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Trunks Thread 19.1: A New New Frontier

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VENTO AUREO - "Death has me now." Even so, death has that guy that crashed through your windshield even more. Fabulous vs. Badass Batshit Moe, start! :D He can't say "son of a bitch". Oh shit, there's still blood left in him? Leave it to JoJo to teach you about various subjects that have nothing at all to do with the fight at hand. A thought crossed my mind: does Secco wear the gimp suit because it protects him from the effects of Green Tea? WELCOME TO MY SANCTUARY. Cioccolata's sounding kinda stilted today. Dammit Mista are you asking to shoot yourself again? HE GONE. Well shit. He didn't even need to take a bullet to pwn himself so hard. Time for Giorno to finally act like a JoJo and play the role of kickass protagonist everyone can rely on. He's probably squeezed into where the engine is. Yeah, a doctor of death. DEATH FROM BEHIND THE FRONT SEAT. Leave it to a JoJo to walk into a trap on purpose and know how to handle it effectively. Aw geez, that is some fucked up shit right there. Whereever he is right now, alive or dead, Foley is calling all of the shenanigans on this scene. Just record the "heeeeyooooo!" and play the clip for anyone else who asks how to spell it. They'll know what to say after that. Zetsuboushita? This dude is just too much. GET TO DA CHOPPAH. Oh yeah, it can affect plants too. Stranger danger, stranger danger. I just paused for a moment to write down that last comment and oh dear lord his gums are just as terrifying as his personality. ๐Ÿ˜ฐ "All that's left is wood." That's what she said. That's our JoJo of the arc. Never play it safe around someone that fucked up. I remember when I didn't know what a subclavian artery was. Damn, he is really good at playing dead. "You may have outsmarted me, but I outsmarted your outsmarting!" SHIT COUNT: 5. FUCK YEAH IT'S 7 PAGE MUDA MUDA TIME. ๐Ÿ˜ I still don't know what it is the English dubbers have against WRYYYYYY. It's a phone, but who is? He's so used to being a dog he doesn't even recognize a voicemail when he sees one. Okay this is kinda starting to inch back towards being my thing. Ironic how his hubris was what got him taken out with the Eurotrash. What a strangely somber tune for a tense confrontation scene. Oh hi Polnareff.

Oh hey, that's the clip that one guy used for his fanmade preview bump!

ASS CLASS - This classroom is so poor that they can't even afford lighting, but damn if it doesn't set a dour mood. :D What an exciting way to start homeroom period. "Special Arms Against Unidentified Slimy Octopus" Oh, you Japanese and your silly acronyms. I enjoy this alien guy's perpetual stupid grin. We should have him as our emojis from now on! Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this might be the first ever OP in [as] history to be sung by the original Japanese cast. Normally those types of shows are too otaku-pandering for our crowd. Now that's a creative way to teach grammar. Think the hyperspace gate crash with only 75% of the power. "Whatever kid's cartoon you were watching is way more unimportant than it already was now that this just happened!" In true anime fashion, the government's letting the middle schoolers do all the heavy lifting for them. Fantastic apocalypse scenarios like this, I can deal with compared to nukes and rioting. He does it because he can. Yeah, easily blowing up the moon like the main characters of that one [as] show idea that never went anywhere is definitely incentive to kill the thing responsible. Ten billion yen, or ten billion U.S. dollars? Still, both sound very good. "What's with the cleaning fetish?" For all you know, it could be alien OCD. Oh yeah, and the whole Earth getting destroyed thing. He's going to get some Chinese food, in the place where they just call it "food". I don't think that's how you pronounce Szechuan. You gotta love dilemmas that are both physical and emotional. AKIHABARAAAAA. "Everyone expects us to be thugs and murderers anyway!" Even the cute girls? This song sounds like a more serious version of this [as] bump classic. Great, another cast of background characters whose faces I want to bash in with a brick for no other reason than them being mean to the protagonists. Then again, I kinda need one, now that the nobodies at Totsuki Academy finally started cheering on Soma. :D Then again, who needs those douchenuggets when you have Slimy Octopus Sensei instead? FUCK OFF FLASHBACK TEACHER I HOPE SOMEONE #METOOS YOU. This Hanes song is equal parts "kinda catchy" and "pretty effin' bad". Fuck yeah, creative writing assignment! Poems are more complex than I thought. :D Those noises. I still can't bring myself to hate Monica Rial, no matter how big of a villain ISWV (I Stand With Vic) makes her out to be. Wonder what pink means... Standby, perhaps? I thought so. And boom goes the, uh, grenade necklace. "Don't make me report you to my attorney and law enforcement!" You think he'll gain sexual powers if he sleeps under that membrane long enough? Ah shit, he molted. His teeth parted, that means shit just gotย real. Damn, even his threats are creative. Ah, so the problem was them not caring who got killed, so long as he was one of them. It's not quite a Bizarre Adventure, but a Bizarre Education works just as well. This flashback intrigues me. MBALLS! We have a name! Next week, Koro-sensei plays the role of a living pinata.

BLACK CLOVER - OH YEAH NEW OP TIME. It was a decoy all along. Or maybe not. I don't think that headbutt was entirely necessary. Hey, you live in the world of Black Clover, you should expect everyone new you meet to be at least a little not right in the head. If that was what you were trying to do, that was definitely an aggressive way of going about it. You fool, now that you thought that, someone's bound to talk about it! She told them that because you suck, Undine. "That adorable ignorance of yours will be the end of me one day, I just know it." GOOD. Yet again, Secre is the best character here. SECURITY MAGIC, MULTIPLE VIEWS AT ONCE. She can control the weather with a single word, no big deal. Eh, I liked her better when she was in her "pajamas". REPLY TO ANGEL: "At first I thought the queen was alright but nope, she's just another unfunny one-dimensional joke." So much so that even Asta, the chronic nun fetishist whose volume control is stuck on max, thinks it's kind of ridiculous. Cue the ominous Latin chanting! Guess Toonami picked the right night to drop a Black Lives Matter speech. That spade dude is just too much for Luck's fightsexuality, to the point where it actually comes off as odd. I don't know what The Boys is or why feminists hate it so much, but the whole "Watchmen meets Avengers" angle they seem to be going for in this ad is making me more unenthusiastic to watch it than I already am. Dammit Noelle, you don't just tell someone to stop getting kidnapped! Oh, if only you know what she was like behind closed doors... :D It's like he doesn't even know that he's prostrating himself. The shit Gaja puts up with. Yeah, Clover Kingdom does have some pretty strange and specific magicks up its sleeve... THE QUEEN OF HEARTS KNOWS ALL. A stage above stage zero, so I was mostly right on my call of Asta being Stage 0 (before I knew that stage already existed in-universe)! You really need to lay off the dairy products, Yami. Thanks, Mimosa. Thimosa. :D That's our Julius, asking the important questions. Power levels are bullshit indeed. For what it's worth, that scar does look kinda cool. Sounds like a recruitment and training arc are incoming, if not an outright timeskip. Hey, when nature calls, punctuality is no longer of the essence. Random deer head. A mage so strong, that it actually made Luck feel fear for once, and that's far from an easy accomplishment. Here's to hoping Mars and Fana are all right. Damn my headcanon for making me think Yami's cigarette was string cheese. Random bear head. I like that I can understand Gordon now. "How could you forget?" To be fair, we did have an impromptu two weeks of Batman movies. Gauche: "I wonder what Marie is doing right now..." GO BEYOND, PLUS ULTRA! Nice ED animation, though I didn't expect them to speed it up Shippuden-style.

Nope, not putting up with your shit today, Hibana.

SHIPPUDEN - So I finally found out last week that the "fatty fatso" kid doesn't show up for another five or ten episodes. Kind of jumping the gun using them in the "now presenting" bump, aren't you, Toonami? I'd have thought the glasses medic-nin would be the one taking orders from Hayate's ex, not the other way around. Transparency style, that's just invisibility. OH MY GOD A GIANT ROCK. He can use Shadow Clones, does this mean him having Naruto's ID makeup was done on purpose? Warning, this sword might give you a PTSD attack. Sakura can't use any jutsu that can't be medically applied, so here she is just punching things, old-school style. She can't even get water without acting on her intuition in that moment. I still miss his coughing fits. Even when he's not onscreen, it's all about Sasuke. Long story short, it didn't end well for him. I take it this was the meeting where they elected Toothpick JYB to take Hayate's place as proctor. Remember when faceless Sound Ninja grunts were a thing? Remember when Naruto having screentime in every episode was a thing? That photo looks easily memeable. Again, it's all about offscreen Sasuke. I had multiple lines of opinion on this speech queued up, but I decided not to go through with posting them. It'd be more trouble than it's worth to disparage this well-crafted speech and its useful message even just a little bit. All I'll say is, if you don't have anything nice to say about the speech, don't say anything at all. Because if the backlash that comes your way otherwise isn't about you being a racist, then it'll sure as hell be about you being a whiny little bitch. Daytime blood moon, that's a rarity. Ehh, the moon oath is kinda lame, if you ask me. He'd stop if he could, but he can't. There's something about filler fights that just saps my will to comment on them, even just a little. Oh hey, more Shadow Clones. I feel like that "Moonlit Night" move was supposed to be a reference to something. This fell flatter than it should have. Long story short, Kabuto really needs to stop having all these sub-goals.

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I know most anime taking place at a school are supposed to have a baseball episode, but this is a little soon for one, isn't it? Oh well, at least it's here in time for baseball season.

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #83 - Field the All-7th-Universe Team! Who Are the Mighty Ten? - TV-PGV

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind #32 - Green Day Tea and Oasis Sanctuary, Part 3 - TV-MALV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #2 - Baseball Time - TV-14

1:30 - Black Clover #130 - The New Magic Knight Squad Captains' Meeting - TV-PGL

2:00 - Fire Force #17 - Black and White and Gray - TV-14SV

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #309 - The A-Rank Mission: Food Fight! - TV-PG
3:00 - Samurai Jack #58 - XCVII - TV-14V

[teeena]

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OH, THAT'S A BASEBALL.

Jojo- I don't think Bruno's okay. Oh right, other people exist. :D "The beanie boy's babbling bullets said so." Not even his own quicksand gimp liked him. Uh Bruno that sliced neck is probably not a good thing. Deal with him before he gets there because god knows Polnareff won't figure out how to beat him. Wait are his legs gone now? This was perhaps not the best idea. Quicksand gimp continues to make me uncomfortable. Bruno, why do you even need air? Where'd you get that arrow, Frenchy? AVDOL SIGHTING. Man, he's looking rough for 36. Polnareff you helped kill one of their dads. What the fuck kind of shenanigans did you get into that took your legs? Please just kill this guy already. Uhhh Bruno you okay there buddy? Oh damn that was a good plan. God I love this music. Reminder, don't fuck with Bruno. Aw fuck, not THAT kid! You can just kill this one. Aww, now they're together in the dumpster truck. Aw fuck Bruno's dead for real now.

Ass Class- You blew up the moon, of course that's all they're talking about! Baseball, denied. I'm rooting for Squid Sensei here. That's a great picture. I'm with this girl, bring back snacks. Well, they've figured out a bunch of ways that don't kill him. :D I love his New York costume. Dude you're not supposed to eat the coconut shell. Squid Sensei is best teacher. I've seen this hentai before. Harsh truths from the cephalopod. He's gonna teach you how to play baseball. Squid Sensei and Aizawa would get along. Well kids, the important thing is you tried. Oh no he ruined their flowers. You could just load like twenty "transfer students" that are secretly trained assassins. That mascot is adorable. :D I'm losing my shit at the pinata. Aww, he's bringing them together as a team. I have concerns about this new kid.

Clover- Every week I regret ragging on the old monologue that didn't suck Asta's dick. So, we're just letting Dimestore Griffith walk around now with absolutely no consequences to the whole elf murder thing? Did some dumb bitch really say Douche Bro's bangs are good? Oh no, you stay the fuck away from Charmy she's one of the only decent characters here. Is there literally no one who can do a glamor spell to make the Wizard Brat look older? I hate the king but I'm glad the annoying guy is suffering. This is painful and I hate everything. Hey there, Captain Sexy. Yami could not give less of a fuck about all this. Oh my god just fuck him already you dumb bitch. Hey there, Dumb Nuts. You should kill him anyways. I hope most of you die painfully in this battle. Shut up Griffith nobody cares. I agree, you should kill all of them. I can respect dream girl's lack of remorse in all this. Every time Asta's execution gets pushed back, I die a little inside. Yes let's depend on Jack the Ripper. Why did they let this guy live? You all have MAGIC how does repairing shit cost money? Don't most of these fuckers come from rich families and don't need the money anyways? And then they lost, because they're dumb as fucking bricks. How dare you waste naked Yami on this.

Fire Force- CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG. Shinra really likes to flip flop between being cool and absolutely awful. Date me, Vulcan. Hibana is still goddamn terrible. I forgot about the attack of the mascots. STOP SAYING LATOM. Oh right, albino Deku is here. It's okay, we all hate our siblings a little bit. Lady it's your own goddamn fault if you're too stupid to stay with the hot buff guy who likes to work shirtless. Oh right, the creepy guy's here. I do enjoy that he's constantly followed by deranged carnival music. Join the group, you don't have to wear a shirt. Vulcan the girlfriend offer is permanently on the table, take me up at any time. I don't trust you, Science Dandy. Maki is my girlfriend. Hey there, Captain Sexy. Don't remind me that Tamaki getting molested is a hilarious plot point in this show. It's okay if you're cursed, I am too! To be fair, that is one cool skull.

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TOM: "Yeah... Sorry for calling you all racists last week. Too much CNN in one sitting."

VENTO AUREO - Leave it to a gimp to completely ignore a painful foot gash. NIGERUNDAYOOO. We ain't done yet, but at least we don't have to worry about the mold anymore. "All that drama over a phone call." It's more likely than you think. Not even Cioccolata's pet man liked him, that's how abhorrent he was. DAT ASS. Almost hoist by his own petard. Come to think of it, that is interesting. Ooh, almost. Zombies can take all of the damage, didn't you know? Damn, Polnareff, what happened to your legs? I apologize for sounding very Foley right now, but how the hell can this guy even see that far, anyway? SUCK ON THESE KNUCKLES. Zipper after zipper after zipper. I do like how they're portraying him swimming through solids. Welp, that's a flooding hazard. $20 says he gets hit by a car. What is it with Araki and freakish portrayals of the human tongue? OOH, RIGHT IN THE THROAT. And all over too, I guess. Even this is too much for a zombie to handle. Nice arrow, Polnareff. Hmm, so he goes by "J.P." now. I don't think anybody outside of comic book readers and progressives are gonna know who Kamala Khan is. Again, where did your legs go? Okay, maybe he just has extremely heightened senses. If you can't beat him your own way, beat him his own. Aw shit he's melting. This is like something out of those "melting in the rain" stories I was told as a kid, only wayyyyy more gruesome. :D In a way, a car did wind up defeating him in the end. :D Oh bonus, he got run over too, just as I predicted! And then he was Frogger. "Oh no, actual animals!" SHIT COUNT: 4. Zombie Bucciarati is the best. Oh hi Doppio. The irony of all this is, he could kill him in literally no time at all if his split personality wanted to. KAKYOIN! Your guess is as good as mine what's going on there. And so he joined Cioccolata in death, same final destination and everything. Giorno's very important, that's why he used the full name. His time... it's running out.

ASS CLASS - The Kentucky Times. To be fair, the moon blowing up is a big deal no matter what country you live in. Wait, if that newspaper's from Hawaii, why's it called the KY Times? ZA WARUDO. :D A handy solution. You know how sports people are with their fragile egos. Hmm, not a bad edit. April is the cruelest month, and somehow August wound up worse. :D He fixed someone's sketch of him, what a very Don Patch move. He's seeing the Yankees, because the Mets are little bitches who refuse to take the field. I'm not super-fond of the orange-head's voice. AMERICA, FUCK YEAH. They got him to molt one month ahead of schedule, that's something at least. His disguise makes the subtle caricatures of Americans look actually quite flattering. He's too depressed to even eat. Koro-sensei sure loves Hawaii. "Are you on a team?" "I was." As cool as I am with "no extracurriculars", that's still a dick move on school's part to disallow that for the people who don't want to be part of the Going Home Club. If his advice is prank the coach, I say go for it. TENTACLE BONDAGE. Hey, you never know until he tries. :D Koro-sensei, you're the greatest. So focus less on the shoulders, more on the forearms? I didn't even know tentacles could be moe. "Mmm... marker." And so the practice sessions begin. ENGLISH ENGLISH ENGLISH. Dad jokes aren't really your strong suit, Nagisa. "It doesn't matter how you set the mood, just as long as the mood is set." Eh, it's a little late in our season for shaved ice, but still, hitting up the local Italian ice place before it closes for winter doesn't sound too bad. Background characters, move out! [cues up "Knifin' Around"] Uh-oh, you offended them for reals this time. It's good that he's more than willing to make up for his mistakes. "What's with the sea urchin going all Earth Day on us?" Well it is April where you guys are. LEARN AND LET DIEEEEEE.ย Oh great, let's see what the snooty assholes are up to.ย ยฌยฌ Nevermind, we're getting more of the actually cool government guy instead. The principal's voice is too deep for what I can see of his hairstyle. I hope these two losers drown in the pool. Though on the other hand, life at this school looks so much like a nightmare, I'd actually prefer E-Class. Fuck you, Kunudon. I don't think anyone would really mind if some rando came onto that school's main campus and just mowed as many people down as they could. I think he'd rather be called Coach Karasuma. The caveat is, he reduced his speed to Mach 19. :D The branch has reached its plastic limit. You think he's capable of getting knocked out? I love Koro-sensei's superiority complex. "Strangest. Class. Ever." And yet better than all the studyholic assholes on main campus who will grow up to be emotionally deceased salarymen who spend all night drinking in the hopes that their liver will give out and they'll finally die. MEANWHILE, AT THE JAPANESE CIA. This dude sounds so edgy. I think I'm gonna like him best. Kill them for me, Edgy Redhead Boy. They deserve it. ๐Ÿ˜ˆ

BLACK CLOVER - Even though we know it wasn't his fault, he still looks super shady. Jack isn't here cause he knows it's better for the audience that he stays away. He's autistic, it's natural for them to space out every once in a while. Charmy's so best she gets her own love triangle. I STAN DOROTHY. You're lucky they're so simple-minded they can't tell you guys apart based on hair color. (Come to think of it, have any of these common folk really seen Julius up close?) Heh, nobody cares about the king. :D Sekke's suffering knows no end. If there's a silver lining to this guy's obnoxiousness, it's that everyone in-series wouldn't care if he died in some sort of freak occurrence. "Is he almost done or..." :D Huh, I almost didn't recognize Sekke's cronies there for a second. This guy's ego is so big it makes even Seto Kaiba uncomfortable. Thank you, Yami and Jack. "Beanstalk" is a better insult for him, but it's way too clever for this show. And yet, I don't feel as much of an urge to murder that crowd as I do everyone at Kunugigaoka Middle School that isn't Class 3-E. Leave it to Dimestore Griffith the Redemption-Seeker to know what it takes to please a crowd. :D Sucks to be you, Sekke. HAVE MY BABIES. Who doesn't love Ron Perlman narrating everything? It's one of the reasons the early seasons of 1000 Ways to Die are so fun to watch. Well, at least we had the first act free of Asta. And at least he's keeping his mouth shut for once. Dangit, Yami, not everyone is lactose-intolerant like you are. :D Goddammit Jack. (Also, reaffirmation that "piss" is indeed grounds for an automatic L subrating.) Crazy old kid. Don't disturb him, he may lash out. JUMP DOWN A WELL AND BREAK YOUR NECK DUMBNUTSIO. Everyone loves pyramid charts! Isn't it odd that they've gotten this far into the re-exposition and the arcane stage hasn't been brought up once? Dimestore Griffith the Redemption-Seeker, indeed. And in come the resignations. Or not! If anything, I'm just glad he's being cooperative about the whole deal. Leave it to Jack to go straight for the violent option. Oh hi Steamed Hams. "I'mma cube this motherfucker real good!" Why yes, it is possible to pardon someone against their will. Born too late to explore the Earth, too early to explore the universe, but at the right time to see Asta quote The Godfather. ECONOMICS. :D Yami's lack of giving a shit is just as much at fault for the Black Bulls' overall reputation as the members' own antics and character tics. And then they drank 'til their hearts stopped. You a surprisingly good dude for your name and costume design, Vangeance.

