry harder, Tinkerhell. Goddammit of course I'm not that lucky. Goddammit Dimestore Griffith there were almost actual consequences to this! Half the squad died, but conveniently it was the half made up entirely of background characters who were never given any focus.

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Posted (edited)

Regular reminder that of all the people who have done heinous things in all of Attack on Titan, I want to kill the janitor that was racist to Zeke's family the most.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #3 - Bar-Baral - TV-MAS
12:30 - My Hero Academia #104 - Long Time No See, Selkie - TV-14

1:00 - Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #8 - The Dream Gazing Trap - TV-14
1:30 - Food Wars! The Fourth Plate #1 - That Which I Want to Protect - TV-MAS
2:00 - Black Clover #162 - The Great War Breaks Out - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #354 - Their Own Paths - TV-PG
3:00 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #15 - Sole Salvation - TV-14LV
3:30 - Dragon Ball Super #128 - To the Noble, Proud End! Vegeta Falls! - TV-14L

Edited by PokeNirvash

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Honestly that's fair.

Fena- I like the cute navy guy, how long before he dies? Helloooo hot eyepatch lady. Whales are awesome. I like the cute archer guy, how long before he dies? Chip and Dale here annoy me but I like the girl. He likes whores, I have a chance! Definitely go with the full suit of armor. Alright, I guess the cute outfit works too. I love this dog. Oooh shiny things. It's a rock. I need an adult. Holy shit a lighter! Oh hey, we get an actual clue. Aw hell it's that guy. I can get behind some fightin' wenches. I enjoy that nobody actually seems to like Yukimaru. I hope they teach this girl to fight soon. I hate these twins. Just pick her up and carry her like a sack of potatoes. Shit there's no floor here! He's gonna need a bandaid. I have no idea if this navy kid is a boy or a girl. Archer guy is my boyfriend. Aw hell, cute navy guy is evil. Helloooooooo hot eyepatch lady, again.

Hero- I'm gonna fuck your dad, Shoto. Meanwhile, tea party. Don't do drugs, kids. I love dragon waifu. Selkie is the best. Pocket sand! Gee I wonder who they'll team up with. I goddamn love Selkie. Here's your contractually-mandated beach episode. This is definitely the best use of everyone's time while they're supposed to be training for a villain war. Aww turtle. They murdered that turtle. I forgot Nejire can fly. Guys I think the giant dragon might be tracking you. Fog power seems like a really shitty quirk. Seal Punch! How did y'all miss a wholeass plane? Uraraka missile, go! Those Gunhead Martial Arts just keep paying off for her. Uraraka honey you can just float the crates. Good job girls. I'm disappointed we didn't get bikini dragon waifu. I'm sure that mysterious country isn't relevant to the movie at all. Hey look, an obvious tie-in for the movie.

Yashahime- I hate you, replacement Shippo. I can also be bribed with gummy bears. Oh, it's this asshole. Now there's seven of these magic rocks? HOOT HOOT MOTHERFUCKER. He just looks like a Pokemon ripoff. Towa is the worst of the girls. Joke's on you, she's dead inside. He would be horrified to look inside my mind. Hi, dream Miroku. Wait, replacement Shippo is a boy? Oh hey, Kagome and Inuyasha. Well that seems ominous. So are they dead or what. Fuck off, Kikyo tree. Hi, Sesshomaru's child bride. I feel like that was a suspiciously easy victory. This seems like a trap. Whelp, you're screwed. Her true form is definitely someone's fursona. She did the thing! Stab her in the face. Towa still goddamn sucks. Oh hey, she's actually doing something right. Here, have a bag of gold. This dude definitely isn't shady as fuck.

Food Wars- I don't care about any of these people. It's amazing how quick I forgot most of this arc. I hate every single one of you. I do vageuly respect this big guy who appears to not give as ingle fuck about any of this. I hate Rindo and the fact that everyone seems to love her just makes me hate her more.Green tea kit kats are pretty good. I don't even really remember whiich team most of these people are on. GATOR NO. At least that gator doesn't have to be in the show anymore. I hate how hungry this show makes me. Fuck off, Soma. Don't call him the winner, don't encourage his horse shit. That's a lot of peppers.  I've had gator nuggets before, they basically just taste like chicken nuggets. I have the spice tolerance of a five year old, my mouth is burning just seeing this shit.

Clover- Just when it looked like there'd be some actual stakes in this fight, everyone who even vaguely mattered was magically revived. Murder them all, evil Seitz. Charmy still best character. It's nice that they took all those border towns offscreen so I didn't have to bother watching it. Oh right, that's the demon that did all that shit. Somebody kinkshame that guy. I hate you, sister fucker. I forgot about the dimestore Addams family. Please kill sister fucker first. I am once again being seduced by Patrick Seitz. Just kill even one of them and you can have me as your bride. Goddammit cat! Dude I'm right here with my big boobs and eternal capacity for hatred you can exploit. Look with your special eyes. I would be the most powerful being in this world with the bottomless well of anger that fuels my soul. The cat's gone now kill them all. THANK YOU. Well I guess I'm obligated to marry him now. I miss you, twink Ryuk. I love seeing Asta suffer. This is doing this for me.

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First Gauche gets impaled, now Yami shows up? It truly is springtime for Black Clover on these boards.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #4 - The Mystery of the Stone - TV-PGDLV
12:30 - My Hero Academia #105 - The Hellish Todoroki Family - TV-14

1:00 - Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #9 - Meifuku, the Meioju - TV-14
1:30 - Food Wars! The Fourth Plate #2 - The Strobe Flashes - TV-MAS
2:00 - Black Clover #163 - Dante vs. The Captain of the Black Bulls - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #355 - The Targeted Sharingan - TV-PGV
3:00 - Attack on Titan: The Final Season #16 - Above and Below - TV-14LV
3:30 - Dragon Ball Super #129 - A Transcendent Limit Break! Autonomous Ultra Instinct Mastered! - TV-PGV

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4 hours ago, PokeNirvash said:

First Gauche gets impaled, now Yami shows up? It truly is springtime for Black Clover on these boards.

It's like this dumpster fire of a show is trying to win my approval after far too long.

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Note to Black Clover staff: Five minutes is not a satisfactory amount of time for Yami fighting.

Fena- Surely that ominous dream means nothing. I goddamn love that dog. Oh hey, Yukimaru actually shows some emotion besides smacking them on the head. Date me, archer dude. I'd also like to handle his weapon I mean, what. Yeah, an easy girly weapon like a GUN. He's a good dude. And then his friend died, I assume. I'm with Fena there, he's real hot. She's trying. "Just stab the other guy" is the kind of advice on my level. Sweet, free food. "It's a rock." Helloooo beautiful German woman. This lady is just going full Young Frankenstein with that accent. I hate Chip and Dale. Bang her for information. Archer is just acting as some kind of Fuck Sherpa here and I can appreciate it. In return for sharpening his knife, you can fuck his granddaughter. Well that's a twist alright. I don't know shit about history. Okay I didn't expect this direction for the story. If you're not gonna bang her at least give archer dude a chance at her. Hey there, shady hot navy dude.