Come to think of it, I have been eating less Lay's products lately.

SHIPPUDEN - A samurai ninja, the most deadly opponent there is. What, you don't recognize the face of the guy you beat the shit out of a hundred episodes ago? I think "ronin" is as close a designation as you're gonna get. And now the story of how Naruto knows this dude. Don't be a dick, Choji. There was a bit of a disconnect between what Tsunade was saying and where she was pointing on that map, so I had to do a replay of the scene in order to catch everything. Is that Yamato? Meanwhile, random Deidara and Sasori cameos. Nice of you to join us as well, Hidan and Kakuzu. Any opportunity to show him off without officially breaking canon, I suppose. That castle looks more mesa-like than I expected it to. That would be the expected option, but filler is always unexpected in nature. FOOD FIIIIIIIIGHT! From experience, the only thing Naruto's good at impersonating is his Rule 63 counterpart. I do like how Ino's less inclined to get comically angry when arguing with Naruto. Those must be the BBWs who kidnapped Sasuke in that "Your Mom" fanfic I read over a decade ago. Eh, dignity and grace aren't really things eating contests are known for. Mmm, anpan. It's amazing how much younger he looks without the orange jumpsuit and headband. Geez, look at those lips. And there's the guy. It's the best bowl of ramen he's ever eaten, but at what nutritional cost? Heh, turns out the prince actually does like ramen. TECHNICAL KNOCKOUT. What an appropriate line to cut to commercial with. You may hate him now, but wait 'til he tap-dances on your grave after he ignores your cries for help. Damn, samurai training looks tough. It's a little something we with common sense like to call, "tough love". But what will the food for the final round be, I wonder... How fitting, that Yamato would blend in with the trees. He calls it, the Speed Sushi Challenge. The Mind Transfer Jutsu noise is my favorite cartoon sound effect, right next to Golden Joe's phasing sounds. Huh, so he can transform good, at least better than back when he had trouble mimicking the Third's appearance. Leave it to the experienced old man and the token beauty to clean house. With how much this guy dislikes soft foods, I imagine he'd hate pudding. "That's not how he normally speaks..." You can't go wrong with charcoal-grilled meats. What's with the random hairdresser in the back? They're gonna need two hands for this one! Unfortunately for them, he's eating at Mach 20. When all else fails (or in this case, wins?), just ninja your way out of it. And it's mortgage-free, the best kind of house there is. Oh yeah, that basket's gonna come in real handy. OH, THE HUNGER...

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Strange question, are nuns allowed to drink alcohol, or does that go against their standard of living?

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #84 - Goku the Talent Scout: Recruit Krillin and Android 18 - TV-14V

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind #33 - His Name is Diavolo - TV-MALV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #3 - Karma Time - TV-14

1:30 - Black Clover #131 - A New Resolve - TV-PG

2:00 - Fire Force #18 - The Secrets of Pyrokinesis - TV-14

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #310 - The Fallen Castle - TV-PGV
3:00 - Samurai Jack #59 - XCVIII - TV-14V

Even so, we're lucky Asta's too honest to stoop to substance-influenced coercion.

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Nuns are allowed to drink, but not to the point of getting drunk.

Jojo- Doppio is a good boy. Aw fuck, Bruno's blind now. Oh hey, Mista. :D That phone thing never stops being funny. Trish honey get back in the turtle. Uh Bruno I don't think that's Trish. I should probably be a little ashamed of how much I enjoy that evil boss voice. Goddamn souls screwing up everything. Bruno confirmed for best dad. Yeah you're not acting suspicious at all. Hey there, Frenchy. It's bonkers to think this entire season is only a few days. :D He's a good Trish. Goddammit Polnareff don't show off the arrow. Oh hey, backstory. Hey there, Enya. Oh hey, Jotaro. I'm eternally disappointed that we never got a scene of Enya shooting Dio in the face with an arrow. Avdol wouldn't have fallen into this trap. How did he even escape he had line one limb left. Aw shit his stand is out. Polnareff how did you even get up those stairs? He's got a point, this is really a tits-out kind of fight. I HAVE THE HIGH GROUND. You're not the first hot, evil time bastard he's fought. Oh, that's new. Uh hey Chariot, you okay there buddy? Whelp. Oh no you dumb French idiot you're not allowed to die here, Avdol and Iggy didn't die for this. HI AVDOL. And now, shit gets fucking bizarre.

Ass Class- You should just try roasting him to death, that seems to have an effect. Come on kids, stab your teacher! Haa, the girls think he's cute. It's okay Squid Sensei, you're still my favorite teacher. I don't trust this new kid. Huh, that was a solid plan there. I hate this boy. He's a fucking psychopath, that's what he is. Meanwhile, douchebags. Alright you can go ahead and kill these nerds. You're making it real hard for me to root against the world-threatening monster. OCTOPUS NO. I hate this kid so much. Hey, free takoyaki. I love Squid Sensei so goddamn much. Ooh, sweet nail art. I love watching him clown on this little bastard. Just let him die. He could easily just get under him and just catch him like that. You suck, crazy boy. He can go ahead and destroy the world, I fully support him.

Clover- Oh good the screaming's already started. I hope they crash and die. Is this filler? I hate you, Tinkerbell. Remember when he died and was almost set free from this dumpster fire? Oh what the fuck now. This is the shittiest version of Hogwarts. Kill the fairy, children. You stay the fuck away from that nun. This is painful. I hate every minute of this. Are we sure this isn't filler? I am thoroughly creeped out by mom Yuno. I forgot Bargain Bin Gandalf existed. My night is actively worse for having watched this.

Fire Force- I hate Tamaki so much. Donkey Dick is the best joke in the entire show. Vulcan's got great style. We get it, you're hot and bitchy. Hiii Captain Sexy. Oh no, Science Dandy is absolutely not trustworthy. Man it's gonna suck when I eventually get Captain Sexy killed. Date me, Vulcan. The morale of this story is to be ready to get your ass beat at all times. Those children are awful. Nobody trusts you because you're creepy and suspicious. Maki is my girlfriend. I like her witch hat. Arthur's fine, it's not like he uses his brain.

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Three-drink limit, got it.

"Toonami will be right back... right now."

VENTO AUREO -ย  Of everything wrong with Zombie Bruno's body right now, the melting skin on his face disturbs me the most. Doppio's way too nice for his split personality. Oh no, he's gone blind and deaf. Never mind, he just too enlightened to give a shit anymore. Oh hi Mista. :D Doppio, you precious idiot. ๐Ÿคฃ This shit is what OOC tweets are made of. Oh shit it's an actual phone this time. Her boss-father senses are tingling! Guess his vision's just wicked blurry then. Double never mind, it's just rough soul-sensing. If Foley were still here, he'd be calling shenanigans left and right over this. Part of me was hoping the Redheaded Teenage Badass would break that bottle against the guy's head instead of the pillar above. That house must've been where he was living when this season first premiered. If only the real Trish was there to hear those kind words. Polnareff likes to watch. "Plus ones go directly into the hell basement with the Pillar Men." When all else fails, call him a misogynist; he'll be either too offended or bewildered to try anything. I can only imagine how extra FUNi would've made this line. :D Oh Polnareff, you and your perverted similes. HE KNOWS THAT HE KNOWS THAT HE KNOWS. Flashback time! Nice to see Enyaba's character design hasn't changed any since Part 3. TRULY BIZARRE. Part 5 Part 3 Jotaro isn't real, he can't hurt you. I do love me some dual-perspective flashbacks. His STAND made ZA WARUDO look like mere child's play. "GAH, MY SEXY EYE!" Shit, I knew he lost his legs, but one of his arms too? REPLY TO ANGEL: "How did he even escape he had like one limb left." Speedwagon Foundation airlifted him out once Diavolo left the scene. If not for prosthetics and his will to live, he'd have been long dead by now. Oh, and human arm transplants, too. "My binoculars weren't there before!" From nottie to hottie in just ten seconds of erased time. Nothing says development like Polnareff going from meeting God at the top of the stairs to meeting the Devil at the bottom. BLOOD CLOCK, GO! Nice, he managed to land a blow, as expected from one of the Stardust Crusaders. Oh, what's this now? KAKYOINED. And that's another one down. SHIT COUNT: 3. That man there is your next attempt at doom, Diavolo.

Hmm, so DDR machines feature Love Live characters now...

ASS CLASS - Poor Koro-sensei. :D "Crying in the Sandbox" sounds like the name of a song by an emo band working to graduate to full-blown death metal. CONSECUTIVE NORMAL SIDEWAYS JUMPS. Your rubber knives are no match for his CQC. I think I have a mini-Lego replica of that exact same castle in my bedroom. Karasuma is the Hadley to Koro-sensei's Mr. Sakata. Nice of you to join us, Redheaded Teenage Badass. And the show's token femboy knows him. HANDSHAKE OF DEATH. :D I love this guy. One can only imagine the number of badly beaten bodies he left in his wake... It's taking all of his willpower to not put an Andy Bernard-sized hole in it. "Tell that to your tentacles." :D Mmm, gelato. As Earl Hickey would say, you never know in what way karma [with a capital K] will strike next. "Give us a taste of your ugly side." Clearly you weren't here for the stolen nameplates incident. Protagonists who don't give a shit about what others think are my favorites. He has only so much money to spend on gelato in the world. I'MMA FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU BACKGROUND DOUCHEBAGS. Or better yet, I'll let Karma do it for me. "Octopus" is just a name that rolls off his back, like "autist" is with me. The octopus is his spirit animal, is what you're saying. This dude has a real sense for cinematic timing. And murderizing assholes that the show frames as kind of actually deserving it for being one-dimensional. I'm starting to think TOM has some serious issues with humans in general. Nothing but coins, that's rough. ZOIDBERG NOOOOOO. Physical wounds heal, mental wounds fester, and that's the Monarch way. KARMA MAH BOI. I don't think takoyaki is breakfast food, unless Japan does things different. Fuck yeah, math! :D Oh no, he did his nails. Home ec: the one class too poor for Kunugigaoka's general student body. Austin Tindle's character is being non-consensually feminized, wonder where I've seen that before. Now this is an aesthetic backdrop. C'MON, MAN! Open your third eye... What a shock, he actually had a teacher who liked him. He's not afraid of death, and that's the point where I quit identifying with him in any capacity. Spoke too soon, this guy deserves a beating just as bad as that "star pupil" likely deserved his. But I guess wrecking his office and making him fear for his life is decent enough punishment for acting like an irredeemable traitorous douchenozzle out of nowhere. SAFETY NET. "Is there anything these tentacles aren't capable of?" Bringing Ed Elric's mom back to life, for one. :D He's even got a cat-ear headband for him. THAT'S MY PURSE I DON'T KNOW YOU. Stay classy, Karma Akabane. I've got your back, even if Angel and that teacher you unpersoned don't. "Hey kid, wanna /ss/?"

BLACK CLOVER - The cold open narration and opening theme are what truly ease me into whatever hot B.S. Black Clover has for us each week. Oh hi prairie dogs. Their verbal chemistry's really improved since their VAs got hitched. Secre/Nero truly is the second best Black Bull. Damn, Yuno can fly!? Unfortunately for you guys, Nero has already won. The town may have burned, but at least the crops are safe. "Aw shit, here comes Asta." He's not embarrassed, he's just disinterested. The priest has gotten a lot better since he started appreciating Asta more. Ah, fake news. They'd have snipped out the picture, but they're too poor to afford scissors, so it was easier to just frame the whole paper. Either they got adopted or they got kidnapped, either way some adult came in and took them all. Or maybe they're just entering the "back to school" season that I only now managed to exit. I'd post that Shadbase comic panel I photoshopped Asta into here, but I won't. Deny it all you want, Yuno, it still probably happened. It's a real shame that statue had to break. You keep doing those one-handed push-ups, kid. Half of those kids either have only heard of Asta and Yuno, or still have their parents. Bell's like one of those Skydancer dolls, and I want this to happen to her. :D Sucks to be you, Bell. I'm still surprised Sister Lily has a last name. Oh boy I'm gonna need all the booze for this one, and it's only noon where I'm writing this exact sentence. The more things change, the more they stay the same, they suppose. FUN FACT: Dallas Reid and Jill Harris (Asta and Noelle's VAs) announced their engagement the day before this episode aired in Japan, so Noelle freaking out over Asta's completely unrelated-to-her proposal is sort of a reverse hilarious in hindsight situation. I wonder if all these rejection punches have rendered Asta immune to waterboarding. The irony was, he was thinking that, just towards a different person. Eh, waterboarding would probably come off as a mere annoyance to him. Secre's too tired for these idiots. Part of me's still amazed that Tigtone got picked up for a full series order. And then they were guest lecturers. DID SOMEBODY SAY MUSCLES? I never got to know the joys of running laps in preschool, I blame that plus my 100 yard dash starting speeds for my inability to run long distances for shit. That leaves Yuno to learn the joys of being the little girl. And Secre's got a mustache for some reason. At least you've got just the bib and not a diaper to go with it. :D Yuno's just as awkward with expressing sympathy as Sheldon Cooper. Tap into your inner MILF, Yuno. Ah yes, where Yuno got the best one and Asta's arrived five hours behind schedule. I barely remember these two, but considering that was all the way back in episode 1, I don't blame myself for forgetting. Because of course redemption is cheap in the world of Black Clover. WIZAAAAARD. "You see, children, a grimoire is a lot like a penis..." He is really passionate about his craft. So many pot-potatoes, they're starting to dimension-slip into the GKA-verse. This kid is still so tsundere. :D He's even doing the whole gross-tasting energy drink routine. You know you're talking to Licht's skull, right? Asta only cries when it's appropriate, not when it's convenient like with Deku. I'm honestly proud of these two for making it so far in so long. EQUALITY, FUCK YEAH.

Have you ever been so desperate for a high, that you resorted to huffing jenkem instead of smoking clean drugs like a normal person?

SHIPPUDEN - As I figured, the basket was their means of escaping with him. But the real question is, how's Naruto going to sneak his way back to them? Poor kid knows nothing of the outside world. "You can, but you'll need to disguise yourself while you do." He turned back into himself while asleep, that's sure to raise some eyebrows. Ah yes, the traditional Japanese breakfast consisting of several small portions of food not normally had for breakfast in the States. You say that like foodie tours are a bad thing. Oh right, the Akatsuki are here too. It's Naruto, of course he's gonna screw something up, the question is what. Oh no not those two again. What a surprisingly applicable piece of advice. "Plan" is a fun word to say, but not as fun as "sham". Here I thought they were gonna hit up the sushi place next. Only one episode's worth of screentime, and those three can read him like a book. THERE'S SO MANY LAYERS TO DAVE FANTASTIC NEGRITO. Well, at least he broke his cover doing something he's just better at. Samurai training is serious business, especially when there's an impostor afoot. Aw shit, he said the thing! You're sound pretty Sarada there, Princess. I do love this classic soundtrack when it kicks in just right. He must've escaped through the window, or at least a vent of some sort. Well this conversation sure deepens things a little, for filler. Sometimes I forget that Deidara has a cybernetic eye. KILLER PUPPETS. Aaaand here's the point where I'm once again faced with a drought of comments, and am instead paying attention to the plot without going for a play-by-play. Oh hey, he knows ninja stuff too. Don't fuck with a samur-oh shit, poison acupuncture. Well, that ended tragically on one end, but fairly well on another. I completely forgot Yamato was here too. Aaaaaand back to the present we go. Oh right, Naruto doesn't know that coming to peace with your demise can free you from the Edo Tensei. Kabuto: "He was just a filler piece anyways."

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Ah, nothing says long-running shounen filler like a movie tie-in episode, especially when the movie's one that has zero chance of airing on the block for further context.

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #85: The Universes Go Into Action: Each With Their Own Motives - TV-14

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind #34 - The Requiem Quietly Plays, Part 1 - TV-MAV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #4 - Grown-Up Time - TV-14DLSV

1:30 - Black Clover #132 - The Lion Awakens - TV-PG

2:00 - Fire Force #19 - Into the Nether - TV-MAS

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #311 - Prologue of Road to Ninja - TV-PGD
3:00 - Samurai Jack #60 - XCIX - TV-PGV

Seriously though, I'm still waiting on those last two Bleach movies (even though I already watched one of them and will probably watch the other in due time).

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1 hour ago, PokeNirvash said:

1:30 - Black Clover #132 - The Lion Awakens - TV-PG

I hope this means it's time for everyone's favorite redheaded fire bitch and not something stupid like last week.

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From what I've been able to tell through various sources, it's Fuego's little brother this time. Technically less stupid than Hage Village filler, but still not worth your time.

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On 9/19/2020 at 1:25 AM, EmpressAngel said:

I hope this means it's time for everyone's favorite redheaded fire bitch and not something stupid like last week.

We needed more of her

Black-Clover-Episode-133-Cover-990x602.j

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Jojo- I bet that gaping chest wound is really giving him Kakyoin flashbacks. And then everyone died. Oh shit full OP. I have no idea what he just said. Oh no it's a dog in Jojo! Uhh y'all okay there? Oh cool, Trish knows how to use a gun. Wait what. Oh god they're all body swapped. Surprise titties. :D Oh my god Misa gets the best dialogue. I like that they didn't go the obvious route of switching everyone's voices. :D Poor Trish is suffering. Narancia gets to sound smart for the first time in his life. Mista's right, bras suck. Uh guys Bruno might be dead. Oh cool, their stands are upgraded. Aw shit did the entire city get swapped? :D Even the animals got switched. Oh that's ominous. Oh my god tell me somebody switched with the turtle. :D Turtle Polnareff. The fuck happened with that arrow? Oh no, does that mean the turtle's soul is gone now? This is all because Polnareff was too dumb to use a hanger or something to grab it. Polnareff what the FUCK did you do? At least Chariot got a cool hat. Doppio is a good boy. I hope it's somebody on our side. I do like his cool hat. Oh thank god it's Bruno. Well hey, Bruno got a sweet functional body out of this!

Ass Class- That's a great human disguise. You gotta kill those guys now. Thank you, Squid Sensei. Titties. I love her already. She's definitely got a tentacle fetish. Oh no, my ship has sank already. Me too, Squid. She's fun. False alarm, I'm calling the cops. The kids do have a point. I'm just rooting for Squid Sensei to destroy the world at this point. This is how i want to die. You can't defeat his boner. How are you so stupid that you didn't use the special bullets that can actually kill him? Tentacle punishment. Everyone is uncomfortable. He definitely went tentacle hentai on her. Nobody likes you, Bitch Sensei. Good kids. He's the best teacher. :D Oh god this lesson. At least she's trying. I love Professor Bitch.

Clover- STOP SCREAMING YOU JACKASS. Oh good, more of the obnoxious one-dimensional character traits are on display here. Kill them, angry fire lady. No don't focus on the shitty sibling. Make them suffer for my amusement. I want most of them to die painfully. I would follow you into hell, J. Michael Tatum. Like Charmy, it's ridiculously easy to bribe me with food. Oh my god, stop screaming. Bird you can fly, just fly to the hot spring. I hate all of you. Kill them, Charmy. I want Noelle to die painfully. Definitely rooting for the giant death spider here. Oh hey, it's the good siblings. I respect a woman who sends the weaklings out to either win or get slaughtered. Oh no, this shit continues next week.

Fire Force- Between this show and MHA, I've learned to never trust a man in a plague mask. Date me, Captain Sexy and/or Vulcan. I like how my two favorites in this series are ironically the ones who don't have fire powers. I live in constant fear of them dying. "Cool, bro." Why did they bring the nun who can't fight, and is too stupid to figure out an obvious trick? Every time Tamaki gets a painfully forced fanservice scene I die a little inside. Maki is my girlfriend. I genuinely forget that Tamaki is not completely useless. False alarm, Tamaki is in fact the worst. The show would be so much better if these two were just lesbians.

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VENTO AUREO - Oh shit, everybody's passing out. FUCK YEAH FULL OP TIME. Now with extra KING EMPEROR CRIMSON. Oh shit I don't remember that background Latin choir from the last time I saw this cut. Mass narcolepsy is a bitch. BEES. Oh boy, Trish thinks she's Mista. What are you talking about, you're Giorno, aren'tcha? CHESTICLES. Okay, so apparently this is a bodyswap episode. It's the kind of messed-up voodoo crap that made Freaky Friday a cult hit. Ah yes, the meme face. "How dare you finger me at a time like this!" :D Just imagine showing this whole argument to anyone out of context, they'd be so confused and angry. Here's an idea: have Giorno use Little Bomber for you. Well lookit that, power boosts all around. SHIT COUNT THUS FAR: 5! And all in the first act, too. (Damn, there goes my new badass rating criterion.) It's like the frickin' nation of Rand McNally down there. This enemy STAND knows no limits, it must be stopped! Great, now we're up to six shits, what the actual hell. Maybe he switched with the turtle? Nevermind, it's Polnareff who's the turtle now. Yes, 2020 has gotten "a bit dramatic", between COVID, the riots, and Venture Bros. getting canceled by out-of-touch executives. "The hell's a Polnareff!?" It's a surname, Mista. Wherever Kakyoin's soul wound up, he's probably feeling your pain right now. Sure does suck when your STAND becomes autonomous. "This was around the time Diamond is Unbreakable first premiered." Hold up, I think this was how Kira evolved from Killer Queen to Bites the Dust. Okay, I think I'm starting to get how all this is working now. We just have to take the arrow from him in order to un-Freaky Friday everyone. Wait, how'd Giorno (Narancia) get up there again? No surprise the only person he trusts is his split personality. It's the Boss! Scratch that, it's Bucciarati in the Boss's body! So many parentheses in these credits.

ASS CLASS - As a human, I find Koro-sensei's disguise a little offensive. He used pink because he's into feminization. "There is no lesson 2." :D BOOBS. I know her last name's seemingly unpronounceable European, but it sounds like "Yellow Bitch" to me. His facial color... is obvious.ย ๐Ÿ˜Š You kids do realize you're in an anime, right? Plenty of women in your medium are into tentacles. Soccer! TURN-OFF #1: Women who smoke. I don't care if putting the burning end of a cig to someone's skin is a legit means of S&M, I'd rather not do anyone who ingests that crap into their lungs on a regular basis. To quote Peter Griffin, get a load of that sideboob. Lethal soccer. I didn't know the Viets were known for their coffee. You do know the strict last-name basis makes it all the more tempting for your students to call you "Miss Yellow Bitch", right? :D Thank you for proving my point, Karma. Hot Eastern European on trap otokonoko action. ;) Wait, aren't those the guys who were hitting on her earlier? Ohhhhh I think the repugnant assclowns on main campus have more than a little competition in the "unlikable character" department for this show. Good, getting her to smoke less is the first step to getting her off my waifu shit list. She's still on the list, though, for being such a bitch. Even the other E/Irina on the block is closer to getting off the list, and she's the one character whose observable appeal is nonexistent. God her lovey-dovey front is so phony you can dial 911 on it. You're a good dude, Karasuma, keep it up that way. DAT ASS. The Ventures may be dead (for now), but at least Primal lives, and with an Emmy under its belt at that. [facepalms] Not only are you a bitch, but you're a dumbass too. (My Dad: "Easy now...") DOUBLE VISION. Lesson 3: Never underestimate Koro-sensei. It's a regular tentacle hentai in that shed. She looks good in those gym clothes. And somehow this didn't trigger an MA rating? The sexual suggestiveness this episode is probably giving Food Wars a run for its money in how much it's making my parents question what I'm watching in the other room. Strange how the Japanese guy's name is in English but the Russian guy's name is in... Russian. (And he's technically younger than me, what the fuck?) :D Tits-up. It's official, I wanna murder this bitch, even if she does have a better chance of murdering me. >:(:D I love you, Class 3-E. "Irina Yellow Bitch (sic) does not apologize." Eromanga, you say? Koro-sensei is the greatest teacher. Assassination badminton, the greatest sport you've never heard of. What a sentence for a teacher to write, even in a foreign tongue.ย ๐Ÿ˜ The Eric in Africa is Eric Foreman. I'll confess, I do not care for Lara Croft, how she looks, or the way her name is pronounced. I'm still gonna call you Miss Yellow Bitch. And so is everyone else. :D Well, at least the urge to murder is gone. You fool, Koro-sensei knows all. FRUIT PUNCH POWER, ACTIVATE!!

BLACK CLOVER - It's not often (at least in my experience) that you see the "Hated in His Hometown" trope get subverted to this length. Oh brother, my birthday gin can't come soon enough. REPLY TO ANGEL: "Oh good, more of the obnoxious one-dimensional character traits are on display here." On the bright side, at least Gauche and Grey aren't here to shit things up further. And for what it's additionally worth, this is an appropriate time for strength-boosting muffins. :D It's funny when Magna gets hurt. STOP, SISGOLEON TIME. Gordon: "Wait, I literally just came in here, what's going on?" Oh hey, it's the place where Asta solved a problem on his own the same week Deku waited for an epiphany to remind him that he can kick. Oh hey Fuego's here too. Consider myself pleasantly surprised, this wasn't a Leo-only episode like I was expecting. Mana: the cause of everything non-sentient in nature that wants to kill you. Gordon without lipstick is an unexpected cursed image. "YOU AREN'T READY FOR THE DIABETES THAT AWAITS YOU THERE!" Seriously, Magna, even Luck knows what mana skin is, and all he knows is fighting and breathing. To be fair, he didn't have perfect control of it back then. Thank you for proving my point, Asta. I find Luck more tolerable if I imagine the stuff he says coming out of Ginro's mouth. Anti-magic is invisible, that's why Asta has no aura. "You ass..." Yeah, I wouldn't want to go somewhere where there's no food either. EDIBLES! Oh shit, giant spider. Asta with shark teeth is also an unexpected cursed image. You'd think at this point, the yelling would be easier to tune out, but then again, the Black Bulls - Asta especially - are all about pushing past their limits. Oh Luck, you and your fightboner know no limits either. Magna with his default hairdo but no glasses, yet another unexpected cursed image. I love that I can understand Gordon now. "My net!" RIDE EM COWGIRL. Hey, at least you're in first place now. Hey, remember Noelle's asshole older siblings? Because this episode is PG no subratings, Fuegoleon's blood has been replaced with motor oil for this flashback. Pow, right in the kisser! And that's when the hallucinations started. "Gah, steam!" STOP, SPIDER TIME. He has found that the only way to defeat a spider... is to burn it. Turns out they were acting as for-hire exterminators this whole time. Lesson 4: always expect the unexpected. It's easy to forget that dungeons are unexplained phenomena in the Black Clover-verse. Now to wait one week for an episode our friends in Japan waited two months for.

Brak is back, and he don't know jack.

SHIPPUDEN - The Akatsuki sure are enjoying their opacity tool. Careful, Naruto, it'd be a shame if that ramen were to fly right out of your hands and through that window of debatable openness. Oh, this boredom cure is gonna end horribly, I'm sure. "Are they okay?" "When aren't they not okay?" :D You suck, Gai. Sakura bickering with her parents reminds me of my sister bickering with mine, when she comes down from her bedroom to actually interact with them. "If the message isn't 'card games on motorcycles', I don't wanna hear it." I can't even tell which one's the real one now. Winner, loser, the ramen's still yours, so... I keep forgetting what currency system Naruto uses. Japanese wordplay n' shit. TO THE BATHHOUSE, EVERYONE! But the question is, did you get to eat that ramen? Get a load of those overboobs. Considering how useless she is, she might as well be an old man. Busty girl problems. When Rock Lee does parkour, he likes it challenging. He just really wanted to try and get through to Sasuke by his own efforts, that's all. Shino confirmed for having the biggest dick. Ooh, literal wet dog. CANNONBALL. The praise for this game, I don't really mind, but still, did they have to give that 10/10 to Last of Us 2? Did it really deserve a score that high? Don't blame them for being loud, blame the walls for being thin. Well, that's one way to fix it. If only Sasuke were here... Dammit Neji, you put those thoughts in his head on purpose, didn't you? The one downside to jumpsuits: unpredictable snags. Random bra, I wonder whose it is. Probably Hinata's. He happened to be there because he was planning on finishing his training at the bathhouse. Now this is a 30-misunderstanding pileup. See, Sakura can be understanding if the writers try hard enough. She almost punched his crotch there. Oh right the bra, this is gonna be painful. Huh, turns out it was Sakura's this whole time. At least it was only her doing the punching and not anyone else joining in. "Only you understand my pain, premium ramen bowl." So what type of game are they even playing with those cards? ...I really should hang out with other people more, yet I have just as much fun when I'm alone. Neat, some of those card images were lifted from OP2. Okay now it's premium ramen time. Hey, weren't some of those guys dead? Guess I can't complain, seeing how this is a movie preamble and all that...

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If there's one thing to be thankful for in this end-of-season stretch of Fire Force episodes, it's that they got the Lucky Lecher Lure out of the way as early as they could.

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #86 - First Time Exchanging Blows! Android 17 vs. Goku!! - TV-14V

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind #35 - The Requiem Quietly Plays, Part 2 - TV-MALV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #5 - Assembly Time - TV-14L

1:30 - Black Clover #133 - The Lion Awakens, Continued - TV-PG

2:00 - Fire Force #20 - Wearing His Pride - TV-14LV

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #312 - The Old Master and the Dragon's Eye - TV-PGV
3:00 - Samurai Jack #61 - C - TV-14V

Tamaki really needs to do something about that.

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18 hours ago, PokeNirvash said:

Tamaki really needs to do something about that.

I fear Tamaki getting more bullshit, painfully awkward fanservice even more than I fear getting any of these men killed.

Jojo- Man I hope Bruno keeps that sexy boss body so I don't have to feel as bad about my thirst.Turtle Polnareff is always hilarious. You should probably just behead Bruno's body or something now. Aw shit, your own stand is fighting against you. :D Mista gets the best lines. Oh no, it's everybody's stands. Seriousy, somebody kill Bruno's body. Oh hey, Bruno's body bleeds now. Narancia no don't talk like that, you're just tempting fate. Oh FUCK he's here. Oh no here's four bullets. Oh no that's a lot of blood. MY IDIOT SON, NO. Giorno fix him now. :( Rest in peace, sweet dumbass. Fuck you, cheese suit. Aaaand I'm crying. Aw shit, there's an extra one running around somewhere. Is Doppio okay in there? You'd think he would have taken the opportunity to finally kill Trish. :( Oh this hurts my heart. Mista says fuck cops. And then shit got even more bizarre. Turtle Polnareff with the save. Uh somebody might wanna grab the slow-moving reptile before he gets attacked.

Ass Class- Hey do you like us enough to not kill us all? Aw damn he just stole your snacks. Well, the important thing is that she tried. Oh shit that actually worked. False alarm, he's blue now. He is the best teacher. Y'all fucking or what? Refusing to give these kids AC should be a crime. Aw crap, you just made him more powerful. Well we know he responds to titties. This mascot is a real bastard and I kinda love him. And then everyone died. Poor Squid Sensei can't come. Douchebags, all of them. Boy are they all gonna be embarrassed when the reject class succeeds. Look at our knife holders. They really do get all the hot teachers. Titties. Thank you squid. I love his human disguise. They have the best teachers. Can we just kill these two dicks? And Nagisa's balls finally dropped. I got a bad feeling about this.

Clover- Maybe I'll get lucky and most of them will die. She's so angry and the only bitch in this show that has my respect. Forget the kingdom, do it or she'll kill you. Isn't that dimestore Hisoka's power? Is this entire thing just a fake exercise to test their skills? Just fuck him already, you dumb bitch. If this giant spider kills any of them, it automatically becomes the best character in the show. Well that treasure chest is disturbing. Kill them, giant spider. Oh good, the entire one-dimensional squad is here. Good thing your enemy is willing to stand there and wait for your attack to power up without fighting back. You are a disappointment and I hope your sister disowns you. At least they get free treasure out if it. God, you're both unbearable. Murder them, angry lady. I'm sure I've had worse than that Dungeon Drink. She looks absolutely identical to her mother, because character design is hard. Tell her about her mom, because god knows her fuckhole siblings aren't going to tell her anything. I'd follow you into hell, Tatum. Kill them, let the hate flow you.

Fire Force- GUN. Go ahead, kill the weird guy. I'll admit, the terrible hero names gag has grown on me. Shoot her, Gun Man. You can't die you have to keep shooting Maki's adorable flame buddies. Don't mess with GUN. Oh hey, dumbass is here. Oh right, he actually learned something. Great job you almost killed your friend. False alarm, I forgot that was a legit good attack. Maki is my girlfriend. Date me, either of you. Vulcan I'm right here, volunteering to be your better girlfriend. Nah, I'm pretty sure her rack was enough to get Vulcan's attention. Never trust a man in a plague mask.

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VENTO AUREO - And then King Crimson literally shortened the OP, as opposed to it being figurative like before. I'm still not entirely used to the whole non-vocal body swap thing, no wonder cartoons go the cheap and easy route 90% of the time. Well, considering Bucciarati's technically a corpse, it's no surprise his body hasn't moved. Et tu, Zipperman? Okay, now things are getting a little confusing for me here. #1's gone mad! Looks like those two swaps have finally gotten used to their situations, to the point of speech. Bucciarati hasn't looked this intimidating since episode 1. [presses Easy Button] You don't need to know spoilers to feel like Narancia's signing his death warrant with this looking forward to the future spiel. That sudden skip forward! Could it be... ACT 1 SHIT COUNT: 4. A terrifying number indeed. NARANCIA NOOOOOOO. ๐Ÿ˜ฑ JOJO RULE #4: Every JoJo experiences the death of their body at least once, regardless of whether or not it sticks. Definitely feeling misty-eyed at this one, like Caesar and Abbacchio's before it. :( Oh hi Fugo. I take it this was symbolic of him technically joining Abbacchio in the afterlife. Why is it that I expect all of these happy-go-lucky car commercials to end with a horrifyingly fatal wreck and/or a local lawyer telling me he won't get paid unless I get paid? No one expects disassociative identity disorder! I'm sure my soul would make little sense at first glance to most of you, especially those of you who question all the autistic crap I do for the sake of doing (TV content ratings, mask fetishism, etc.). Or maybe he's just wandering around in the ether. ACT 2 SHIT COUNT: 1. TOTAL SHIT COUNT: 5. Dayum Mista, you scary. Ah, the ephemeral beauty of nature. See, I told you he was in the ether. :D As much as this exacerbates the "All Cops are Bastards" narrative, that guy totally deserved it. Yeah, that black skin does look awfully rubbery. Et tu, Golden Wind? That arrow is truly bizarre. Are you telling me that rock Giorno just threw was a STAND user too? If so, then damn Jotaro's mom was weak. Oh, so we're ending it right here then? I never realized how big Spicy Lady's boobs were in the ED until just now.