Hero- I'm gonna fuck your dad, Shoto. Quick I need to stage a life-threatening emergency to get Endeavor's attention. Fuyumi is so pretty. Your suffering is delicious, garbage dilf. Everyone else in this family needs a hug. I honestly can't tell if full-bearded Endeavor is more or less attractive to me, further study is required. Natsuo is right and I respect him for not forgiving the dumpster fire of his dad. I promise I'm trying my hardest to kill him. Remember, any time Endeavor spends dating me is time that he's not traumatizing his family. Burnin is the best. It's almost unnerving that he's such a good teacher. Bakugo is a good friend. I'm gonna fuck your sister, Shoto. His shirt says FRONT and BACK and that cracks me up. Hey, keep your Food Wars out of my Hero Academia. I'm gonna fuck your brother, Shoto. Boy, this is awkward. Well this is depressing. Bakugo is suffering. I like having the main character look straight at the camera and say "It's fine if you don't forgive your abusive as shit parent." Oh no, this dead little bastard was adorable. His kids will never accept me as their new stepmom but I'm okay with that. Well that's not ominous at all.

Yashahime- Hello there, random child. Goddamn monkeys. Moroha, still undefeatable winner for best girl. Moroha just took that bounty, you dumbass. Wait when did they actually realize they're cousins? I'm glad at least that Discount Shippo doesn't tag along much. Okay now this demon kid is adorable. He's got a point, that is a nice view. Dance for it, girls. Towa is still the worst. Well that's new. Hey look, your dad's corpse. You asshole how dare you kill that guy and make his adorable kid sad. Nobody asked for you to be here, Myoga! Please help him avenge his father. Moroha no! No kid, Towa fucking sucks. Moroha you might wanna lay off the dramatic speech and just get to the makeup next time. I don't care what happens to Towa just don't hurt the little boy. Remember who you are, Simba. Can we take the kid with us?

Food Wars- I have leftover peanut butter frosting from a birthday cake I made and I cannot stop eating it, this seemed like the right time to announce that. I always wonder how much of this show is legit food knowledge vs complete made up horse shit. What in the hell did she just call him? Megumi in her natural state of panicked incompetence. I could go for some smoked pork right about now. Every time they pronounce his name as "Skasa" it annoys me more than other things in this show. This guy looks like an asshole and I hate him. I hate the mimic guy. I've never cared how cute my food was. I also that that announcer girl. Fuck off, Rindo. Yeah sure everybody is hungry and orgasming can we just move on. Lady you better get that pepper away from your vag right now. Suffer, all of you. I hope they cry.

Clover- I'm still obligated to marry Evil Seitz for stabbing the sister fucker. Kill them all. Wow they're really just making her Cinderella for her backstory. "It'll be sad and embarrassing just like you are" is exactly how I'd describe damn near everything in this show. Aw hell I don't like where this is going. GET OUT OF HERE, SISTER FUCKER. Please god just let him die for real. Oh my god girl you manage to have the worst standards in this entire fucking series. I hate everything! Goddammit Seitz you already have me and my hatred is the most powerful magic of all. Hi Yami. Fight for my love, boys. Man, if only this fight was in a better show. Dude I'm sitting here offering to marry you. This is doing things for me. Meanwhile, everyoen else sucks too. Oh great, the simp is here. Maybe I'll get lucky this time and they'll kill each other. I never get anything good in this show.

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Whoops, running late tonight.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #5 - Coordinates - TV-PGDV
12:30 - My Hero Academia #106 - The Unforgiven - TV-14

1:00 - Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #10 - The Gold and Silver Rainbow Pearls - TV-14LV
1:30 - Food Wars! The Fourth Plate #3 - Hopeful Solidarity - TV-MAS
2:00 - Black Clover #164 - Battlefield: Heart Kingdom - TV-14V
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #356 - A Shinobi of the Leaf - TV-PG
3:00 - Dr Stone: Stone Wars #1 - Stone Wars Beginning - TV-14LV
3:30 - Dragon Ball Super #130 - The Greatest Showdown of All Time! The Ultimate Survival Battle! - TV-14LV

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Doing some research as I wait outside divorce court to console a depressed Endeavor over the marriage he ruined:

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Fena- Is he a Disney princess now? Your brother's hotter than you. Goddamn witches. I hope Fena's hair grows out soon to look less like a choppy mess she cut in the dark. Shut up, twins. Oh hey, her hair looks better already. Oh hey, it's the whores again. Kinda rooting for eyepatch lady here. The nail extractor is his boot. Watch out for Balrogs in that mine. Get that skull off your face before you get cursed. I sure hope she's not accidentally leading us right into a death trap. I think Fena's possessed, y'all. No shit he's in love with her. The Fuck Sherpa knows. You just gotta say the right word in elf language and that thing'll pop open. Well that was easy. Sweet magic fire. More funky glass stuff. Well, that's new. Probably not a good idea to just wander off alone like that but go for it. Now time for some grave robbing. And then Fena got kidnapped because of course she did. Okay I guess we're after gold now. It's fine, they've only got a 25% chance of guessing the right direction. Oh yeah, there's definitely no way out of this place they're totally doomed. Fena it's time for you to learn how to punch some bitches in the tits. Mary's definitely gonna betray the other whores for archer's dick eventually, calling it now.

Hero- Natsuo's FRONT BACK shirt still cracks me the hell up. Mmm, tasty inferiority complex. Oh this guy is thirsty. Hey, we finally found somebody who's got an unhealthier obsession with Endeavor than I do! Well this is a depressing subject. I like Natsuo and I approve of him not forgiving his shit dad. The angriest tofu request. Well, that can't be good. :D I like the driver. Dude's really starting to infringe on my brand here. God what a fucking mood. Please save this cute sad boy. Aww, he's completely useless on saving his son because he cares. I have said way too many things way too similar to this guy's dialogue. FUCK YEAH, KIDS. HUGGING! :D Bakugo hates hugs. That's also how I feel when the ridiculously hot fire daddy doesn't just destroy me. Not now, Bakugo! The hell did you do to that dead kid? I like all the people just honking at them in the middle of the street. Natsuo is a good boy. I'm glad that he still doesn't forgive him. God this character development is delicious. That is a bizarrely specific power. I'm fully ready to have Garbage Dilf destroy us all. Please tell me he went with KING EXPLOSION MURDER. I love how Hawks being thirsty as fuck for Endeavor is just canon. Sooo when's your meeting with divorce court scheduled?

Yashahime- Aw shit we're in Alien now. I don't like this. I hate you, discount Shippo. Sweet, free steak! I prefer Dr Stone's version of silver and gold bros. Just let them kill each other and do your job for you. Surely this will end well. Moroha is still best girl. Maybe I'll luck out and they'll kill each other while they're brainwashed. Whelp, y'all done fucked up. Did they ever explain what the point of those rainbow pearls even is? Snake titties. Betrayed by the snake titties. Yeah sure this is some kind of emotional bonding moment between siblings, whatever. Setsuna who the FUCK do you think it was back then. How did you miss that your knife's on fire? Maybe a meteor will crash down and take them all out before Moroha gets there. Oh no, it's so sad that these random snakes dudes who I have no attachment to are suffering. And nothing of value was lost. Moroha is suffering.

Food Wars- I hate everyone. If Megumi wins I'm flipping a table. Who the fuck is Kuga. I've already lost track of what round this is and what their ingredients are. Don't worry I'm sure Soma will magically pull a win out of his ass with some random technique that nobody expects. I hope they all get food poisoning. Just break their hands with a lead pipe, that'll take 'em out. This catgirl is annoying. She's like three feet tall just beat her ass and take the IDs back. BUTTER. I hope Megumi loses and cries. Fucking hell could you give her an easier ingredient to make a good dessert out of? My trick for apple pie is to mix brown sugar and cinnamon into the crust so you get extra flavor in every bite.

Clover- How will this show leave me disappointed and unsatisfied tonight? Sister fucker somehow not dying is the biggest crock of shit. You don't need them I'm volunteering my hatred for your personal use! These two sniping at each other is definitely doing this for me. Again, just an untapped fountain of hate right here you can use to kill your enemies. I'm also trying to get Yami for my own personal use. I like this plan and I hope he succeeds. This show doesn't deserve Charmy. I'm definitely rooting for this evil hot bitch. That is one angry sheep. Nevermind, she's awful. I forgot she's some kind of weird gnome hybrid. Isn't this like, the second hot beauty-obsessed bitch that charmy's fought? Oh right, the worst fire sibling is here. Call yoru better siblings, kid. You suck, kid! If you lose this fight your sister is going to march into hell and murder you again. Oh what the hell is this. Noelle, still a massive bitch for no reason. Oh this guy's disgusting. Kill them, evil lady. Will we ever get more than three minutes of Yami fighting in an episode?

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Went to my first Oktoberfest today. It was super fun. One of the purchases was cajun alligator jerky. I thought of best girl Rindo while making that decision. Hopefully it was the correct thought.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #6 - Mutiny on the Blue Giant - TV-PGDLV
12:30 - My Hero Academia #107 - More of a Hero Than Anyone - TV-14V

1:00 - Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #11 - Curse of the Man-Eating Pond - TV-14L
1:30 - Food Wars! The Fourth Plate #4 - Aim for Victory! - TV-MAS
2:00 - Black Clover #165 - Water Crusade - TV-PGV
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #357 - An Uchiha ANBU - TV-PGV
2:55 - Iron Maiden: Stratego - TV-14V
3:00 - Dr Stone: Stone Wars #2 - Hot Line - TV-PGLV
3:30 - Dragon Ball Super #131 - A Miraculous Conclusion! Farewell Goku! Until We Meet Again! - TV-PGLV

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Fena- Is my boyfriend okay? Oh hey, maybe the hot navy dude isn't totally evil. So is he her long lost brother or not. Meanwhile, they're going to die in the cave. I'm totally fine with blowing up Chp and Dale here. So was that other guy watching the ship just doing nothing at all while Fena was being kidnapped? Dude you look just like that description. Well one of them is my boyfriend and that's all I need to know. Oh yeah this story is totes legit. Dammit boyfriend don't be an asshole. Wait this whole time we've just been after this fancy sword? You're a dick, navy dude. Goddammit boyfriend! Big deal she's a witch, my love gets men killed, we've all got some weird habits. Aww, he's actually likable in simp mode. I still can't tell if that navy kid is a boy or a girl. Well that sure sounds ominous. Sweet, they looted her. Oh, I guess he's a boy. You're twice his size just pick him up and move him. YEET. Are there literally no other guards on this military ship? Don't shoot my waifu. I'm surprised he didn't just shoot my waifu. Sooo you gonna explain anything, navy dude? Why do you have that.

Hero- Date me garbage dilf you've got so much room in your house now. Calm down Iida. The plushie! MINA KNOWS WHAT'S UP. It's exactly what she thinks don't lie to yourself. And then Deku died. :D God I love All Might. Hey look, it's time for someone else to have some emotional trauma. Hi Granpa. Hey there, fancy fog man. Ohhh this is gonna hurt me isn't it. Even baby-faced school kid Aizawa looks exhausted. Oh no, this kid was adorable. I'm already crying! Mic needs a hug. Mist guy didn't seem too concerned watching Aizawa get his face pounded in. This is depressing. He's right, playing babysitter for the crusty incel sounds like the worst fucking job. I'd like to get off this ride now please. Aizawa nees a hug right goddamn now. Oh no that's where he got his goggles. Oh hey, more students. Awwww he's secretly a sweetheart. THIS HURTS ME AND I DON'T LIKE IT. Even Aizawa is crying! He's not looking well. Booo, it didn't work. OH SHIT. For the love of god give these men a hug. I hope they can fix him one day. Oh no you get the hell out of here with yoru dramatic opera music. Console me, Hawks. Uhhh you okay there, Fuckhands? Fun story, the kitten's name is Sushi and Midnight adopted him after she graduated.

Yashahime- Fuck yeah, pancakes! Moroha is by far the best part of this show. That's not a normal pond. Oh hey Kohaku and Sango's kid whose name I'll never remember. Oh yeah this'll go well for you, random child. Nobody ever liked you, Myoga! I hate you, discount Shippo. Nobody knows what those words mean because you're hundreds of years in the past. Goddammit was the magic pond sage Kikyo. Kinda rooting for the snake monster here. Great job you made the annoying kids cry. To be fair, he probably shouldn't have sat around the evil murder pond. I'm with Moroha, cleaning sucks. That don't look like no snake to me. Fuck, miasma! Wow that's ugly. "The pond itself is also a demon!" is unreasonably funny to me. It's okay Moroha you tried. I don't know enough about demon genetics to refute this. Blah blah blah teamwork sibling bond whatever. I still don't know what the point of the magic eye pearls is. Careful there, Setsuna almost had a fraction of a personality for a second there.