ASS CLASS - If Koro-sensei is anything, it's a show-off. Oh hey, it's the girl from that one ShindoL doujin before she got hooked on heroin. Mmm, licorice water. She says poison, but I see urine. (Again, little to no sense, my soul.) :D And then he was Sonic. Not sure what to compare that green winged thing to. "So poison turns him into an emoticon?" Ninja, the dude's a living emoticon 24/7, what sites do you browse in your free time? Okay, now I'm even more convinced that the yellow liquid was her pee. The best acts are the ones that mesh well with reality. Please blow up main campus, Miss Hellabitch, if that's what it'll take to get your precious AC. I've been in engineering school so long, I forgot "language arts" was the technical phrase. (And it's also why I don't hate America like all the poli-sci majors.) I like her viewpoint, though I feel there's just as much merit to highly interpretive answers, like when watching a contentious anime. I can't understand what that comic was saying, but I feel for the protagonist either way, because that's how I am. SUTANDO POWAHHHHHnever mind he's Muk now. Sounding pretty Usopp there this week. What we had here was, a failure to communicate. Okay, so that wrapped up nicely, but what of act 2? Consider this Better Cartoon Show ad our stealth first promo for Fire Force S2. OH FUCK NO. I will take twenty hammers to your skull, scoop out your insides with my bare hands, and force-feed them to your mindless studio audience, Kunudon. MAGGOT COUNT: 1. :D Sucks to be Okajima. And it sucks slightly less (or more, depending on the definition) to be Miss Hellabitch. I wish he was there, Koro-sensei could one-shot that campus if he wanted to, no problem. Kill yourselves, you stupid nerds. I told the Dean to shut the fuck up for being mean to class 3-E, and my dad assumed I was taking about Joe Biden. Besides, he'd probably beat the shit out of, like, fifty students and two teachers were he to show his face. And so, jealousy starts to set in. BOOBYLICIOUS. :D Oh, of all the times to have family in the other room. GAHHHHH I FUCKING HATE MAIN CAMPUS AS MUCH AS TOP GUN HATES BLACK CLOVER!!!1!1!!1!one!~!! ๐Ÿคฌ "What a little prick." Well said, Hellabitch. My dad's enjoying my hatred for main campus right now, and he doesn't even know what this show is about. :D I love how they don't even find Hellabitch trying to stab him strange in the slightest. Yes he is, what's it to you, fugly? He's got the cocky stripes on display on Nagisa's behalf, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. You're the one who deserves to die here, you soulless piece of human garbage. SHOVE THE STATUS QUO UP YOUR GOATSE-SIZED ASS, YOU DOUCHE! [exhales] God, Kunugigaoka main campus can suck all the dicks that have ever existed in all of human history, I hate them so fucking much. >:(If only he made that tornado on main campus, then we'd be getting somewhere!

BLACK CLOVER - And now for a show with characters that piss me off much less, siscon and shygal included. Hey, Charmy can't help it if she eats, it's in her nature to. :D God Mereoleona's the greatest, now only if she'd punch her fruity cousin in the face for good measure... It is now my official headcanon that Asta's into femdom and not just nuns. Magical Zoom, activate! The powerful magic item is a tennis ball? Now's not the time for nerding out about magic, Julius. Marx is one of the only sane people in a cast of crazies. Welcome to the lair of Diamond Backdraft, wielder of flightless beasts and keeper of their fire-form. Leo definitely pulled the short straw in this impromptu trap lottery. If Dandy had a special phrase whenever he'd run away, I'd ape it here for Magna. Yeah, but he won with Yami and Yuno's help. It's probably the spider again. SUDDENLY ANCHORS. "So this is what it's like to be carried like a princess..." (I regret not pulling out that quote when Akame did the same thing.) An underground church, you're lucky Asta didn't get here first. The word you're looking for is "golems". Wait, so were all those previous Archer seasons with the different names coma fantasies? :D Stupid sexy mimics. Ah, those organs bring back memories... "As to be expected of my dumbass younger brother." And with a capital D at that. Damn SEW Fall of Bleach video, making me think about recycled plot beats in shounen at a time like this... Oh hey, reinforcements. Exterminator Magic: Dale's Dead Bug! The narration is here for those of you too low on the IQ scales to understand what's happening. Turns out it was a 3D tesseract this whole time. Yeah, I wouldn't want that thing near me either. But on the upside, free gold! Not even Leo could tell what he did, that's why the narrator picked up the slack in explaining. The irony of your bickering is, Yuno will always be ahead of both of you. Since when is Mereoleona not serious? I bet that dungeon drink has the kick needed to seriously incapacitate Koro-sensei. Hot spring conversations continue on, I guess. Fuegoleon's fire arm is hella badass. What is it with Gordon pulling all these modern Japanese things out of thin air? It's funny how the real world paints your perception of two characters interacting. :D Sucks to be you, Virgin Street Punk Dandy.

SHIPPUDEN - I almost bought a konbu onigiri at the Japanese supermarket yesterday, but I put it back because it didn't say if the soy sauce was gluten-free or not. Leave it to Lee to have issues with rice balls. WORRY NOT, BECAUSE I AM HERE! I swear, where does Kabuto even find these guys? What a waste of a good onigiri. "He died under... different circumstances." And Naruto's there because of course he is. What an extremely blunt response. I bet you anything this dude's still alive, and that's why we can't see what his sclera look like. Leave it to the master of the Shadow Clone Jutsu to get excited over secret techniques. Damn, moths got to it. And it also contains a biography of the man who made it, because who said filler had to make perfect sense? Especially one that takes place between Sasuke leaving the village and Naruto following suit. You know, from behind, I thought his granddaughter was his old lady. What a waste of another good onigiri. Now that's a manmade tornado. Rock Lee truly was one half of the Asta of his day. (Naruto being the other half.) "I mean, 'ninjutsu' and 'ninja' start with the same four letters, so obviously it's an essential part of being a shinobi!" LEEBROWS. And so the cycle of begging began. A former student, I'm guessing. Didn't expect it to look like an actual dragon, did you? DO WHAT YOU WANT CAUSE A PIRATE IS FREE, YOU ARE A PIRATE. TANJIROOOOOOO. Damn that thing's slicing him up something fierce. It's a little something we like to call tenacity. I can understand why he doesn't want to give up, he did beat the odds when he had that surgery to fix his body up, after all. Heh, that Gai face. ๐Ÿ˜ Okay, so it's more a case where he didn't actually see him die, just that he assumed so because he never crossed paths with him after that. "But he became a chunin, so there!" LOGGED. "Well... he could be dodging better." I'll tell you how; he just had to go after his heart. In all honesty, disappointed that the old guy really was Edo Tensei. It'd have been much more clever if he was just some old dude known for cheating death that happened to wander into this large-scale war and just rolled with it. BE THE 58 PERCENT. I still think Asuna threatening to suicide if Kirito died makes more sense than Gai doing the same for Lee, because really, would you wanna be stuck marrying this guy with no way out? Not much to say about this backstory guy but, understandable. This ending would've worked better, dialogue and all, had he been an alive human instead of a reanimated corpse.

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Finally, the "fatty fatso" kid makes his long-awaited appearance after several months in the custom open.

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #87 - Hunt the Poaching Ring! Goku and Android 17's Joint Struggle!! - TV-14LV

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind #36 - Diavolo Surfaces - TV-MAV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #6 - Test Time - TV-14DLV

1:30 - Black Clover #134 - Those Who Have Been Gathered - TV-PG

2:00 - Fire Force #21 - Those Connected - TV-14V

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #313 - Rain Followed by Snow, With Some Lightning - TV-PGL
3:00 - Samurai Jack #62 - CI - TV-PGV

The overlap between the gathered and connected may be greater than you think.

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The only thing worse than regular Black Clover is Black Clover filler.

Jojo- Oh no, Doppio. Please call him. Turtle Polnareff is in danger. Aw crap, his gun. Again, Mista says fuck cops. Aw fuck the boss is here. I love the bullets so much. Polnareff's about to be killed by his own stand. Climb, Mista! Aw fuck, it's the time bullshit again. Uh hey, what the fuck? Don't worry, the horrifying mutations aren't hurting them. :D Mista's still getting the best lines. Alright where's the boss. The gun is now a mole. "The bullets and I aren't stupid," says the stupid one. Aw fuck, he's hiding in somebody's body. Thank god Giorno's got the team's brain cells for this arc. I guess he can just sense souls now. Gee Mista you sure are fighting back a lot for an innocent guy. Goddammit Mista of course it was you! OH FUCK WE'VE BEEN PLAYED. I like that half this fight is just one guy screaming at himself. Aw shit he stole Mista's body. Mista you've shot yourself 80 times already this isn't a big deal. Whelp, we're boned. I'm just gonna assume this shadow nonsense makes sense. I don't know what just happened but SHIT. The blood is now ants. This is not going well. Yeah yeah, Kira thought his stand had no flaws either. The bullets are now gum. Man, Spice Girl's got great tits. And then Trista died.

Ass Class- :D Naruto's not even on the test! I would fail Naruto class. That's also how I solve a rubic's cube. Give that squid a raise. Sorry but your kids have gotta fail to make everyone else feel better. Aw shit I'd definitely be in the dumb and lazy percent. I'm also bad at simple puzzles. Today's lesson is that the principal can fuck off. Sorry squid but we need the money. Alright kids, your goal today is to destroy the douchebag principal's system. I wish I'd had a teacher like this back in school. Good luck kids, I'm rooting for you. I also fear the Math Gator. Why do I get the feeling that the principal will just change all the scores if too many of them do well. Okay we're good, it's just a Math Trout. Aw fuck it's EVIL MATH. It's okay kids, you tried your best. Someone hug that squid. Aww, the creepy lunatic learned something. You'll get 'em next time!

Clover- Kill them all, fire bitch. You're a poor imitation of Sparkle Boy and I hate you. I got a bad feeling that this is gonna be some stupid bullshit. Oh, it's a nun. I have no memory of this woman. Oh this is some stupid bullshit alright. Is this filler? I also think this is a waste of time and would hate being here. Because god forbid they feed the hungry orphans without an ulterior motive. Oh no it's his sister. Aw FUCK it's sister fucker and I hate everything. Fuck this shit I'm out.

Fire Force- If either Vulcan or Obi survive this series I'm automatically married to them. Forget about her you guys, I'm right here volunteering to be her replacement. Fine kill her, see if I care. God I love a man who can just shrug off a bullet. Oh sure, take back the girl who intentionally almost killed you. I forgot there was an actual plot to this show beyond two buff dudes throwing themselves at fire. Nothing good ever happens to anime kids with white hair and powers. This show confirms what I've always known, that bugs come crawling out straight from hell. Ya gotta beat your brother's ass. Marry me, Cap'n Sexy. Tonight's theme is time shenanigans, apparently.

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Such is the way of Studio Pierrot.

VENTO AUREO - Welp, there goes Doppio. HE'S COMIN' RIGHT FOR US! My dad's in here brushing the cat and pointed out that he liked Trish from what he saw of her so far, so I had to explain that it was Mista controlling her body (and that she was 14 or 15, just to be safe). When all else fails, just blame Diavolo. GO LONG! Oh no, he's mutating. This is some Cronenberg shit right here. Instant evolution's a son of a bitch, ain't it? He's a Joestar, he knows what he's talking about. MOOOOOOOOLE. It's like M. Night Shyamalan's Devil, only out in the open instead of in an elevator. "You can discern souls?" Of course, Giorno grows new powers as the plot demands it. And so the student becomes the master. Dammit Mista just cooperate for once. "We've wasted too much time on bickering!" is what I think whenever Ben argues with Angel or TG about Black Clover. Okay so... whose body was he in again? ๐Ÿค” The Sissification Castle spares no one, not even Tigtone! Okay, now I believe he was hiding out in Mista's body. Crazy how time works when people regularly fuck with it. I take it that's another famous Italian structure. That dude just opened his third (and fourth) eye. Shadow shenanigans. Yep, looks like you're gonna have to pull a Gecko Moria on this one. "Take that, sun!" [snaps fingers] And then Diavolo was Ants in My Hands Johnson. Poor guy, never got to use his extra eyes to their fullest potential. SHIT COUNT: 2. She is rubber, and he is... well, we don't know what he is, but it ain't glue, I guarantee you that. KAKYOIN! Uhh, at least I think that was Kakyoin-worthy.

ASS CLASS - "You sound like one of those OSU Newark students." t. My dad reacting to me showing my disdain for Kunugigaoka main campus. He also pointed out that Koro-sensei moving everywhere would give you a stroke, and claimed it was what Woodrow Wilson watched before he had his stroke (which I added was by way of Grover Cleveland's time machine, #SaveVentureBros). :D He's got a fuckin' Naruto headband on. :D Karma, you cad. You dick, that was a perfectly good Rubik's Cube! Koro-sensei is the true anti-hero of our time. Oh boy here I go hating on main campus again. ๐Ÿ˜’ Wait, was that the same teacher who Karma persona non grata'd after his personal Top 10 Anime Betrayal? SHOOT THIS MAN. SHOOT THIS MAN IN THE HEAD AND FUCK HIM IN THE EXIT WOUND. "It's like he's turning into a parody of himself." And even if not, it's still more of a parody than Black Clover wishes it was. He's teaching you so hard because fuck main campus, that's why. :D Admit it, you'd watch a Koro-sensei lawlharem too. Oho, he's pissed. A hamburger and sliced beef on a single sandwich? Dammit, Hardee's, you've gone too far and I kinda love you for it! In other words, fuck main campus by sucking (up to) main campus. Plans on top of plans on top of plans. Assassination is complicated. And finally, I understand what Abe Simpson was trying to say when voting against fixing Springfield's Main Street. TORNADO TIME. Now it looks like a proper Japanese schoolyard. Please flatten main campus for me, Koro-sensei. Wait, so they have to take their tests on main campus too? That's a little unfair if you really think about it. Oh screw off, Croczilla, go back to Louisiana where you belong. My skills may be rusty from spending five months as a NEET, but I could handle that problem. And then Croczilla turned into FishCenter Live. Yeah, keep shitting in your cheap tighty-whities like the fragile ego personified you are, main campus trash. Aw shit, it's a Laplace transform. I WILL STRANGLE GAKUHO ASANO TO DEATH WITH MY BARE HANDS, THROW HIS BODY INTO A GODDAMN MEAT GRINDER, AND FEED THE RESULT IN MAIN CAMPUS'S CAFETERIA. I eagerly await the moment someone tells someone else, anyone else, from main campus to fuck off, word for word. Wha... huh.ย ๐Ÿ˜ถ Well, extra question or not, A's are A's, there's no changing that. The important thing here is at least 51 students out of 168 scored a perfect. Nobody puts E-Class in the corner and lives to get away with it, FUCK MAIN CAMPUS! Damn, that split-second Koro-sensei in drag I saw at the end was so split-second I can't even single out a frame of it on my recording. Glad to see he's finally switching noses, the old one was a little big and, I'm ashamed to say, stereotypically American for my taste.

BLACK CLOVER - Wait, there are other women in the Crimson Lion Kings besides Mereoleona? I bet you anything she won't be involved in this "important matter" and that's why Angel's salty over this week's BC filler being especially terrible. Good news is Mereoleona is involved (as is Fuego), bad news is so is Kirsch and his fruity ego. That look on Mimosa's face screams, "please, God, anywhere but here". Even Fuegoleon is on edge! Could be a top-secret mission, could be a filler plot that has no bearing on anything. Behind curtain #1 is the old nun from holy shit 100 episodes ago. Huh, she's been a nun for less time than I first thought. (Come to think of it, I do remember her being a magic knight in the past...) He only said it the way he did because it sounded cool. "This is the worst secret mission ever!" :D Sometimes I wonder why I laugh at this stupid shit, probably because I've channeled all my anger elsewhere. Little Fuego, Little Marco, Little Shige, even Little Richard. I just can't help but enjoy those kinds of nicknames. [sigh] Goddammit Kirsch, know when to shut the fuck up. Training does take priority in this universe. BRING IN THE FOOD. Oh boy, another episode with Gauche's sister but no Gauche! [commencing betrayal of expectations in 3, 2... now.] Leave it to Gauche to disguise himself as a kid out of his typical overprotectiveness. REPLY TO ANGEL: "Fuck this shit I'm out." Okay, I'll let you know when the show gets back to canon, regardless of whether or not you do return then. Oi, get me summa dem snags while yer at it, mate. Of course the other occupant of my personal bottom 2 in the Black Bulls would be behind this sudden case of age regression. And now it's time for stupid party tricks! "Cheetle" is not a word, nor will it ever be a word, no matter how much you want it to be. Jotaro can show you what a party trick is with nothing but 5 cigarettes, a lighter, and a bottle of orange soda. Shut up, Kirsch. Yes, cheer on your voice's wife's character. :D I can't stay mad at an episode that's roasting Gauche this thoroughly. I was hoping for bodybuilding poses, but that's too disturbing for the kids, so plate-spinning it is. I'll admit, that is impressive he can do that with such a heavy sword. Huh, almost forgot Secre was here too. ๐Ÿ‘ I'm so into this I don't even know why I'm applauding. Uh-oh, it's Little Fuego's turn. "Might I offer you some eggs in these trying times?" Not only boiled, but boiled at three-separate temperatures. Now that's skill. And of course, it's much too technical for the kiddies to really give a shit. Sisgoleon, meanwhile, goes right to traumatizing them. :D Huh, so training too hard can stunt your growth, that might explain why Asta's mana potential is drier than Death Valley at its absolute hottest. BEARS! Accidental pyromania, ain't it a bitch? Oh Asta, you really have trouble reading the room and its cohabitants. I take it she just slapped him because using her water magic would've drawn too many bedwetting comparisons (and also made a mess of things). Here come(s) the grudge(s). I was never the "fighting" type of sibling; I'm more one who fights with words than with fists anyways, which makes me perfect for the Internet! Mimosa's always been like this about her brother, she only shows it whenever he's around for long periods of time. Gauche, you dumbass. :D It really is funny when Gauche gets hurt. Leave it to the HNIC (the N stands for nun in this case) to have a handle on this sort of thing. I can't believe it took BC 134 episodes to break out the 100-ton comedy sledgehammer. :D And so the roasting of Gauche continues. Hard to believe that Asta and Noelle were the most civil of the bunch. It's nice to have people who care about you. Not sure if sarcasm or a hint that mana can actually extend the aging process into Futurama levels of old. (Come to think of it, I don't think anybody in BC, past or present, has even died of old age...)

Huh, something special and extra-long must've happened during Fire Force for its ED to run over into my Naruto recording like this.