Food Wars- I fucking hate Megumi. I want her to lose and cry. It's not just the catgirl loli, I also look down on Megumi. I have no memory of this guy. I can appreciate someone screaming at Megumi for her absolute incompetence. Okay "Quit relying on others you hillbilly trash!" genuinely made me smile. Meanwhile if anyone enters the kitchen while I'm cooking I fly into an unstoppable rage until they leave. Fuck,, miasma! Bitch host broke. I'm definitely rooting for catgirl loli here. Suck and fail, Megumi. Oh come on. This is bullshit.

Clover- Date me, evil Seitz. The fact that none of these dimwits has died is a fucking tragedy. The spy is totally not right there. I feel like I'm also going to hate this guy. I'm rooting for the eviil eyepatch girl. That tongue guy makes me real uncomfortable. Thank you, eyepatch lesbian. I need an adult. Somebody on the good side die here please. That guy's simp magic cannot be stopped. I hate all of you. Fuck yeah, end the world and kill them all. Why did her tits get bigger when she went into mermaid form? Kill them, crazy eyepatch lady. You think she remembers everyone she killed, you dumbass? Noelle, still the fucking worst. I don't care, show. Well after that flashback she's definitely going to die for her friends. At least this nutjob's having fun. Oh right, bird girl's here. I like that nobody gives a shit what bird girl's name really is. Yeah I'm sure this'll go off without a hitch.

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10 hours ago, EmpressAngel said:

Fun story, the kitten's name is Sushi and Midnight adopted him after she graduated.

SHE'S A CAT PERSON I LOVE HER EVEN MORE NOW. 😍

On the flip side, I hated that damn doctor ever since he told Deku he was quirkless all the way back in episode 1, and it pleases me that he was a villain this whole time.

Edited by PokeNirvash

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Those of us who care (that is, none of us here) really should've seen this one coming.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #7 - The Burning Sea - TV-14DLV
12:30 - My Hero Academia #108 - My Villain Academia - TV-14V

1:00 - Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #12 - Night of the New Moon and the Black-Haired Towa - TV-14LV
1:30 - Food Wars! The Fourth Plate #5 - You're Done For, Fool - TV-MAS
2:00 - Black Clover #166 - Captain: Yami Sukehiro - TV-PGV
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #358 - Coup d'Etat - TV-14V
3:00 - Dr Stone: Stone Wars #3 - Call From the Dead - TV-14LV
3:30 - Dragon Ball Super #27 - The Earth Explodes?! A Decisive Kamehameha! - TV-14LV

[kyoretsu mouretsu dynamic let's go...]

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Fena- I constantly forget that the other boy who's not Chip or Dale exists. Everyone's sneaking out. We're gonna have to throw archer boyfriend overboard. I'm guessing he started the archery thing to get laid. FRIENDSHIP. Oh good, he's gonna be less of a dick now. I was half-expecting her mom to secretly be Joan of Arc. Are you her brother or not you handsome, shady fuck? Strike that, did you fuck her mom? Man I really hope he's not secretly her birth father or something. I do not think this will go well for the wenches. That's a big cannon. Stop blowin' holes in me ship! Wow, shocking how her plan of "get pissed off and charge head-first at the heavily armed navy boat" didn't go well. Oh thank god, that's just some other dead lady and not the one he likes. He learned how to control his fear but gave up a solid 90% of his personality in exchange. Time for some PTSD. Fena broke. Say his name three times and he just pops out of the ocean like some kind of samurai Beetlejuice. Not my fault this time. Archer boyfriend, not being a dick! I sure hope one of you is a secret pirate doctor.

Hero- Fun story, the anime left out a scene where the League of Villains beats the shit out of the anti-mutant KKK and stole their hideout. Everyone's disappointed in Fuckhands. I don't trust that doctor. Aw hell am I gonna feel sorry for the crusty incel by the end of this? Yeah Shigaraki sucks but really, the poor kid never had a chance. OH NO THERE WAS A DOG. You edgy son of a bitch. It's actually kind of nice that his friends get a free pass to do what they want. Johnny's looking rough. I like that Toga's totally fine with murder but draws the line at shoplifting a coat. Whelp, sucks for this guy. It's fine, fingers grow back. Helloooo blue waifu. Twice is a good boy. I refuse to fear some crusty bastard who uses game lingo in everyday talk. That's a genuinely good plan and I'm surprised he thought of it.

Yashahime- Oh what the hell now. Dance for it, hideous stripper demon. Kirara deserves a better series. Reminder that Towa sucks. It's okay Moroha honey you tried. Isn't one of them supposed to have immunity to poison mist or something? Just die already! Go with the endless bounty. Oh right, half-demon moon thing. Go away Myoga! So does Moroha not have enough demon blood to transform? Wait what the hell do you mean it didn't happen in the other world? That doesn't make any sense! It's the same world just the future, it's the same goddamn moon! Why doesn't Setsuna go into human mode? Oh good, the randos are here with their catapults. When in doubt, set shit on fire. Why didn't they just put the magic tags inside the cave? And now they're statues. That bullshit magic butterfly stealing her dreams absolutely does not explain why she doesn't go into human mode. That sure was a quick night. Moroha's never gonna get her money.

Food Wars- I fucking hate you, Megumi. FUCK YEAH, SHE LOST. Your character is bad and you should feel bad! Everyone stop praising her, she lost. Yes, cry over your failure. I could go for some pizza. "Loook at his incrediblly thick meat" is definitely a sentence I've said at least once before. This guy still sounds like a nerd who gets shoved in a locker. Megumi already lost, I don't care what happens to the rest of these schmucks. I feel like the judges should understand how that works and take that into account. Could these fuckers not just eat some crackers until the taste wears off? Or just throw in some stupid one-upping bullshit like always, that works too I guess. It's true, the more cheese to slap on that pizza the better.

Clover- Wow, who'd have guessed that wouldn't work. I hope the demons win and murder everyone. RIP big titty sea witch lesbian. You can just go ahead and kill Noelle. I hate Fetish Gluttony the most here. You suck, Noelle. Goddammit she did something. Meanwhile, a fight I actually give two shits about. Just whip your dicks out and measure them already. Yami, still giving absolutely zero shits. Fight for my love, boys. Ohhhh Yami's pissed and I'm into this. RIP evil Seitz, you were a real one. I think he's even hornier for this than I am. Hey, I can't kill this one! Oh, I can't fuck that. Asta, sucking and failing. Use Asta as a meatshield.

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Toga! Toga! Toga!

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #8 - A Knight's Vow - TV-PGV
12:30 - My Hero Academia #109 - Revival Party - TV-14V

1:00 - Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #13 - The Delicious Feudal Monks - TV-14
1:30 - Food Wars! The Fourth Plate #6 - A Single Blade - TV-MAS
2:00 - Black Clover #167 - Black Oath - TV-PGLV
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #359 - The Night of the Tragedy - TV-PG
3:00 - Dr Stone: Stone Wars #4 - Full Assault - TV-14LV
3:30 - Dragon Ball Super #28 - The 6th Universe's Destroyer! His Name is Champa! - TV-14L

[two thousand]

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I GET IT.

Fena- At least this one isn't my fault. Maybe they'll luck out and Fena really is a witch. It's okay boyfriend, if he dies I'll console you. This crew could sure use an adorable reindeer pirate doctor. He's safe but now has a crippling nicotine addiction. Aw hell he's still a dick. Wait I only have to bring men to their downfall to count as a witch? He will never love me because I doom men with my love. Y'know what I kinda hope I get him killed now. Yeah sure grab the reject bows you edgy emo jackass. DOG. I dunno about that Fena, he kinda turned out to be a real bastard. She has a point, she's not competent enough to be a witch. That was a fast change of heart. Yukimaru is cute but very bland. Awww there she is. Don't worry, he's out banging whores. We all dream of living the One Piece life. Just make out already. I was put on this earth to simp for cartoon dudes. I think that means you're married now. Close enough! Oh she thirsty. Meanwhile, this asshole.

Hero- Well that's a cheerful opener. Fuckhands had a single good idea for once in his life. I hate you, Slide n' Go. This guy looks like some alternate version of Aizawa who has his life together and I don't like it. Fucking gamer bro. Hellooooo blue waifu. Giran's having a rough day. The League kinda sucks, guys. Stabby time. Killer Queen has no weaknesses. Jesus christ the blood is a bomb! So hey lady that's all good but are you single. Oh that's gross. Little Toga was an adorable little monster. No, trying to drink a dead bird was not completely normal and they shouldn't accept it. Bomb to the face. Toga's having a bad time. Well that's new. I'm kinda rooting for her here. RIP waifu. You okay there, Fuckhands? Oh that can't be good. Look I'm not proud of myself but I am above all else a fire simp and Dabi's right there. Is that a blue eyes white dragon? Uh guys where's Twice? Twice is a good boy. Oh, that's fucked up.

Yashahime- The hell is that, a Thundercat? Eww, this monk is stale. Is the rainbow pearl just a fancy magic 8 ball? Why are you surprised, don't most demons eat humans? Oh hey, Miroku's still aive! Oh hey, Sango's still alive! So are they divorced or what. Miroku looks weird without his normal monk clothes. How did Miroku of all charactes become the most attractive person in this series. Hey Miroku, do you know where anbody's parents are? Betcha wish you'd kept the wind tunnel now. Oh thank god best girl is here now. Blah blah blah daddy issues. Shut the fuck up, Towa. I like that the animators didn't even bother making this thing's mouth move when he talks. Miroku, out! Ah, the ol' Naraku's Miasma Bug ploy. Just let it eat Towa. Oh whart the fuck. Uh, what was that sealing spell? I hate you, dimestore Shippo. Go home and fuck your hot wife, Miroku. Sango hasn't aged a day.

Food Wars- Just make cake with buttercream frosting. I hate that these dishes always sound so good. I hate all of you. No you were right, he is a piece of crap loser. It never occurred to me that squids have livers. I agree with the bystanders, butter has no place in sushi. I don't care about this schmuck's tragic backstory. Lady you could have just quit and gone back to your own restaurant. Oh wow, is Soma actually not being a total smug piece of shit for a change? Oh, false alarm he's still a smug jackass. "Kinda-sorta white sauce" sounds awful. GUN.

Clover- Are we done yet? Just take her, who gives a shit. Please kill Fetish Gluttony. Thank you, christ. And nothing of value was lost. I'm glad evil Seitz is having fun here. This demon is angry because he's stuck dealing with Asta of all people. I hope that thing takes over his vocal cords. Oh goddammit. Did he just regenerate a hand with a smaller hand on each finger? I'm just happy to see Yami actually getting more than two minutes of fight time in an episode. Kill them all, evil Seitz. THIS IS BULLSHIT. Okay yeah that one was definitely my fault but at least he doesn't have to be in Black Clover anymore. Not even a scratch on goddamn sister fucker. Just chop off his head to be safe. Hi there. This is also my fault. Please kill sister fucker again. I'm entirely okay with the world ending as long as these chucklefucks lose. I straight up cannot understand what that demon is saying. If Yami dies at least he doesn't have to deal with this shit anymore.

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Am I the only one who feels Toga's "I was always a creepy little troll even as a little kid" backstory was more than a little lazy on Horikoshi's part?

Never mind that, Twice time now.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #9 - Vice Versa - TV-14DV
12:30 - My Hero Academia #110 - Sad Man's Parade - TV-14V

1:00 - Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #14 - The One Behind the Forest Fire - TV-14V
1:30 - Food Wars! The Fourth Plate #7 - Two Queens - TV-MAS
2:00 - Black Clover #168 - Stirrings of the Strongest - TV-PG
2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #360 - Jonin Leader - TV-PG
3:00 - Dr Stone: Stone Wars #5 - Steam Gorilla - TV-PGLV
3:30 - Dragon Ball Super #29 - Combat Matches Are a Go! The Captain is Someone Stronger Than Goku - TV-PGL

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FUCK YEAH, TWICE.

Fena- How will archer boyfriend be a douchebag this week? Navy dude sucks and is creepy. I hate it when my 12-year old assistant interrupts my crying hour. This is some Rapunzel shit. This accent is aggressively French. Surely this will go well for them. Alright, which of these dudes knocked up her mom? "Sorry I fucked your dad." And then they went full Joan of Arc on her. So he's Fena's half-brother AND still creepy. Oh what's this little twerp up to? Y'all fuckin yet? Aww, she made him jelly donuts. Goddammit haven't you learned by now not to leave Fena alone? Look, a crumb of personality for him! IT'S A CLUE. Strike that, reverse it. It's gonna suck for y'all when you learn Eden's the afterlife or something. I don't know how to read map directions. Hey look, my boyfriend's not a douchebag for once. Surely this will go well for all of them.

Hero- Twice is a good boy and doesn't deserve this. Someone please hug him. I genuinely like Twice and want him to be happy. Owww his arms. He's still here! Great job dickbag you fixed him. Dang that's a lot of Twices. Eat shit, Skeptic. I like that even the sleazy blackmarket dealer supports Twice. What's your dick look like, you bbq'd sack of shit? I'm rooting for Twice in this fight and no one else. "I'm so cool." :D OH NO, ME'S! I goddamn love Twice. This is definitely a hate-fuck kinda thirst here for Dabi. Evil doctor's just having a good time with all this. Fucking gamers. Never trust a politician.  If you don't like Twice you're objectively wrong. Dude that's your own building you're destroying. I hope that wasn't his jackoff hand. This soundtrack is a real banger. Well that's a depressing story. Aw hell here comes the real Fuckhands. Maybe they'll kill each other.