SHIPPUDEN - "He's not one of those white guys..." You can tell I'm hard to offend because I am white and I found that line actually pretty funny. When he cries, the Earth cries with him. It's snowing... indoors? Not five seconds of "dialogue", and this kid is already officially annoying. Apparently Team 8 and Neji are doing the "attack everyone and see who transforms into a Zetsu" maneuver. PURPLE LIGHTNING. Oh god there's three of them. And then there's Naruto, running in the classic fashion that's used by everyone but his own son. It's ninja rain, meaning it's twice as powerful as normal rain. IT ME. That's another filler character brought back to life just for this stretch of filler for the bingo book. For this flashback, we're goin' way, wayyyy back; back to when Naruto was a pariah first and class clown second. That's right, we're going... pre-episode 1! It still seems odd to me that Team 10's the only one who had all 6 of their parents around. Weather's strange, nobody knows how it works, not even the meteorologists. "If only we were old enough to just run up this tree!" Huh, I wonder if that's what happened to those uprooted trees in that woodland I've been visiting recently. That is the fakest-sounding forced laughter I think I've ever heard. Weather for sale, get your weather for sale! He must have some type of amnesia power, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. See, told you weather makes no sense in ninja world. Plenty of boys look and sound like girls, that's why we call them femboys. He's everywhere and nowhere, for whatever that means. I always liked this piece of background music. You pushed the fat button; you shouldn'ta done that. Nothing fills you up like carbohydrates, and chips and onigiri are full of those things! Kid's got a big stomach if he ain't full after that. Oh, so now you make the connection. Oh no, his feelings are contagious. I can imagine Kabuto manipulating him to cry just to annoy these guys. None of these grunts know what the hell is going on here. Now for Sakura's flashback. Too many groups of people she'd be butting in on. And here's the obligatory Sasuke cameo because clearly we haven't had enough of those lately. ยฌยฌ Stealing lunch like Emperor Crimson steals lives. Huh, so that's what the front of the academy building looked like back then. SECRET BASE. The animators sure are failing at their job drawing Sakura's billboard brow properly. The snow is sinister. Those are some giant ass rain droplets. Looks like we'll be getting Kiba's side of the story next week. Naruto just doesn't understand.

And yet Naruto filler is the worst Pierrot shounen adaptation filler of all.

[as history has proven]

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Truly he is...

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #88 - Gohan and Piccolo: Master and Pupil Clash in Max Training! - TV-14V

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind #37 - King of Kings - TV-MAV
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #7 - School Trip Time/1st Period - TV-14L

1:30 - Black Clover #135 - The One Who Has My Heart, My Mind, and Soul - TV-PG

2:00 - Fire Force #22 - A Brother's Determination - TV-14LV

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #314 - The Sad Sun Shower - TV-PG
3:00 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba #1 - Cruelty - TV-14V

[boo-urns]

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Still dodging that Black Clover filler harder than I'm dodging the plague.

Jojo- Diavolo here, reminding everyone about the importance of condoms. Well this could be going better. Arrow says no. I am just as confused as you. I hope Bruno gets to keep that body. And everything's back to normal. :( Oh no, Bruno. Diavolo furiously screaming a bunch of fancy language does things for me. Oh look, Mista's dying again. I don't think Bruno's coming back, guys. Rage harder, shitty dad. AW HELL YEAH, ARROW TIME. Aw fuck, arrow time denied. Speaking of turtle, did Polnareff die now? And then shit got even weirder. Snaaaaake. I choose to believe this is actually just his Dio genes kicking in and nothign to do with the arrow. Okay the scorpion laser thing is probably the arrow. Oh yeah douche, I'm sure this is gonna go just great for you. POCKET BLOOD. Aw fuck did somebody activate Bites the Dust? I have no idea what's going on but I'm just gonna go with it. Okay cool, he's just not gonna explain anything at all. MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA.

Ass Class- Geisha Squid is doing things for at least one of those boys. Don't group up with the crazy boy. Aww she's cute, there must be something wrong with her. Bitch denied. Oh no, reading. I love you, Professor Bitch. I respect his need for more snacks. Sweet, new noses! Oh yeah random thugs, this is gonna go just great for you. :D Props for trying, kids. I'm with green girl, don't waste snacks like that. So what you're saying is that this is a great place for murder. Alright kids, time to get in some practice murder. Oh hey, crazy boy came in handy here. Man, no wonder you kids can't kill your teacher. I don't like where this is going. I like that her rebellious phase was just going to an arcade. Time to kill, kids. Man, he really nailed it with that guide book. Squid sensei says no. Yeah I'm full on rooting for the murder squid here. :D "We get it, you're a scary dude."

Clover- Noooope.

Fire Force- I don't think that one bitch can see but her ugly onesie does look comfy. And the weird time shenanigans continue. Science Dandy is still creepy. Man I forgot that boy gets fucking wrecked in this fight. Date me, Cap'n Sexy. I forgot most of this fight happened at all, really. I'm glad I don't know enough about science to know this is impossible. You're gonna kill us all one day, Science Dandy. She's got a crown over her eyes, girl can't see shit. Hey, the overheating thing worked for Endeavor. Uh hey kiddo, you okay there?

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VENTO AUREO - "YOU WON'T LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY!" Well shit, that hand stab doesn't look too good. IT'S A DUD!? Sucks being an astral projection, doesn't it, KC? Reverse soul-swap, go! :D The wasp was a butterfly all along. These soul spheres did come straight out of nowhere, didn't they? THINK ABOUT WHO'S TRULY WORTHY. And down goes Requiem. Aw shit, that means Mista's gonna wake up with a hole in his stomach. More importantly, that means Bucciarati's finally ascending. Holy shit this series started like a year ago our time. Meanwhile, KC still can't touch the arrow. Good, you're here, now heal him before we lose any more. Oh right he has to break the news to everybody. Random cherubs. T_T7 Arrividerci, Bucciarati. Guess we know who has the arrow now. Somehow. [bullhorn] Even if I was a smoker/vaper in high school, I'd have just left the vape stick in that public restroom toilet. Normalization, normalization everywhere. "Who was it who said, 'we all stand as soldiers, chosen by destiny?'" Probably the same guy who came up with the name STAND. And so the "Diavolo is Emperor Crimson" theory starts making even more sense. I dunno, you probably failed because you were tied to a body you just Kakyoin'd. He'll go into hiding, and then we'll never be able to find him! As to be expected of this part's JoJo. OH YEAHHHHHHnevermind future prediction. I like that shot of serious Diavolo with that little angry face on his forehead. And so he was Kakyoin'd out of victory. Speaking of turtles, where is Polnareff? REQUIEM'S PISSED. And then the arrow snaked into his arm, like that other one did with Kira before it. Bizarre substance. YOU DIE NOW. Oh shit, he molted. You gotta love these iconic shots. "Fuck yo time skip, n*gga." SCORPIONS! Hey, you can't do that, cutting off your own fingers is a Japanese thing! >_> Thanks for the arrow, Bucciarati. "Oh crap, he's achieved full pretention." Nice codpiece, Requiem. And as usual, Mista misses. You fool, you think mere blood in the eyes is enough to stop a Requiem STAND? Okay, so we're rewinding time now, that's neat. :D And then he turned into a Youtube Poop. KORE GA... REQUIEM DA. Hey, Mista's gonna finally shoot someone again! Though death by MUDA MUDA works just as well. Huh, Bruno gets top billing this week. He deserves it. T_T7

ASS CLASS - :D What's it called when you're sexual for a tentacle geisha? "Not to put a damper on the fun, but don't have fun. Main Campus may get jealous." I love me some snipers. I really enjoy Karma more than I should. Who needs another girl when Nagisa's already in your group? ;) Considering her long black hair, I can buy the whole "doesn't stand out in a crowd" thing and the whole "class idol" thing. Miss Hellabitch is the living definition of "mixed signals". That's a lot of encyclopaedias. Damn, that guidebook's thicker than my planning law textbook. Oh, stuff your mouths full of disembodied seal dicks, you main campus bastards. "Is that the putrid stench of abject poverty filling my nostrils?" No, that's just your rancid beef stick farts, dude. :D That paparazzi line just killed me. Sucks to be you, Miss Hellabitch. FUCK MAIN CAMPUS IN THE GAME OF LIFE~. I'm calling that one the Oppai Building. Terror at 320 kph. :D Koro-sensei is the greatest. 2000 yen says that boxcutter is the reason that guy's in E class. Better watch what you say, Nagisa, you may regret it. The irony is, these obviously evil delinquents are much decenter people at heart than those main campus buttmunches and their fancy hotel accommodations. Equally ironic is Koro-sensei being the most bummed out by their hotel choice. It's amazing how he can do that while so low-energy. Is that Bryan Massey voicing the poor sap in charge of all these delinquents? School anime sure love their field trips to Kyoto. They're famous Japanese people who got assassinated. Honnouji, you say? That's why they call Kyoto "the murder capital of Japan". An assassication, perhaps. YEAH, SUGAR! I too love secluded empty areas where I can talk to myself without worry of others listening in. Eh, better to be confronted by delinquents from another school than goddamn main campus. Prepping for Gemusetto S2 by playing a game focusing on a different yet equally boring sport, are we? But I gotta say, this takes me back to the days of Wii Golf. Though it was less me actually playing, and more watching some below-amateur Let's Player playing as George Bush vs. Nabeshin on YouTube Kill them, Karma. Oh shit, guess he doesn't do well against high numbers. Be lucky you hid, you'd have wound up like your doppelganger from Emergence instead. Plus you can't really trust Japanese cops, not in this universe anyways. Karma's ready to bust some heads. Eh, this bondage isn't extensive enough for me to see the appeal. So she's a gamer, so wha-ohhhh. ๐Ÿ˜ณ Can't say I was expecting her to be a kogal. Leave it to Koro-sensei to anticipate that as well. Memories and experiences are key, but souvenirs are nice too. In a way, it was therapy, because therapists in Japan are as hard to find as a hay in a needlestack. Still, nice to see she isn't a bitchy secret kogal like some. You'll need to elaborate on what you mean by "artsy". KUWABARA NO! Koro-sensei is the greatest guidebook preparer. His friends are a bunch of out-of-it nerds? FUCK YEAH KORO-SENSEI. SHIT COUNT: 2. In other words, fuck main campus. BOOKED. Don't screw with assassins-in-training. Because if there's anything FUNimation knows best, it's female empowerment. FUN FACT: The head delinquent in charge this episode was originally dubbed by Scott Freeman, but because his blacklisting and subsequent arrest for CP possession happened shortly after this episode and there was still time before the home video release, they had to redub him with a different guy. Considering the character was one of those "assaults women" types, I don't really blame them. :D Oh Koro-sensei, you and your male-brained desires.

BLACK CLOVER - Welcome to the Pierrot Power Hour of Pain; I watch it so Angel doesn't have to. Oh hey, it's a Finral episode this week. Though he's a jerk, Langris did make some very good points about the one half of Finral's two-fold running gag that I'm less than privy to. Wait, Yami mentioned that chick before? I don't remember it. "A Dreavy Hinker" :D Oh boy it's another mixer episode. And Secre's disguised herself as a waitress too, this time. Goddammit Luck. Here I was thinking glasses chick was a lesbian, but alas, she's just one of those husbando people. We all know what you're worried about, haremette #1. ๐Ÿ˜ OH NO SHE'S ADORABLE. Of course you have reason care, you're his wife. I'll leave it to Finral, he plays the aloof jerk role surprisingly well. :D Truly I'm qualified to laugh at this stupid nonsense. Nobody fucking cares, Luck. Aw damn, I was secretly hoping we wouldn't have Sekke and his buddies here, but hey, when at a mixer... We all know he's been sucking the king's dick, even sarcastically. They're so unimpressed they aren't even hungry. :D Thanks, Noelle. It's just a little treason, nothing to worry about. He wants to fight... in bed. Oh no, he's this chick's husbando IRL now. Secre doesn't need a tray. Lookin' pretty film noir detective there, Langris. Oh hey, a secret meeting. I bet you anything it's actually a private mixer. "This rain is bananas." B-A-N-A-N-A-S? Or maybe they're just here for the free grub. Gordon, you're my secret favorite Black Bull. I can't understand anything this bitch is saying. At least she's not calling you a virgin street punk like everyone else, Virgin Street Punk Dandy. "You have no clue what I'm going through." "Oh, you mean everyone else in your squad being straight as an arrow?" I think that dress makes your breasts stand out very well. Well butter my biscuit, there's that arrow I mentioned! "Work it, girl~." Pfft! :D Guess Finral's worries about bringing Yami to a mixer were legitimate after all. Ceiling Magic Knights, watching this whole trainwreck play out. Upon closer inspection, that looks more like a runway dress than anything practically formal. Red and yellow tomatoes... what a classy salad. Everyone wants a good listener. He's got the casual touch~. Oh no, her husbando's a Gary Stu. "That's just bad writing!" :D If TG didn't hate Black Clover as much as he does, I bet he'd use that reaction in reference to this show so much. And here's Asta and Rebecca, having the most normal conversation in the whole pub. Oh wow, Gordon's doing better at this flirting thing than I'd have guessed. Mmm, steak. Yami's better at holding a conversation than I'd have guessed, too. EXIT STAGE WINDOW. If she said "Call me captain!" in the distance while falling, I'd honestly have laughed. "You don't have to act like you just got infected with the damn COVID or somethin'!" How does this episode not have any subratings, that public sex assumption was easily D-worthy. And with that, he won one battle while losing another hard. Yeah, go back to your Gary Stu protagonists. Of course, Luck's too autistic to care that he just got dumped. Keep hatin', Langris. Huh, so Yami sitting on that side wasn't some minor animation mistake. Wait, so we haven't even gotten past the first month yet?

Oh hey, it's the Last Stream on the Left guys. I'm not used to seeing Henry without his facial hair.

SHIPPUDEN - I'm starting to think this arc was partly an excuse for the anime staff to take advantage of snow day tropes. Something tells me Sasuke doesn't even know those flowers are there. There's your obligatory Naruto cameo for this flashback. "I'm gonna graffiti up those faces one of these days." I can't tell which side of the NaruSaku/NaruHina shipping war Pierrot's even on, with how frequently back-and-forth they give both pairings attention. It's funny when Sasuke looks ridiculous. He'd have time to think if not for all these sudden attacks. OH GOD THERE'S TWO OF THEM. Huh, the lightning must be a new thing. Follow the whistling, Naruto. And then there were four. Okay, so he knows him too. Hm, so Naruto's snappiness is the reason he was able to hang out with these guys without really being "friends" with any of them. Don't mind him, he's just having one of those present-time PTSD moments. HYPOCRISY. Just remember, moss points north. You know what kids would love more than zombies or dinosaurs? Zombie dinosaurs! Use your words! Nice to meet you, Scared. Don't worry, boy, you'll get there on both counts soon enough. He couldn't do basic jutsu, but at least he could whistle. That's impressive in its own right. I mean, I'm much better at it now, but still, if only I'd have known how to do it way back when. Uh-oh, surprise aura. OROCHIMARU! :D That was... a thing. Come to think of it, his hat does look a little like one of those Sound Ninja belt sashes. And with that, a new weather power was born. "You are my friend." AA ANO HI NO YUME. Oh, so was Kiba the one who messed his secret base up? Nevermind, angry thunder was on the menu from the very beginning. Annnnnd now we're playing kick the can, I guess? Sure, whatever. Great, now it's hide and seek. Young Kiba sounds weird when he's counting up from one. Okay, so it's a mix of kick the can and hide and seek. Must be some Japanese thing. Oh no, ANBUs. The Leaf Village's immigration policy makes our border wall look like an open border. The question now is, what killed Yota?

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I voted yesterday. Now it's your turn (if you haven't gone already either).

12:00 - Adult Swim x Ben & Jerry's Present: Holy Calamavote - TV-MA

12:50 - The Eric Andre Show: Season 5 Sneak Peek - TV-MALV

1:00 - Dragon Ball Super #89 - A Mysterious Beauty Appears! The Enigma of the Tien Shin-Style Dojo?! - TV-14LS

1:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind #38 - Golden Experience Wind Requiem - TV-MALV
2:00 - Assassination Classroom #8 - School Trip Time/2nd Period - TV-14DL

2:30 - Fire Force #23 - Smile - TV-14V

3:00 - Naruto Shippuden #315 - Lingering Snow - TV-PG
3:30 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba #2 - Trainer Sakonji Urokodaki - TV-MAV

Happy early election days.

[usa flag emoji]

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I can't accurately describe how hard I cringed when I opened my ballot and saw Kanye West was actually on it. ๐Ÿ˜ฌ

Jojo- Ooh flashback, my son's alive again! :D "Go sit at the dipshit table" is a fantastic line. For just a second in that OP, Giorno went full Dio. How the fuck did he get away. Okay, I did not expect him to get stabbed to death by some random crazy hobo. Show me his dick you cowards. Well that's disturbing. Back away, old man. Oh no a dog. I hope that's another ambulance. This is a real fucked up way to defeat him. Oh no, Bruno. Huh, arrow. Get back to the dipshit table, Mista. Ohhh, this was right before the first episode. Bruno was the best gangster. This Olive Garden doesn't serve honest tax payers. Oh this is depressing. THE ROCK IS A STAND. Alright we gotta kill this guy. :D Mista did you lay this rock? I was joking but the rock really is a stand isn't it. This menacing rock stand is hilarious. That's a nice Bruno statue.

Ass Class- Let him sing more, I'm learning so much. This sniper plot will go just great. Oh shit, a boat. Shocking how that plan failed. No stop you're ruining the show! He's not even using the special bullets, of course he's failing. Group of our kids just got kidnapped by a gang of teen rapists, no big deal. And then the tentacles. My students learned a lot while trying to kill me, A+. He's too friendly to kill. I'm glad they're having fun. The girls are here to look at dicks. Kids I'm uncomfortable with this. Go spy on Bitch Sensei. I don't know anyone's names so this scene is completely lost on me. Everyone's thirsty over the teacher guy. I love Bitch Sensei. I don't want to hear about Squid Sensei's love life. This man does not get paid enough. Wait he used to have hands? I'd recommend not trying to murder the class to take him out. New transfer students, go!

Fire Force- Why the hell would you pick on a kid who you think murdered his family? I wonder what happened to their dad. I'll admit that was one adorable baby. This was a heartwarming moment until it went horribly, horribly wrong. Just a creepy lady dressed as a giant baby. GUN. Hey there, Captain Sexy. I forgot about this cute obvious lesbian doctor. Oh sure, go back to that bitch Lisa and wait for her to betray you again. "The truth would have done you no good" is a real shitty excuse for letting the poor kid think his entire family was dead and for letting everyone else think he killed them.

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To think only ten years ago he was best known for interrupting acceptance speeches to shill for Beyonce.