Yashahime- Oh what the hell now. Is the show trying to make it a surprise that Sesshomaru fucked a 14-year old, because they're really failing at it. Why do they suddenly confused and frightened by the goddamn phone? Towa you can do like, two things with that phone in this era. The beautiful village girl looks like basically every minor character in this franchise. I hate you, dimestore Shippo. Oh I don't like where this is going. She's like 12! I'd like to get off this ride please. Thanks I hate it. Show that girl is like 14 leave her the fuck alone. "Is it an addiction? Like my smartphone?" Jesus fucking christ. "This evil demon's plot to fuck a middle schooler is just like you damn teens with your phones" has to be the worst take I've ever seen in anything. Kilala generates her own fire, she's fine. It's not a love affair it's literally some creep preying on a kid. Moroha, still zero competition for best girl. There goes our best girl and with her, any hope this episode had of being tolerable. Oh shit, has she been wearing Inuyasha's robe this whole time? I hate you all. Oh what the fuck. So Sesshomaru was just cool with his kids burning to death, that seems about right. This is 30 minutes of my life I'm never getting back. Goddammit girl get away from there! This isn't a breakup you clown, he literally kidnapped her. Everyone just leave that poor girl alone. THIS IS STUPID.

Food Wars- Fuck it, I'll take the Furious Rage hour over what I just watched. I can't even muster the energy to hate Megumi after that shitshow from Yashahime. So is Soma's hot dad gonna do anything in this fight or nah. I'm so tired, all of you insult yourselves for me. Oh yeah I'm sure this obnoxious catgirl is gonna beat Erina here. I hate you, catgirl. I'm pretty sure I ate a bag of brown sugar as a kid and barfed at least once. This backstory just makes me want to throw her down the stairs. Erina's dish looks infinitely better than the stupid-elaborate castle shit the catgirl made. Wow what a surprise Erina bitchslapped her down. Please don't make me watch the catgirl loli nut on camera. Stop praising Megumi, she goddamn sucks. I hate everything. Oh what the fuck.

Clover- I have no memory of this guy. Oh come on, this isn't even the first time his arms have been irrepably broken. You really don't have to heal the sister fucker. Don't question it doctor, it's not gonna make any more sense. This is stupid. Who the fuck is that? Yami is the only bright spot in this show but if he dies at least he's free from this dumpster fire. Beat his ass, dude I don't care about. It makes me happy when Asta gets sad and cries. Who the fuck are you? These dumb bastards have a vice captain? Alright hte little minion devil seems fun. Isn't it a little late in the story to be bringing him in now? Oh good, Jack the Ripper's here. I'm still rooting for them to destroy the world. Either fuck him or get over it already, lady. I hope most of you die. Literally nobody know who this guy is. Some shitty spy he is, nobody knew shit about what was going on. I'm willing to sacrifice Yami to kill everyone else in this story. Use Asta as your meat shield. Oh right, I forgot Yuno's a prince. STOP SCREAMING YOU DIPSHIT. I don't care, show. I hate Tink so much. If nobody dies on this rescue mission I'm flipping a table. Meanwhile, oh what the fuck is this?

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You know what's worse than two Black Clovers in one night? Having to wake up on your birthday to a phone call telling you the COVID test you took the previous day came back positive.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #10 - The Curtain Rises on the Climax - TV-PGLV
12:30 - My Hero Academia #111 - Tenko Shimura: Origin - TV-14V

1:00 - Yashahime: Princess Half-Demon #15 - Farewell Under the Lunar Eclipse - TV-14V
1:30 - Food Wars! The Fourth Plate #8 - Your Best Side - TV-MAS
2:00 - Black Clover #169 - The Devil-Binding Ritual - TV-14LV
2:30 - Black Clover #170 - The Faraway Future - TV-14LV
3:00 - Dr Stone: Stone Wars #6 - Prison Break - TV-14LV
3:30 - Dragon Ball Super #30 - A Run-Through for the Competition! Who Are the Last Two Members!? - TV-14L

This October really isn't going the way I want it to.

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Oh shit, that sounds awful. Here's hoping you get better soon.

Fena- Surely this will end well for everyone. I feel like this happened too fast. I hope that thing's on the back of a giant turtle like in that one Aladdin sequel. This island is really pretty. It's fine if Chip and Dale slip and plummet to their deaths. Are the lady pirates about to show up again and dynamite them in another cave? Oh hey, cool abandonded city. Y'all are basically engaged just hold hands already. Things are going too well, they're about to hit a catastrophe. Man I hope Cthulhu's not about to pop out of this weird abandoned city. Just make out already. The fuck sherpa is unimpressed. Meanwhile, navy douchebags. Oh hey, sweet door. I think you just opened the Chamber of Secrets. Did they just find the One Piece? Oh dang that's a lotta gold. Scrooge McDuck it! It's a magic time-traveling treasure vault. I hope my archer boyfriend's not about to walk into a trap and die. Fena's possessed again. I have no idea what these lyrics mean but this song's a bop. You ever get possessed by the spirit of Joan of Arc and driven to dancing a funny little ditty? Aw hell your weirdass half-brother's here. Now put your shoes back on and get on those stairs. Wait, what the hell is that?

Hero- Twice is a good boy. He's right, puberty is the worst. Damn gamer lizard. Him and La Brava probably could have been friends, with both of them being the weird shut-ins deciding to leave their rooms for a villain with a message they like. Oh he's real angry. Damn if stress ain't a relatable quirk. Owww his hand. Would you look at the time, we're overdue for a traumatic flashback. Oh no, his sister was adorable. This is gonna go just great. You okay there, Fuckhands? Dang look at this crusty motherfucker go. I got a bad feeling about these flashbacks. HEY, KOOL-AID MAN. Man it sucks that Nana's son grew up to be a total dickhead. Oh no, he was actually adorable back in the day. Awwww Nana's picture. Oh this isn't gonna go well. Wow, Endeavor finally has real competition for Worst Dad. :( Nana did her best. I never expected to feel sorry for Shigaraki and yet here we are. NO NOT THE DOG. Jesus fucking christ no wonder he ended up like that. Okay in his defense, his dad did deserve it.

Yashahime- Speaking of shitty dads, this show. Who the hell is that guy? I never thought I'd be so happy to see Inuyasha be stupid. How would you turn a regular human's tears into magic jewels? What is it with this family and just storing valuable items in their corneas? Fucking christ we're really doing this. So everybody's just cool with the fact that Sesshomaru knocked up the 14-year old that he helped raise. Nobody gives a shit about Riku, show! Yeah sure I'm just gonna assume this all makes sense. Oh hey, Jaken exists. Who the fuck is that lady? I'm not a fan of discount Kagura here. Sesshomaru, out. Goddamn Rin have some standards. Is that the snake lady they already fought a couple episodes ago? Oh good, Jaken is your mother now. Oh right, the comet or whatever. Oh hey, Sesshomaru actually did something in this show. This is some real Macbeth prophecy shit. Goddammit Crispin get a better show. Oh what the fuck. Oh hey, Koga. And then Sesshomaru tried to burn his kids to death, because sure why not.