VENTO AUREO - Two dead people alive and Fugo's still part of the group... this is a flashback, isn't it? "Do cannibalsย have the right idea, eating all that human flesh?" :D We now return you to the death of Diavolo, already in progress. I just realized GW Requiem has a vagina on its forehead, at least that's how it looks. All right, another full opening! Now with an extra-special helping of GW Requiem. ๐Ÿ˜Ž His body belongs to the Tiber now. "Which way did he go!?" "Down." Huh, guess he hung on after all. They'll never catch him in the sewers! KNIFED. Oh shit, it's one of those nomadic Italian leprechauns. Diavolo's a weird strawberry with legs. :D Bleeding your own blood is a terrifying feeling, isn't it? And then he was at the morgue. So is this happening some time after he got killed, or... what, exactly? Okay, so apparently he can feel his own autopsy going on, or something. I didn't know "hesitation wounds" were a thing. Huh, so it was the Tiber this whole time, just as my geographical knowledge suggested. DIAVOLO WATCH OUT. In other words, he's trapped within an infinite death loop. The most embarrassing death of all: death by loli. Hate to break it to ya, Mista, but he's already ascended.ย ๐Ÿ‘ผ SHIT COUNT, ACT 1: 4. Huh, so that's the context of that reaction image. Bucciarati... (and also Abbacchio and Narancia...) R.I.P., guys. T_T7 BAAAAAAAAAALD. So what you're saying is... we should eat vegans. Ah, so this is all the way back during the first episode, then. He hit his head, just not in the way you'd expect. He lost his daughter... to drugs. "Let me tell you how it will be..." Once you're in, there's no pulling out. The boyfriend's lucky the father didn't use those gardening shears on his genitals. OH MY GOD A GIANT ROCK. Bruno's face says, "holy shit that's a lotta money". Who knows, it could've actually been suicide. The mafia's a lot more complex than that. You were a good man, Bucciarati. OH MY GOD THE GIANT ROCK. Come now, Mista, this isn't a CLAMP doujin. How does one go about killing a rock? "You're allowed to shoot him in the spine, but not to the point of bleeding out." OH MY GOD MORE GIANT ROCKS. SHIT COUNT, ACT 2: 3. Sitting on a park bench, eyeing Mista with bad intent. GIANT ROCKS, GIANT ROCKS EVERYWHERE. My dad came in to brush the cat and his first thought upon seeing Mista was "Spiderman". Fugo's just gonna sit here and get used to not hanging out with the others. It must be the pattern on his outfit that's making him think he's Spiderman. HOW DARE YOU HURT MY GIANT ROCK. And then Bucciarati was Kars.

It's funny how I remember more of Bruno when it was being released in theaters than I do Borat when it was being released in theaters.

ASS CLASS - :D This is the greatest dubbed song I've ever heard. Sweet, it's a sniper episode. Koro-sensei only gets motion sick when the speed is out of his control, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it. Fuck yeah, bridges! (Even though I'm more of a roadways guy.) "If that wasn't a headshot, then I'll be a monkey's... DICK!" Japan really loves hyping up their national foods, I've noticed. At this place, they film period dramas. Wait, so the actors are in on this too? At least, that's what he's making it sound like... :D He's part of the show now. "Gah, I hate actors! Especially the ones that only do voices!" REPLY TO ANGEL: "He's not even using the special bullets, of course he's failing." An earlier shot actually showed some anti-Koro BBs embedded in the shell of the rounds he was to be using; it was quick enough to be overlooked, so I understand the ignorance. No one wanted to hang out with the fat girl, so she's stuck with Team Actually Deserves the Hate They Get from Main Campus. You should probably get those secretions checked out. What the hell is that wacky Westminster Chimes ringtone? Considering he claims not to be an alien, "factory-made" might actually be accurate. Oh, so all this is happening parallel to last episode. It's official, last night was "lower decks night" on Toonami. Sniping someone's all fun and games until your target refuses to die. How thoughtful of you, Koro-sensei. I don't blame him for blowing on that tofu so much, I struggle with super-hot fluids too. Take that, Main Campus! You're a cool guy, Red Eye. Bullhorn. This Sunday, Spear and Fang run into a group of horned ape women... with sexy results. Of what I've played of Yakuza 0 so far, the only time-waster I've done was messing around in the Sega Arcade; played two rounds of Space Harrier and won two plushies from the crane game machine. It's tough being Karasuma. Yeah, well Main Campus is a bunch of ugly losers who get their rocks off on still images of suffering third-world peoples, so you're all better off. Ass Class sez, girls can be peeping toms too. MACHO. Koro-sensei makes his own bubble bath. And then he escaped, and with the bathwater too. Ah yes, the prized list of best girls. Ponytail girl is a respectable #2. BITCH MOVE. Karma likes Okuda because she reminds him of this chick. OH SHIT, KORO-SENSEI KNOWS. As I thought, the girls are talking about the boys. Everyone wants to bang Karasuma. I think I might start casually shipping Karma/Okuda after this. This one's for the tickling fetishists. Beer me, Hellabitch! :D Trashy little ginger. So many traditionally Japanese snack foods... I count mochi, dango, and konpeitou in there. ANIME CLICHE #177: Beautiful mature-looking women are always younger than they appear. Hellabitch has honestly grown on me. :DHuh, Koro-sensei's sit-in turned out more fair than I thought. Though with the same results. BATTLE ROYALE, FUCK YEAH. Hmm, so he's capable of speaking without moving his mouth... Oh, we Koro-sensei backstory now? You have a point, the weeks go by way too fast, even though life seems as long as it's always been. Back to hating on main campus like the devils they assume we are. SURPRISE POST-CREDITS SEQUENCE, GO! I'd be for the missile as it would destroy main campus, but against it because it would destroy E Class. Ooh, are these some mysterious transfer students I'm hearing of? And one of them's Deep Blue, but a cute girl? Sure, I guess.

BLACK CLOVER - The most brutal filler episode of all: NOTHING!

SHIPPUDEN - Okay, maybe another episode of Yota being annoying is more brutal than even that. But at least we're lucky the Yota Naruto's fighting is the least annoying of the bunch. I wouldn't put it past Kabuto to revive multiples of the same person as a sort of experiment, though three of the four being White Zetsus does make more sense. That's our Naruto, shouldering everyone's burdens so they don't have to. Time to stab some children. Since this is filler that has no real bearing on anything, I guess I can forgive Naruto having acquaintances pre-series start this time. It's a nice day... for inexplicable weather patterns. I CAN'T READ CIRCLE. Okay, now I'm convinced he's some type of experiment of Orochimaru's. And that was before the giant snake vision. Oh no, Naruto's painting up the Third's likeness in blackface! You better get used to his graffiti tactics, 'cause there's a lot more of 'em comin'. "You see anything?" "Don't ask me, I'm not from a family with visual kekkei genkai." Even as an academy student, Shikamaru was easily the most competent of the rookie 9. "Bright lights, my one weakness!" ANBU are jerks. He's the first friend, but their time together was so short, it's hardly ever talked about. To the border wall! But first, the river. It really says a lot about young Naruto's physical state if he was able to tread water longer than either Shikamaru or Choji. Welp, he's drowned. Bad news, son... you're hand-pregnant! Do any of these kids know CPR? Probably not. Okay, so it's sounding like something CPR can't fix. And then they all had a case of explosive amnesia. To think, this series could've been way different had they actually remembered Yota. Huh, so it was then that he started rocking the goggles that Kishimoto would've had him wear all the time, were they not so hard to draw consistently. He can't kill him, so he's hoping for the "death through finding peace" option instead. This mental link is for the Society of No Kabutos. WHAT A TWEEST. Things were good, but then the pandemic happened. As I thought, it was Orochimaru all along. To think there was a time when this sort of thing actually freaked Kabuto out. Wait, so he was still alive, and just chilling out at one of Orochimaru's many hideouts until Kabuto had a use for him? Akamaru grew up the most, relatively speaking. Dammit Naruto, war's neither the place nor the time to catch up on lost fun. And then he became a human snowman. I'm sure this was moving to someone. Maybe a little part of me if I wasn't as bothered with Yota's childish personality early on as I was.

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Once again, another long-running shounen says goodbye after a good chunk of episodes on the air. But unlike One Piece or even Boruto, I expect this one to come back before super long.

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #90 - Staring Down the Wall to be Overcome! Goku vs. Gohan - TV-14V

12:30 - JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind #39 - The Sleeping Slave - TV-MAV - END
1:00 - Assassination Classroom #9 - Transfer Student Time - TV-14L

1:30 - Black Clover #136 - A Black Deep Sea Story - TV-PGL - INDEFINITE HIATUS START

2:00 - Fire Force #24 - The Burning Past - TV-14V - SEASON END

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #316 - The Reanimated Allied Forces - TV-PG
3:00 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba #3 - Sabito and Makomo - TV-14V

Sorry, Asta, looks like you are done, for now.

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Oh, it'll be back soon. I'm not lucky enough to have it gone for long.

Jojo- SOUND EFFECTS OP, GO. No sculpting for you now, guy. Mista you're just going to shoot yourself again. Oh shit, flashback Mista is actually competent. "Do I look stupid to you?" is not a question you really want answered. Aw shit the rock's gone. Michelangelo confirmed as a stand user. Okay, magic stand rock is a real weird way to tell the future. God, that poor old man's life just gets more depressing. Poor Number Five. He can't shoot you but he can bitch slap you with a pistol. I'm choosing to blame Fugo for all of this. Mista's gonna need a hug once this flashback is over and he finds out what happened. I love my bullet children. Shoot the rock! Uhhh rocks aren't supposed to do that. :D Watching that thing bounce up the stairs is cracking me up. And then Mista fought a rock. Cheese suit, actually helping for a change. Yes, you could have had a peaceful death like plummeting several stories to the pavement below. Menacing. Oh no it's a rock. Turtle Polnareff survives! Take a fucking shower, Mista. This music is the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Oh hey, he became the boss. Oh sweet, new pallet swap outfits. I wonder if everyone just assumes the original boss died and Giorno is his son or something.

Ass Class- Didja get that thing I sentcha? Oh, she's cute. "She doesn't look like an assassin" is kind of the point, kids. The hell is that? Your new classmate is Hatsune Miku. I kinda hate her already. No shooting in the classroom! Oh shit, she actually hit him. You're ruining class, goddammit. Duct tape fixes everything. Your classmates hate you and they can fuck with you as much as they want. He is best teacher. She's got the personality of a My Little Pony. Does this count as cyberbullying? :D I love fourth wall jokes. I hate you, Vocaloid. It's okay Squid Sensei I still like you more. "What kind of whimsical trash is this?" is a mood. Oh, it makes flowers now. Can we just stick her out in the rain or something? I love you, Bitch Sensei.

Clover- I've completely forgotten what was happening before the filler. This is gonna be stupid isn't it. STOP SCREAMING YOU DIPSHIT. Kill them, Dimestore Hisoka. God, I hate all of you. Is this still filler? Hey there, Captain Sexy. I hope she drowns. Oh look, more people I hate. Sure, go murder a god. Is it Cthulhu? I love you, Yami. Your shitty talent show isn't going to fix anything. No Yami, tell them to fuck off and go back to drinking. Kill them, Cthulhu. Maybe the shark monsters will eat them. Just let them die, please. Once again I am left disappointed. Definitely rooting for the Kraken here. :D I do genuinely enjoy Charmy. Crap, they made it. You should just let Charmy eat that thing. I also have an aura of rage around me constantly. How dare you steal that joke from Finding Nemo. I hope this just makes it angrier. Aww, it's a baby. Eat her, fishy. Oh what the hell is this. Well that was a pointless waste of time.

Fire Force- Date me, Vulcan. Maki is my girlfriend. Hey there, Captain Sexy. I can't decide if I'm into this buff old man or not. It's a real bastard move to keep hiding shit from the poor kid like that. I do appreciate the pun that his name is Captain Burns. That's some fucked up shit right there. Shinra needs a hug. "That demon has a baby!" is unreasonably funny to me. Well damn that plan sure backfired on you, didn't it? I still hate that lady but man she's got great tits.

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None of us are, especially when we have the rest of that year of SAO I promised replacing it.

VENTO AUREO - OH FUCK SURPRISE FULL OPENING ONCE MORE. And with sound effects too! Eventually, Bucciarati stopped thinking. His hand, now he'll never be able to sculpt the same way again! "Wait a minute, are you a cop?" Nope, that's another member of the gang you're thinking of. This guy sounds awfully familiar, but I just can't place his voice... Neat, he's another "naturally occuring" STAND user, you don't see those often anymore. Are those vines around his head? I'm thinking Max Mittelman, anyone else thinking Max Mittleman? HIS HANDS, HIS SCULPTING SKILLS! Huh, never heard Michaelangelo pronounced that way. YOU GODDAMN NERD. I remember the blood from the mouth, but not the hole in his chest, at least statue-wise. I don't think that's how Russian Roulette is played. The virgin "she's dying of super-AIDS and I'm sticking to it" vs. the chad "I don't know what disease it is, but it's definitely terminal". Genetic ailments are a bitch. IT'S A DUD!? SHIT COUNT, ACT 1: 2. Mista just doesn't understand. I liked these Sonic ads better when it was just two guys shooting the shit in a car and not a bunch of literal whos sing-talking the name of a new item. If that phone is Bucciarati's, then who is Bucciarati's phone? I'm confident he said "turn this ship around", but part of me swears it was another S-bomb. No, not the stairs! "That's weird, this rock looks an awful lot like me." YEEHAW. Yeah, the oozing's kind of weirding me out too. INTERCEPTION. Plot twist: the rock has Lynks Disease. Exit, stage seven stories up. The car cushioned his fall, err, somewhat. SHIT COUNT, ACT 2: 1. And it was their car all along. Check out Fugo crawling out of the car in the background there. Ohh, so this was all before Giorno got confronted on the train. Congratulations, Mista, you only made things worse. So the thing to glean from this side story is, Mista knew Bucciarati was going to die, he's just in denial about it. :D My dad passed by, saw Trish, and called her "quite the looker". OH MY GOD A GIANT ROCK. Oh hi Polnareff. Just wait, we'll let him discover the disappointment all on his own. Get it, Mista. Nice, he did that one look Bucciarati gave way back when. LAST CALL FOR MODERN CRUSADERS. Oh, so it was Daman Mills, then. And then Giorno was the boss. And his outfit is no longer a stupid color! (Though TBH, I don't think purple works for Mista as much as the show thinks it does.) And so the wait for the Stone Ocean anime begins.

ASS CLASS - Just another day of normal, far away from those ass-fucks at main campus. You fool, by telling them not to make a big deal out of it, they're absolutely sure to make a big deal out of it! The screen says "middle-aged", but my memory of last week's events says "two years out of high school". That is some bright-ass hair. OH MY GOD A GIANT MP3 PLAYER. "Autonomous Intelligence Fixed Artillery"... I'll have to make a note of that. Karasuma really doesn't like her, I'm guessing. "Not making smartass comments about this will be the hardest thing I've ever done." That's why it's our job here at the UEMB to do that for you. Is it weird that I'm more interested in what story Koro-sensei's lecturing them about than where AIFA's weapons are? (Mostly because I knew where they were already.) YOU'LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT. In this case, the textbook definition of insanity also had the expected different results actually come into being. (Sort of.) This AI chick just doesn't know when to quit. We can only hope they unleash her on main campus next. That subtle boob jiggle. ๐Ÿ˜™ This guy doesn't mind fucking heavy machinery. :D They duct-taped her shut. Of course the one guy who deserves all the shit main campus gives him would be behind it. And here comes Koro-sensei to give her some life coaching. Or at least, try to give her some life coaching. But why a baguette tho? By the time he's done, she'll have all of the emotions. No way, baklava's from Turkey? I always thought it was a Greek thing. Like I said, all of the emotions. (And a larger screen, too.) His poor, poor bank account... I'm honestly kind of excited for this, but at the same time, I share your confusion and disgust. Yeah, well, that's because you are a total douche. :D That fourth-wall break. Remember when FUNimation actually used to be subtle with its anti-perversion stance in its comedy dubs? For one, he can't bring Ed's mom back to life. My dad answered the question about the retinas from the other room. HE'S A CHEAT! That sculpture was not created, because it was always meant to take that form. She plays shogi Pop Team Epic-style: winning in a ridiculously minimal amount of moves. I must know the name of this anime adaptation. Speaking of personality types, I'm an INFJ; same as MLK and Nelson Mandela, but also Hitler and Itachi. I do love how FUNi translates this show's wordplay by having the characters acknowledge what should be their native tongue. I just realized Karma had no voicetime this episode until now. OH SHIT IT'S THE I.T. DEPARTMENT. You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means. God what a load of dicks, they're actually starting to give main campus a run for their money. At least Terasaka's getting the other short end of the multi-ended stick in this case. ๐Ÿ˜ SUDDENLY FLOWERS. Suck on that, I.T. I thought there were, like, 30 students in this class; you're telling me there's only 27? :D Goddammit Hellabitch. I don't think I've ever seen anime parody the Paramount logo. I don't know what that was, but I'm intrigued. "Karasuma, get over here! Hellabitch wants some sex."

BLACK CLOVER - Meanwhile, things have gotten deadly serious over on FishCenter Live. Noelle looks out to the sea and thinks, "why do I act like a stereotypical tsundere's stereotype?" For a filler episode, this opening part is pretty well-animated, and even well-directed at the right points. Goddammit I was secretly hoping Asta wouldn't be here. Finral's mood is accurate, I'm not much of a jogger either, let alone a distance runner. :D I unironically enjoy you, Zora. But really, I'm just amazed I'm finally starting to find amusement in Luck's gimmick. Yare yare daze... YOU SUCK GREY. >:( Aw shit, they're both in nerd mode. Gauche truly is at his absolute best when Marie goes unmentioned. SHIRTLESS YAMI ALERT. That a Virgin Blue Hawaiian Noelle's drinking there? Whatever's going on, Asta knows it's important. Oh hi guys, long time no see. I'm 100% confident that was not his name, subtitles. The Void of No Return, also known as the Gone Forever Hole. :D This time, it ain't Future Yami's problem. And even Present Yami thinks this filler's kind of fishy, and not just in the sense of it taking place underwater. Huh, looks like Noelle's calling the shots (to a degree) this time. Eh, not a huge fan of the slime thing. Maybe if I was more of a Nickelodeon kid, I'd buy that... but no. Welcome to the Abyss, children. Aaaaaand there's our obligatory Marie namedrop. :D Oh, Asta. You have physical issues. If there's anyone who can help someone escape from the Void of No Return, it's Finral. Oh no, piranha men! "Is that even possible?" In filler, anything is possible, just ask Tony the Tiger here. Ahh, his sexy hair! SONG MAGIC: GEMUSETTO DEATH BEATS. That's our lady-loving, self-deprecating attituded boy. This power-up seems like it might actually be present in the canon, though I won't hold my breath on that. Even the piranha men fear the tentacle! For a second I thought that "it's the Kraken" line was just a FUNi ad-lib. GET IN MAH BELLEH. Happy Inktober, fellas! Oof, right between the eyes... And then Atlantis. AND MOBY DICK TOO, WHILE WE'RE AT IT! When all else may fail, rely on stock song recordings. Ohhh, baby Moby Dick! Well that was some interesting lore I don't think will ever resurface in the canon. For planning on wedding a nun, Asta doesn't seem to mind the whole "double dates with other women" thing. Still sucks to be Finral but at least he's doing better. But no really, FCL's gotten really serious now, I think Jeremy Legg might be dead.