Food Wars- Tonight's theme is shitty dads. Oh look, more hot bitches whose clothes will explode off at the drop of a hat. Have some standards, lady. I also pour my anger into the food I cook. Calm your thirst, woman. Thanks I hate it. "Calamari lingerie" is literally the worst phrase I've ever heard in my life. Oh yeah this isn't biased as fuck or anything. This is painful. Please just let that guy keep his pants on for once. If he's screwed either way, might as well swing for the fences. Oh look Playboy bunnies, how original. I don't care about these kids' emotional turmoil, show. Oh they fuckin.

Clover- I don't think I'm strong enough to survive a full hour of this shit. Alright what bullshit explanation are they gonna pull out for this. I could have sworn this elf bastard died. Did she rip the kid out of that lady's uterus? Oh sure, we just never felt the need to mention any of this. The giant sentient tree told them to come save you. Of course everyone just conveniently used their powers to survive the insurvivable explosions. Shut up, Noelle. Don't worry, there's always some super secret special ultimate technique you can learn! In his defense, I also hate the Black Bulls. I automatically hate this douchebag but I appreciate how he came in, told everyone they're garbage, and skipped out. Quick, file the serial numbers off of Ichigo fighting his inner hollow. So really, Asta hasn't done anything on his own and has just been mooching off this demon's power the whole time? He's here to take your dick this time. Did they go full Naruto and seal the devil in this bitch's newborn baby?

Let's point and laugh at this shitty demon that doesn't even have powers. This sure is a tragic backstory that I literally could not give less of a shit about. Oh she's annoying, she's definitely Asta's mom. I'm assuming she eventually fucked a deaf man and cursed the world with Asta's existence. Well that's new. I guess she destroyed Asta's magic on accident, and then by total coincidence dumped him on the exact same doorstep as Yuno on the same day. I'm sure this would be very emotional if I gave a shit about any of this. Honestly I'd probably pick the demon too if the alternative was raising Asta. STOP SCREAMING, BOTH OF YOU. How dare you use Yami's stuff while he's gone. We've heard this before, demon Eren. Yami deserved a better show. I don't remember most of these people on the screen. Congratulations you're still the shittiest demon. I'd rather just be forced into eternal servitude than be his friend. Now you have these shitty tattooed friendship bracelets. Look at all these people I don't care about. Oh, its that the shittier brother that nobody likes? THANK FUCKING GOD I'M FINALLY FREE. I'm crying real, actual tears of relief that I don't have to watch Black Clover anymore.

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At last, I've finally moved into my own place. (Partially.) The first thing for me to do with my brand spanking new Internet connection? The usual.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #11 - At Mission's End - TV-14LV
12:30 - Batman Ninja - TV-14LV
2:30 - Batman: Under the Red Hood - TV-14LV
4:15 - Rick & Morty: The Great Yokai Battle of Akihabara - TV-14LV

Happy Batday, Birthman.

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I shouldn't be up this late.

Fena- Oooh it's pretty up there. The what now? That one dude's gone crazy. And now they notice the main characters are gone. I sure hope that fancy sword can kill off a couple hundred marines on its own. RIP fat dude I don't remember at all. Whelp, navy douche is possessed. Oh, is it finally time for me to get this boyfriend killed? You could at least have the archer shoot at them from a distance instead of right in front of them. BOMB. Yes he's been an asshole for half the series but man, Shitan is pretty. Your sister's not gonna fuck you, just leave them alone. Okay what the hell is up with the navy kid. Aw hell here we go. Aim for the dick! Or his arm, that works too. This is what like the fourth time Yukimaru's been impaled by something? Oh this is not gonna end well. Well, that's different. Hi, hot ghost mom. Quick, stab him while he's distracted! Eat shit, Abel. You're not gonna get me to feel happy for him, show. Meanwhile, Yukimaru's still standing there with that massive chest wound. What the FUCK is this kid?

Batman Ninja- I have no idea what's going on but it sure looks cool as shit. CHAMPLOO MODE, GO. I'm sure the Joker Samurai will help you. Bruce they're wearing Joker masks you really have to guess who their boss is? I'm glad Joker's having a good time. Oh my god I hope sexy geisha Ivy shows up. God I'm gay for Catwoman. SHOW ME FEUDAL IVY RIGHT DAMN NOW. God I'm gay for Poison Ivy. Kagome never gave a shit about changing the timeline. ALFRED! Batmobile, motherfuckers! Please tell me the castle turns into a goddamn mecha. Oh hell yes. Bats this is obviously a trap. :D Holy shit Samurai Bane is cracking me up. Wow what a shock it was Harley the whole time. BATS. Oh hey, it's everybody else. Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na BATCLAN. Monkey! This is a date. Well you can't accuse the man of being subtle. Goddamn this fight is sick. Wow what a surprise the evil monkey is betraying us. Hey there, Two Face. And then everyone died. LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOO. Well this took a turn. Harley's probably just thrilled to be his wife. Aw shit there goes that laugh. :D Wait does he have actual goddamn feudal penguins as henchmen? Hellooooo Ivy. GODDAMN that armor is cool as fuck. This is just a delight to watch. Whelp everybody's possessed. Aw shit this was a Planet of the Apes plot all along. Surprise, monkey boy! This is some straight up Team Rocket shit. Oh shit we're going full MegaZord here. "Use my army of monkeys to defeat the Joker" is literally the greatest sentence I've ever heard. :D Oh my god the monkeys combined THIS IS NOT A DRILL. I want Catwoman and Fujiko to be friends. No not the monkeys! Oh right, the actual bat ninjas. I literally never want an explanation for the giant bat Batman amalgamation. I assume they sent the child to fight Ivy because he's too young to simp for her. Isn't that the flower from Promised Neverland? God I'm gay. BEAT HIS ASS, BATS. Joker's definitely getting off on this. Tonight's theme is the hero samurai getting stabbed in the chest. Oh hell yes. I love everything about this. 10/10 for giving me the same sense of pure childlike joy I felt watching the cartoon 25 years ago.