SAFETY STEGOSAURUS NOOOOOOOO!!

SHIPPUDEN - You really suck at this whole "chessmaster" thing, Kabuto. Why am I not surprised that Orochimaru had an island hideout? "He must be turning in his grave. Err, metaphorically, I mean." Aw shit it's one of Danzo's bodyguards. That one guy looks a lot like Hanzo. :D Who said the enemy side couldn't have comic relief moments of their own? They're all weak because they're insignificant. Even White Zetsu is in disbelief at their uselessness. Oh hey, it's that guy's dad. THEY'RE COMIN' RIGHT FOR US! This transformation looks like a damn pinecone. :D Poor dude, cucked from beyond the grave. Catching up with deceased comrades apparently counts as occupying them, I take it. RELEASE THE ASS GAS. Those limes falling on Makasu's head, is that a reference to that one meme about the guy who can't hold all those limes? Just in case y'all forgot Sasuke existed for five minutes again. "Don't mock him, Sasuke. Not while you two are in the same room, anyways." I still remember feeling some chills from this reveal. I'll admit, it's pretty neat the second half of this episode (so far) is just flashbacks to Kabuto going around to familiar locals and reviving the dead. It's a good thing I can read katakana and surnames, so the need for subtitles is nonexistent. The right-hand man of his right-hand man. Huh, so that monk was that other monk's mentor. Paper bomb tentacles; ain't they a bitch? A monk's gotta do what a monk's gotta do. ...The fuck was that thing that jumped out of Temari's fan? O.o [rewinds] Oh right, her summoning animal's a weasel. :D Goddamn, wasn't expecting him to crush on Temari this hard. Then again, I can't really blame him. She is one of this show's few best girls. Guy lost his life in a C-rank mission, now that's being called a loser. Now that the comic relief's been taken care of, it's time to get serious again.

[as serious as filler can get, anyways]

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Finally, another instance where a Halloween marathon is actually the logical option. Also saves the trouble of doing something special for Daylight Savings on top of it!

12:00 - The Promised Neverland #1 - 121045 - TV-14V
12:30 - The Promised Neverland #2 - 131045 - TV-14V
1:00 - The Promised Neverland #3 - 181045 - TV-14
1:30 - The Promised Neverland #4 - 291045 - TV-14
2:00 - The Promised Neverland #5 - 301045 - TV-14V
2:30 - The Promised Neverland #6 - 311045 - TV-14V
DST:00 - The Promised Neverland #7 - 011145 - TV-14
DST:30 - The Promised Neverland #8 - 021145 - TV-14LV
3:00 - The Promised Neverland #9 - 031145 - TV-14V
3:30 - The Promised Neverland #10 - 130146 - TV-14
4:00 - The Promised Neverland #11 - 140146 - TV-MA
4:30 - The Promised Neverland #12 - 150146 - TV-14D

Spooky dreams, children.

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Virtual reality games refusing to be either logical or tasteful, Tamaki losing her clothes for extremely contrived reasons, and the annoyingly theological stream of consciousness that is the Gemusetto series. It's like 2019 never ended.

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #91 - Which Universe Will Survive!? The Strongest Warriors Are All Coming Together!! - TV-14V

12:30 - Sword Art Online: Alicization: War of Underworld #13 - The War of Underworld - TV-14DLV
1:00 - Fire Force #25 - A Fire Soldier's Fight / A Man's Fight - TV-MAS ๐Ÿ˜š
1:30 - Assassination Classroom #10 - L and R Time - TV-14DL

2:00 - Gemusetto: Death Beat(s) #1 - Asus4 - TV-MAL

2:15 - Gemusetto: Death Beat(s) #2 - A# Minor - TV-14DLSV

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #317 - Shino vs. Torune - TV-PG
3:00 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba #4 - Final Selection - TV-MAV

[2021 can't come soon enough]

Edited by PokeNirvash

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I did not have enough Emergency Vodka.

Sword Art- I remember fuck all about what happened last season. Is Kirito sill in a coma? Maybe y'all should stop using their actual gods as your disposible accounts? "All of you are fake and none of this is real! Tee hee!" RIP nice pig girl. Oh goddammit, big titty sister-cousin is here too. Date the sad pig boy instead of your blood relative. Was she always this dumb or is this new? Oh, is it her turn to get molested? I was joking but I forgot this is Sword Art. My power is also stored in my giant boobs. We're REALLY doing this, huh? What the fuck. Oh hey, I guess she remembered this is a video game and she's not actually killing a real person. Where the fuck did this place come from? RIP dragon, you were too good for this show. You're too tolerable to be a main character in this show, you can't defeat him. At least if you die in Sword Art, you don't have to be in Sword Art anymore. I also get distracted sometimes when I'm faced with a big, thick sword. RIP hot dad guy, this is not my fault. I'm with Redshirt Seitz here, this sucks ass. I hope this is Klein getting to do something. Okay I was joking but I will absolutely take this.

Fire Force- Maki is my girlfriend. Shinra could use a hug. Oh this is gonna be fun. This is me shopping in Animal Crossing. Dude, she's a nun. You're gonna need new shoes. Absolute chungus. Oh hey, it's the dumb one. Hey there, Captain Sexy. Hey Vulcan. GUN. You can go ahead and kill Creepy Science Dandy. Let's split up, gang! Maki is best girl. Arthur, seen here in a rare moment not being an absolute dumbass. Date me, Captain. Kakyoin'd it. :D NUDIST BITCH. No, let him keep the outfit. Bitches be evil, Shinra. OH HELL YES. :D Expository biceps. I need this calendar. This is the best first episode of anything ever. BEEF SQUAD. Shut up Shinra I'm here for the cobra. DOUBLE COBRA. It's okay Captain Sexy I still love you.

Ass Class- "Oh, sexy guy. It's a miracle!" is a sentence I've said verbatim. I love you, BItch Sensei. Titties. Fucking Russians. Human Resources Assassin sounds like a sweet job. Well now look whose cover's been blown. Good luck, my dude. Lady even I would see through that and I'm horny and stupid. Now that's a sweet prize. Oh dang, he's got some moves. Best cheerleader. Assassination daddy will never love you. "Fuck him" is always a valid option. Dang look at her go. OH YOU'RE BONED ALRIGHT. They're gonna fuck. Where do you even get a custom suit of squid armor on a teacher's salary? Guard your balls, Speed of Sound Sonic. I hate you, Vocaloid girl. Y'all are about to die. He is the best teacher. If he's gonna talk through this movie he's lucky he's unkillable. Huh, wonder if that's a hint that he's got a long lost sibling. Hi, Tatum. I know I just called it but I didn't think it would be that fast.

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You can never have enough Emergency Vodkaโ„ข.

This is where I finally watched the portion of my portion of my recording of this year's April Fools' stunt teasing Gemusetto: Death Beat(s). It was surprisingly representative of how season 2 had been advertised thus far, which I was not expecting, actually. So I'll save my thoughts on it for the actual uninterrupted-by-Post Malone broadcast later on.

SAO ALICIZATION - Just how we left last season without any context, we enter the new season the same way. I'm probably gonna forget the portions of this OP that'll be cut for the shortened version, just like with last season. "If we beat them, maybe whoever's behind this will think twice about sending more." Maybe, us Americans don't take loss particularly well. RULE OF SAO #2: When Kirito isn't onscreen, everyone should be asking, "Where's Kirito?" I assume that's another local deity they worship. :D Yeah, Kirito's lawlharem truly knows no rational limits. EMOTIONAL MEMORIES. If you've ever seen DBZ, then you know that ruins are always safe. No, she jumps good. Curse you for making me remember that literal pig girl, show. [shakes fist] Though I will admit, extremely sucky first impressions are certainly common in the Dark Territory, between Pugilist Boy and Pig Guy over here. Oh no, this is how rape doujins start. And now we're all left wondering how this anthropomorphic hog man could possibly be mistaken for a homo sapiens. Human in all forms but genetic. She wants to fuck her brother-cousin, of course she's weird. Well maybe the humans in your world loathe you because you look different. AW FUCK IT'S THIS BITCH. I was honestly wondering what happened to her, she used human shields to block a finishing move last season and hasn't been seen since... until now. Oh hey, she hasn't been sexually assaulted before. And already it's gotten more murdery than rapey. Kill her, pig boy. Seriously, I hate having to look at her stupid edgy face and stupid just stupid dances. And don't even try to win me over with femdom stuff, if it didn't work with Hibana one episode in, it sure as hell won't work with you nine episodes in. Let your eye explode, it'll be worth it to cut this whole thing short. "You made me bleed my own blood...!" Great, now she's ripping off Lust from FMA. MY ARMS! Thank you Leafa, I never really liked Dee Eye Ell to begin with anyways. It is in the Hellabitch's nature to try and kill whoever she wants to sex up at any given moment. On second thought, those ruins look awfully populated to be "safe". With all the bloody violence in this episode, I'm kind of glad Turner S&P already rated this episode so I wouldn't have to write all this shit down. VASSAGO'S BACK, BITCHES. In which Hol Horse uses The World. For all this show's ridiculousness, I actually think Bercouli's kinda cool. Helps that he's confronting the Big Bad right away, even if it's putting his survivability at risk. THE TWO-BASTARD RULE ALWAYS WORKS. What the fuck, did this guy always have black sclera? I don't think vintage wine is as thick as you think. CHOKE ON IT. And then amnesia set in. And that's three bastards now. HIS ARM! "You're lucky I'm right-handed, punk." Administrator was a better domfu than Dee Eye Ell, quote me on that. Oh right, Alice is here. "This game sucks so much ass!" :D You said it better than me, American self-insert guy. CONSIDER YOURSELF LOGGED OUT. Of course there'd be a second wave. Turns out it was Klein all along. I remember being a little annoyed with Zach Aguilar's voice back when I only knew him as the voice of that shy green-haired glasses boy with the unverified terminal disease, but I've come to enjoy it after hearing him as Genos, Koichi and Tanjiro.

FIRE FORCE - I do like that for every show-specific "recorded during the pandemic" advisory, they change up the fonts to match each show, and Fire Force's faux-Eurostile sans serif is my favorite thus far. Those red mountains in the background make the city look like a civilization on Mars if it had a breathable atmosphere. EPISODE 25, YOU MEAN. Iris is the better girl, but I like Tamaki's outfit more. But as always, Maki has the both of them beat. (Dem biceps, mang.) Thanks for the brief recap that didn't really explain anything, Shinra. Maki's ass looks great in those jeans. It honestly took me a moment to realize this was a sudden flashback. It's still my headcanon that Shinra has a thing for nuns, but is self-aware enough to not flaunt it to the world like the other shonen protagonist voiced by his seiyuu. Seriously, what are those hats. Oh hey, it's Lord Death. THINKING. Bang the nun, Shinra. And here's Tamaki to the ruin the mood by acting FUNi as all fuck. At least I remember the whole thing surrounding the truth of Shinra's family situation. SUDDENLY EXPLOSIONS. I'd ask why Shinra didn't take off his shoes before activating his foot-fire, but I know the answer to that is "because burning a pair of perfectly good shoes makes for a cool visual". Holy shit that's huge. I'MMA FIRIN MAH LAZOR. FUCKย ๐Ÿ‘ YEAHย ๐Ÿ‘ ARTHUR. ๐Ÿ‘ Watching this whole battle, I can honestly say that I've missed all of these guys. Upon further inspection, there do look to be five cores in that thing. BOOM ARMSHOT. I've never seen Hajime no Ippo, but Maki's attack is reminding me of the Dempsey Roll. You're such a goddamn chuuni, Arthur. Obi's pretty dang cool for having no special attack names. And in comes Shinra with the obligatory killshot. (L)ATUM. Late-running opening themes always seem weird to me for some reason. I was also going to ask where the 3rd Company was in that montage, but then I remembered that Dr. Giovanni was the only one with that company and also a real son of a bitch. :D The future space hoops are ridiculous enough, but that goddamn bunny hat... Seriously, Hinawa, what is your fashion sense? ๐Ÿคฃ He doesn't even look at what hats he's wearing!? Eugh, I hate it when the main character is thrown under the bus. I think that scene would've gone over better if Shinra owned up to it himself instead. In fact, that's what I was anticipating would happen! But alas.ย ๐Ÿ˜‘ Song still sucks, but at least they're rhyming more things with each other now. NUDE CALENDAR TIME, GO! Huh, so the 3rd is still active, it's just Giovanni was the only relevant one. Whatever place they placed, it was somewhere 5 to 8. They go hard, and not just because of the erections. Yes, let's all celebrate Rekka getting killed. Such grotesque musculature... Vulcan came in just to tell that picture of Giovanni that he sucks. :D Even Shinra's using that dumb "gravel" designation. Though to be fair, the "Owie!" guys are so pathetic they deserve it. I am so goddamn tsundere for Hibana you wouldn't even believe. Male exercise vs. female exercise. Stealth photography, m-fer. He knows... BEEF SQUAD. Truly the most macho of the Egyptian walking poses. Last place or not, at least Hibana has something to shlick to at night. I have to ask, is Sabat ever gonna get a credit for this show that's under his real name and not his DBZ Abridged stage name?

I don't really care about TikTok, and in tune with that, I'm not surprised they chose now of all times to start advertising it.

ASS CLASS - This song sounds surprisingly Christmas-y, and we haven't even gotten to Thanksgiving yet. Huh, I didn't even notice Karasuma doing the dance in the OP before. L and R like... L/R Licensed by Royalty? ๐Ÿ˜† Oh god, Hellabitch has really grown on me as a character. SUDDENLY TRAPS (and not the transphobic kind). And here's a little something for the WikiFeet crowd. I assume they were all speaking English in the original Japanese. I AM HUMAN RESOURCES MAN. Can I pay this guy to arrange the assassination of everyone on main campus? SUDDENLY KORO-SENSEI. Hellabitch confirmed for a crap assassin. :D Sucks to be you, Karasuma. What drink is that anyways, strawberry lemonade? Or tomato juice? IT TASTES LIKE A RAINBOW.ย ๐ŸŒˆ And here we thought Suguha having a thing for Kirito was as bad as anime incest got (even though we all know it can get so much worse). Bandit ninja Koro-sensei. Looks like he's writing his manifesto over there. FUCKย ๐Ÿ‘ YEAHย ๐Ÿ‘ KARASUMA.ย ๐Ÿ‘ I wouldn't fuck with him on a bad day. Now that is a bruise. Don't give up until you've exhausted every option. :D"Elizabeth's Secret", that's a reference some people might not understand. Was that missile always there? I can't tell from this far away, but it looks like Ritsu's got some digital food on her, probably for the purpose of fitting in. With that pose, it's like she's asking him to lick her armpit. (In which you all ask what's going on in that head of mine.) "Gotten himmel..." Wait, I thought this guy was Russian, you're telling me he was German this whole time? WHO'S THE BITCH NOW. [slams Easy Button] That obvious two-frame clapping animation. You go, Hellabitch. :D Of course Koro wasn't gonna make Karasuma taking a shot at him easy. REPLY TO ANGEL: "Where do you even get a custom suit of squid armor on a teacher's salary?" Scrapyard. I dislike ketchup bottles with the pour tops. Squeeze bottles are easily the superior form of containment and distribution. Oh hey, that's the movie from the trailer Ritsu showed at the end of last episode. Another reason I like Karma: appreciation for directors over source material. :D The AI hacked their phones. Let's pray your liquids don't get organfied on the way there, or... something. And of course the AI doesn't factor common sense into her calculations. "And that's the third time I've tried meth." True to the population of Hawaii, most of these moviegoers are white tourists. It is in the nature of Austin Tindle's characters to attract pink and cutesy stuff. How thoughtful, he's providing his own audio commentary. BROTHER NOOOOOOOOO! I don't think movies are that predictable, but then again, it is America... BETA BETA. Speaking of detailed synopses, I should probably get started on my two-months-late NaNoWriMo exercises today. Ooh, new characters. And one of them's J. Michael Tatum, my favorite homosexual anime voice actor and yours. You're telling me this kid's Koro-sensei's brother? For a kid trained by a ninja, he certainly has no sense of subtlety.

GEMUSETTO - I probably didn't need to rewatch all 4.25 hours of the first Gemusetto last night as prep for this moment... but I think it helped regardless. That said, the God of Tennis being Inti all along was legitimately Top 10 Anime Betrayals material. Yes, you were quite the man's brown starburst. FACE-FINGERING. It's an ironic name. I legit had no idea that white mark on Makasu's shirt was supposed to be a number. I miss the gratuitous Japanese openings, but this works too. SUS. Okay, so it is pronounced Bath-womb on purpose. But the question is, did he have to kill them after defeating them to avoid them getting revenge, or is it just something that happens when gods lose at their secret favorite sport. Those are some huge sunglasses. Oh dang, he reverted back for a moment. They call it the Tree of Life and Death. "frunked". Because unlike the Back Pocket Dimensional Flying Bear, unconditional love isn't in Keith's programming. EMOTIONAL MEMORIES. I always liked escalators. What a premise, indeed. That keytar frog has a deeper voice than I was anticipating. PIXEL FIRE. These vewn-animated expository portions were one of my favorite parts of the original Gemusetto, I'm glad that managed to cross over here. Yeah, no bukkake on Toonami, it's too much for Demarco's fragile ego to handle. Keith makes Back Pocket Dimensional Flying Bear look downright lovable in comparison. ANU-BASS. Like a pirate with two eyepatches. Oh wOw. It's like some kind of fedora frisbee. ZA WARUDO. Gotta love that muzak. Huh, I completely forgot to do a shit count like I normally do with TV-MAL programs. Well, that was certainly a cliffhanger. The worst part is, I feel just as betrayed by the God of Tennis as Makasu was. Oh hi Post Limon, back from beer pong already? I'd go for the money in his shoes before the weed, if we're being honest. JAZZ IT UP. Oh so it's the same OP for all episodes then, that's disappointing but understandable. Think of it like these Italian ramen noodles. I blame the whole "killing the gods" thing for this mixed-up sketty. I'M SAILING AWAYYYYYY. Why can't these trees hold all those limes? Ain't got no time for lime sex. These metaphors say a lot about the emotional memories of Makasu's we don't know. "Lend me your power, Post Limon!" Twice the skeletons, twice the spooky. Bursting through the breasts are especially spooky. And now for a whole different kind of bass. Nice hats tho. So sports lead to heart problems, huh? Remember that affair you had with your Italian bocce ball teacher! Or that time a dog you practice-kidnapped pissed on your poofy cleats and its rich Southern belle owner spanked you over it, that works too. "I wonder if this trauma will develop into a kink." They always do, I used to be afraid of masks when I was little and now they're the most surefire way to get me hard. Narcs are bad, but hypocrites who act like their shit don't stink are the worst, and unlucky for me, this planet is full of 'em. SUDDENLY MUSTACHES. The snack that smiles back, goldfish. Such grotesque musculature... Sometimes I see a bit of myself in Makasu, but I don't really see a bit of Makasu in me. At least, not yet. Oh hey it's the noodle arm bully from the sports academy flashback episode. Was that Seinfeld?