Red Hood- Oh shit is that Ras? You okay there, Robin? I, uh, I don't think Robin's okay. Aw shit of course there's a bomb. Oh yeah this is gonna go just great. I'm sure this guy in the mask isn't Robin back from the dead. Fuck this truck in particular. Hey look, robot demon. All I know about Nightwing is that he's got a great ass and everyone's horny for him. I wonder if Neil Patrick Harris owns stock in DC or something because I feel like he shows up in these things a lot. And then those dudes died. Oh hey, Joker lore. You'd think they'd eventually just give Joker a muzzle. Ohhh we found a sore spot there. Make sure you don't mention this guy's weird gross face. This totally isn't evil Robin, no sir. Wow, it's almost like he knows all of Batman's methods somehow. MY LEG. Sassy Alfred is the best. Oh shit he knows your secret identity, how could that be? Look at this adorable little bastard. Oh yeah dude this plan is gonna work out just perfect for you. And then that guy was on fire. Your lightsabers won't save you now! Batman time. Oh dang, I think Red Hood is actually the Robin who died. Alfred needs a hug. This secretary has absolutely no fear. I think you got his attention. This is clearly not some kind of ploy. Aw hell of course we're freeing the Joker. It's always best to do your dramatic grave digging in the middle of the night. That corpse is looking weirdly pristine...wow what a surprise it's fake. Joker, not giving a single fraction of a fuck. Fuck you, Ras! Oh, so it's Fancy Man's fault. Does hiring the Joker ever work out well for anyone? Oh hey, Ras's hot daughter. Man, I'm starting to think that bringing traumatized corpses back from the dead is more trouble than it's worth. Bruce could use a hug. Meanwhile, clown shenanigans. I don't htink anybody would really be too upset if those guys died. You can go ahead and kill Joker if you want. Look I'm pretty sure he's earned this particular murder. It's family drama time. Oooooh Dad's mad. Objectively, you should probably just make a special exception for the Joker and kill him. Joker's having a great time. Everybody needs a hug and I'm including myself in that.

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Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid a- oh shit, wrong holiday.

12:00 - Fena: Pirate Princess #12 - The Chosen Maiden - TV-14DV
12:30 - Batman: The Long Halloween Part 1 - TV-14LV
2:30 - Batman: The Long Halloween Part 2 - TV-14LV

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Fena- I feel cautiously optimistic for Shitan's survival odds because the show's kinda forgotten about him. Somebody explain what the hell that kid is. Does the bus run through here? Oh right, I guess she didn't know about the whole family history. Surely this will end well. I feel like this isn't actually a hard choice and the obvious answer here is just to not cause the apocalypse. Is it time for the Ghost of Christmas Future already? This doesn't count as me getting a boyfriend killed. Ohhh, that's why Noah's Arc randomly showed up. I'll be honest, I'm selfish and would absolutely choose the future where I'm happy. This job sucks! You'll lose all your memories but at least you'll get laid. Can we at least sacrifice those twins? Meanwhile, shit's going down. Ohhh don't say that you don't plan on dying, that's just tempting fate. It's never a good omen when someone starts glowing. Where's the dog? Awww. Well this sucks. He's never gonna get laid. Oh hey, her hair changed. At least they still get to stay together. Oh hey, the lady pirates aren't dead. Her whore friend is here! Y'all fuckin yet? Awwww. My douche boyfriend didn't die and that's the important part.

Batman- I refuse to fear a villain that puts something from a Party City clearance rack at his murder scenes. Oh man I bet Alfred gives out the best candy. I always forget Gordon has another kid that's not Batgirl. Awwww look at the tinieset Batgirl. Oh things never go well for Two Face's girlfriend. The idea of using a baby bottle top as a silencer is a really weird choice. Oh hey, that's the guy from the beginning. This nerd is shady as hell. I'm always gay for Catwoman. Just fuck already. Man, Nolan took a lot from this comic didn't he. Torch it! HE'S TWO FACE, YA GET IT? I was genuinely expecting his girlfriend to get killed off already. Well clearly things were just going too well for him. Don't fuck with Batman's friends, guys. Good news your wife is here. SOLOMON GRUNDY WANT PANTS TOO. Oh that's some ominous flowers. Just let Gordon have his turkey. Real nice family there. Huh, his face isn't fucked up yet. You should really probably not give him that gun. Awww, they left SOLOMON GRUNDY a plate. Calendar Man is a real shitty villain theme. Aw hell of course it's the Joker it's always the fucking Joker. I know that killing Joker is against the rules and all but like, you could just cut his hands off and make him way less effective. Troy Baker's really having fun here. I love sassy Alfred. Helloooooooo Catwoman. Ohhhh his nerd son is definitely going to kill him now. Gilda needs a hug. Soooo Catwoman's single now, huh? This Joker is a delight. Goddammit Catwoman how did you fuck that up! Well that sure was a red herring. Is the comic also weirdly fixated on the having children thing or is that just added for the movie? OH SHIT IT'S IVY.

God I'm gay for Ivy. Baby you don't even need the magic brainwash plants for me. Batman's too busy getting sex pollen'd by the plant witch, which is exactly the excuse I wish I could use to get out of work. CATFIGHT, GO! This is an extreme thirst. Oh shit she even brainwashed Alfred. I got a bad feeling about Gilda. Oh hey, Scarecrow. Aw hell he just got done being drugged up to hell by a villain! Obligatory dead parents flashback time. They really should just stop putting all the dangerous criminals in Arkham. That's one big lady. Ohhhh don't bring his dad into this. I'm rooting for this mobster lady. Whelp, so much for that guy. Poor bastard never got to eat his Father's Day cannoli. Oh these people are tripping balls. This could be going better. Man Catwoman's pulling a lot of weight in these movies. I could stand about five minutes with the Mad Hatter before I'd snap and beat him to death with my own shoes. This could definitely be going better. Dent's having a real rough day. Whelp, it's Two Face time. How did this hospital manage to let him sneak out a window twice in one year? Oh this is not gonna end well. I hope that big lady has a long and successful career in the crime industry. There's nothing better for your open face wounds than hanging out in a filthy sewer. Calendar Man sounds like an evil Bob Ross. Man you really should not have given him that gun. I like that Batman was wearing a police helmet over his regular mask. Who the hell is that? Bruce is also having a rough day. Wow what a surprise there's a mass breakout at Arkham again. Oh yeah shoot at Batman that'll really go ewll for you. Oh fuck no wonder she wouldn't kiss his creep nerd son. Hiiiii Ivy. Nooooo she was the one person in this family that deserved a good life! I'm rooting for Ivy in this and fuck everyone else. I'm moving this Joker. Ivy please use your magic plants on me next. Go ahead adn shoot him, see if I care. Yay, mob lady's alive. Watching Catwoman beat a man in the face with his own gun is a real treat. Nooooo not the cool crime lady! And nothing of value was lost. I think Harvey broke. Can we just take a second to appreciate how hilarious the nickname "Jimbo" is for a grown man. Oh hey, that plot thread resolved itself. OH THEY FUCKIN. Awwwww, Alfred finally gets his trick-or-treater. Hi, characters I don't care about.

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