SHIPPUDEN - Wait, how could they have resurrected Fu if he was the one used as a vessel to bring Torune back? "I didn't want him to join the Foundation, but... he insisted." That's a lotta bodies. And then he was the Bulk. This week, it's Aburame vs. Aburame. Technically, Danzo was killed partly by Sasuke, and partly by his own undoing. Shino backstory, it's about damn time we got some of that. They also turn the body purple like it's Grape Ape. "That's why I can't touch anyone, not without these gloves at least." Well it's kinda hard to make friends when you have Naruto running around and being a nuisance to people. SUDDENLY IRUKA. It's his nature to analyze things, why else would he wear glasses? Danzo may have been a bastard, but I love his voice; then again, William Frederick Knight's voice is a national treasure in general. Just imagine how different things would be if Shino was part of the Foundation instead of Team 8. (Probably not that different, honestly.) Oh jeez, we ninja biological warfare now. Oh he's made friends, just not of his own volition. Finally, a version of the Hot Chick that's just as much about the literally who teenage girl committing crimes as it is Rob Schneider (read: Vince Vaughn) having pillow fights with other literally who teenage girls. I completely forgot what Fu's jutsu is, probably something mentality-related. Well that was a disappointing sparring match, didn't even find out what his power was. Oh it's just regular ass mind transfer. Hmm, not a whole lot worth talking about here. Weird, could this be Gemusetto's doing...? And in comes Naruto for yet another Big Damn Heroes moment. Wait, does the "venomous beetles kill whatever they touch" thing work on clones? If so, I think Naruto might have a bit of an advantage, even if his chances of winning in CQC are still zero. But I have to say, he's doing pretty decent with what he's got. SHINO NOOOOOOO. Always working several steps ahead, that's our Shino. "Though I'm still a little mad that Naruto keeps forgetting me every now and again." Bioweapon: neutralized. This part of the battle's over, at least. Dammit Naruto, he was having a moment!

These are going to be an interesting seven weeks.

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I, too, am almost 5'10". How Makasu of me. ๐Ÿ˜

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #92 - A State of Emergency! Failure to Reach Ten Members!! - TV-PG

12:30 - Sword Art Online: Alicization: War of Underworld #14 - End of Eternity - TV-14LV
1:00 - Fire Force #26 - Flames of Madness - TV-MAS ๐Ÿ˜š
1:30 - Assassination Classroom #11 - Transfer Student Time/2nd Period - TV-14DLV

2:00 - Gemusetto: Death Beat(s) #3 - B7+5 - TV-14DLV

2:15 - Gemusetto: Death Beat(s) #4 - C MAJOR - TV-14DLV

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #318 - A Hole in the Heart: The Other Jinchuriki - TV-14V
3:00 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba #5 - My Own Steel - TV-MAV

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I'm Deku's height and that's perfect because it puts me right at eye level with Mirio's tits. ๐Ÿ‘

SAO- Klein is best waifu. THIS IS A VIDEO GAME, YOU IDIOTS. No seriously, why are the bad guys even bothering with Alice when Yui has existed as a fully functional AI with free will for years now? I'm sure all these people appreciate that you keep reminding them how they're all fake and none of them are actually real. I straight up don't remember what any of these nerds are doing in the real world. I genuinely cannot follow the plot of this series. I forgot the undying rage I feel every time I hear the word FLUCTLIGHT. I hate all of you and I regret every decision I've made in my life that has led to this point. What does ANY of that even mean? I have not understood a single goddamn sentence of this. Robot is the best character. At least duct tape a knife to that thing or something. Kirito didn't know shit about Alice, you were paying him to play a video game you weird weird people. At least if Daddy Knight dies he doesn't have to be in Sword Art anymore. I feel nothing, show. I still don't know how Diavolo's stand worked but I do know that time shenanigans never go well. This is not my fault. What in tarnation. No really, why DON'T you despise her? Is the immolated clown molester's ghost also here? Wait when did those two fuck? Am I supposed to care about any of this?

Fire Force- I need that calendar. Date me, Captain. Dude your name is Roach you don't get to pick on anyone. Hello there, new cute friend. Does this guy only speak in whistles? This old man creeps me out. I'm uncomfortable. And now a crazy naked lady is trying to make you kill people. Hey uh what the fuck. Grandpa's got some issues. And then mascots. Uh, what. I'm so creeped out. Oh goddammit not this bitch again. Uh hey Shinra you okay there kiddo? Don't give in to your hate boner. This is grandpa's fetish. Hey there, cute friend! Dumbass assist, go! :D He's so fucking stupid I love this dumb bastard so much. Me too, Ogun. Aw crap, dumbass has a sad backstory too. COWBOY DAD. Oh noooo. Shhh don't tell him his parents abandoned him. Self defense punch! Bye, crazy naked lady.

Ass Class- You okay there, Squid? I still hate you, Vocaloid. Oh, you're creepy. BIRD. Even Squid Sensei is freakd out. HEY, KOOLAID MAN. And then Killua joined the class. I know that mood. :D Brothers! I choose to believe his parents look like that. Explain yourself, Tatum. They even like the same porn. He's fine, he's just got a mutation. Oh shit, he is a squid. Uhhhh you okay there, sensei? I don't like this. If he dies we riot. MY LEG. Let the kids have the money at least. PSYCHE. Eat shit, lil' bro. Goddamn kids and their temper tantrums. Go to sleep, kiddo. It's okay sensei we still love you. No kids you're not here to learn about your teacher's personal life. "His tentacles upset you" is a really funny sentence out of context. It's heartwarming to see all these students buckle down with the goal of murdering the only teacher who ever cared about them.

ย 

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10 hours ago, EmpressAngel said:

SAO- What does ANY of that even mean? I have not understood a single goddamn sentence of this.

It means that they plan on using Asuna, Sinon, and the sister-cousin's memories of Kirito to fix his double-comatose brain. Not that you particularly care, just thought I'd answer so you weren't left hanging.

SAO ALICIZATION - Neat, they managed to convince them all somehow. Did I miss something, because I don't remember Asuna bleeding from the head last week. Oh hey, I remember all those guys. Because Klein and Agil are the best and even the show has to acknowledge at least that much. Okay, so it was Yui who convinced them all in the end. A little bit of column A, a little bit of column B. They're just American, they play hard whether it's VRMMOs or a game of beer pong. Eh, two thousand's not that bad a number. I still see the number "11" whenever I look at the Integrity Knights' logo, damn my cursory knowledge of Japanese. Again, more than a little surprised the Sleeping Knights haven't lost anyone since Yuuki. MEANWHILE, IRL... To be fair, Yui being an all-powerful plot device doesn't exactly disqualify your otherwise exceptional skills. A not-so-artificial intelligence, one could say. Was one of those times when he blocked that attack without moving a muscle, because for all the bullshit I put up with in this show, that in particular was unforgivable. Or it could just be his harem logging in, that works too. Even the blonde computer geeks can smell the bullshit in this explanation. I personally prefer subjectivity to objectivity; sure the Pope's always Catholic, but an anime can be either good or bad depending on whoever's watching it. "We can restore his subjective self-image! We have the technology!" Well, one of them's his sister-cousin, so obviously. Wait a sec, if Death Gun was only six months ago in-series, then no wonder the Sleeping Knights haven't lost anyone since Yuuki! ๐Ÿ™ƒ Power outages are a real bitch, aren't they. Send one of those background scientists as a decoy, nobody cares about them. Oh, is he gonna use the robot? I hope one of the guys on Gabriel's side freaks out just from looking at the robot and jumps out a window, like in Kentucky Fried Movie. IGNORE ME. Honestly, Higa's probably my favorite character introduced in Alicization above anyone else. "Who are you?" "I'm the I.T. guy." It's little relatable moments like Makasu white-lying about being 5'10" that keep me from disliking Gemusetto like Ben so desperately wants me to. He should've stayed quiet after the second "this is unfunny and obnoxious", like Gunners did. WE SAKUGA NOW. Kinda reminds me of the new Dragon Ball Super artstyle, if it was in the hands of someone besides Toei. 30 SECONDS REMAIN. You suck, Vecta. If this is how Bercouli's gonna die, I'm more disappointed by the anti-climactic nature of it all than the fact that it's happening to begin with. DRAGON! That it, bite off the fucker's leg. ๐Ÿ˜ƒ I'm a sucker for scenes like this. WAY TO GO BERCOULI. So much for that anti-climax I was expecting. Still, I feel this would be more moving if this portion of the plot took up the whole episode instead of just the second half. Yeah so, fluclight ghosts are a thing now apparently. GOOD GRIEF SHE'S CLOTHED. So she's one of those subjective self-images, then. That would explain the lack of nudity. REPLY TO ANGEL 2: "Is the immolated clown molester's ghost also here?" No, he's stuck in a hell dimension deserved for characters even the stunt-casted rapists are disturbed by. Holy shit, this show has five character designers? (Way to remind me of the days where I had no sense of how staffing anime worked, SAO...) "You are already pregnant." Heh, Bryce got demoted to "additional voices" status. I'm not sure if Gabriel waking up IRL is a good or bad thing. I can't deny Vassago being a jackass. Okay, bad thing it is. Never would've thought Klein had PTSD, but then again he was stuck in SAO for two years.

FIRE FORCE - I mean, I'm kinda glad they traded out the Hibana clip for something else, but I don't think Haumea's that good a replacement. He might not be Asta levels of buff, but Shinra's got a good set of muscles and washboard abs on him, no ephebo. "It's a nervous condition, I swear!" I legitimately forgot why the 4th's captain is so important to Shinra's quest for answers, just that the glasses nurse in the 6th is his granddaughter. Oh yeah, he envisioned him. The thing I dislike about these shortened OPs is that it makes remembering what happened in the cut parts all the more difficult as time goes on. Shut up, hair dye boy. I was almost expecting him to call him a "motherfucker". I love protagonists who don't give a shit about what others think. I like you already, brotha. (The eyes'll take some getting used to, but that's par for the course in Fire Force, bullhorn.) You love blowing that whistle, don't you. :D Arthur was the idiot tag-along in their group. I have a feeling this whistle speak is going to get old soon. This room looks awfully purple, lucky for it I like purple. Okayyyyyy getting a little close there, gramps. He isn't even the fun type of masochist like the Gravel Brigade. Who the hell is that speaking? That blonde hair looks awfully familiar... ๐Ÿ˜ฎ Aw damn, I was hoping it wasn't Iris, yet here we are, trapped in a hell dimension with her inner Hibana. "Don't worry, it happens to everyone at least once." HOPE LIKE DESPAIR. Don't question the logic behind a man's erection, it's not worth the trouble finding out. Burn this guy, nobody's gonna miss him. Fuckin' Ookubo and his fuckin' crescent moon smiles... Eughhhhhhh. ๐Ÿคฎ I can't believe I'm saying this, but please save me from this masochistic old man, Lucky Lecher Lure. But on the upside, at least it's a switch he flips instead of one end of a gradual phase change. I have no intention of ever using TikTok for anything, even before the "China bad" meme, and this commercial only justifies my convictions. This blindfolded black dude sounded so cool in that bump just now, but seeing him in the show for reals, I'm not really all that impressed with him. :DThank you, Haumea. "It feels like I'm up against a beast in human clothing." I think Satsuki Kiryuin's gonna sue somebody. She's Iris's inner Hibana, I just said. His masochistic glee is still very much disturbing, but at least he isn't licking any ankles now. DOOOOOOOODGE. Oh hi Arthur. Haumea's the electricity one you're talking about, right? H-HAYAI! Wait, did they call him the "Rabbit" or the "Rapid"? All this JRPG talk is confusing Arthur and his Westaboo brain. And Asako's the healer, because naturally. :D Arthur's knight shtick has really grown on me, I love it. ACTIVATE KNIGHT KING SHIELD! I'm both relieved and disappointed that Hibana!Iris's nudity is what's responsible for the sexual content subrating and not the Lucky Lecher Lure. It's why it's called "royal blue". Oh shit Arthur backstory. I'm not sure if his dad has an accent or not. I love you, Arthur's chuuni dad, even if you did abandon your kid. You know you're fucked up when even Arthur - the dumbest character in this show except for maybe Iris - is calling you out on your illogical bullshit. These stupid attack names are great. And then he kneed himself in the face. "Am I a hero or a devil?" You could be both like Devilman, but on the other hand, no one wants to be like Devilman. You suck, Hibana!Iris, but the pussy game in this show ridiculous. What even are these pillars, anyways? I feel like I should know, but I don't. Oh well, that answer came faster tan I thought.

ASS CLASS - No way, a transfer assassin favored over the self-learning AI? Last week I noticed Karasuma in the OP, this week it was Ritsu and Hellabitch. Yes, he does retain water. Mysterious transfer students gotta stick together, y'know. BECAUSE OF REASONS. Judging from the "tweaks" comment, I'm guessing this next one's an artificial creation too. It's the White Shadow! And he's a magician too. :D Oh Koro-sensei, you and your liquid snake mode. He might not be much for straight answers, but you'd follow him into hell too after listening to him give a rousing speech. "Hey, Kool-Aid!" OH YEAHHHHHHHH. :D A douche this kid may be, but at least he's better than main campus. I call it his "Errg" face. I know I'm in for stormy weather, the winds outside my house right now are gale force levels of crazy. Answer his fucking question, kid. What's that he's eating, I'm honestly curious. I counted DBZ, Fist of the North Star, and Saint Seiya in that reference count. (All by Toei, fun fact!) D-Did he just eat the wrapping? :D This backstory is bullshit, but I believe it. OH MY GOD IT'S USOPP. Also, a potential replacement for my missing wristwatch. I love how White Shadow's calling him his ward by volition now. I never knew Young Jump had gravure models. Also, I want that belt-watch. :D This medieval scroll of a backstory. Written by Arthur Boyle. FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT. "Throwing shade", as to be expected of the FUNi writing staff. HIS ARM'S OFF! Aw shit, he's got hair tentacles. That would explain the "tweaks", no doubt. Oh shit, he mad. TENTACLE BROTHERS. These guys are ridiculously powerful, they might actually stand a chance against him. ๐Ÿ˜ฒ He got the legs! No one's gotten the legs before! If there's one thing E Class doesn't like, it's main campus; if there's another, it's getting kill-stolen. And he's got the gruff voice on now, that's different. I'm honestly impressed with that sudden countermeasure, good work Koro-sensei. ๐Ÿ‘ EXIT STAGE WINDOW. Woop woop. I don't like being lectured to either, but I don't get all stabby-stabby over it. GENOCIDE MODE. Or not. They're like Life Fibers, only anti-Koro-sensei. But March is nine months from now! Aw crap, he turned into Grey. Post-chuuni clarity, truly the most embarrassing of feelings. Well that reveal was... obvious. I mean, if he's not an alien yet he looks like that, what else could he possibly be? It's easy to forget he's still serious about destroying Earth. "They say curiosity killed the cat..." ... [looks at my cat] No, not you. I gotta say, this is a good way to end the first cour. Heh, the Japanese cast list still credits Ritsu by her technical name. I am all for killing main campus, especially with that technique where you break your bat hitting the ball and let the pieces stab 'em in the chest.

GEMUSETTO - I just realized that Dr. Legs is two hands joined at the wrist stump. :D Truly humor is the most subjective thing of all, fuck you Ben. But then again, some scenes are kinda painful even with prep, you're a cool dude Top Gun. I was thinking "lesbians", but "luchador" works too. Lance, another lesson word. Ah yes, the Mesopotamians. These lost souls look like potato sacks. Yeah, if I could have goldfish crackers, I wouldn't eat the plain ones either. Personally, I'd rather have a boring afterlife than a bad afterlife, just like I'd rather someone not care about a series than hate it. (I'm weird that way.) But seriously, I can feel the scant presence of anime parody/reference in this even without watching Machu Picchu beforehand. SHE'S PICKLE LEGS. I like that phrase, "fuck planet". Non-practicing is the best religion, we ain't bigots. DEEZ NUTS. Oh yeah, his henna tattoos were Egyptian, if I'm remembering right. CULTURAL APPROPRIATION. Most tramp stamps are butterflies though. Ah, like the master baiter. Neil Peartle the Turtle. I am one of only two people on this entire message board who understands what this show is going for (mostly because I actually watched the first one). If only Supay were here to make you remember that again. He has three dad issues, one for each dad. These faces, man... Especially the Vegeta one. "Is it a waste of everyone's time?" If you're filled with as much irrational hate for the world from an honestly kind of rational source like Ben, then yeah. But I'm better than that, so no. Venture Bros. did the Degrassi reference better. I dunno, your Italian bocce ball teacher's wife suicide/transformation into rice porridge weighed heavier from what I remember. Crotch-ear. I do like the flashing back to the first series, reminds me of technically better times before AT&T fucked [as] streams up the ass until it started bleeding out to death. Eh, I think you were right the first time. "Damn, I used to look like that!?" BECAUSE OF REASONS. Okay, Josie's mother surviving the burglaring is a surprise. THE CROTCH-EAR CAT IS REAL. Anyways, diabeetus. Seems like everybody related to Makasu's high school days was working in some type of car factory. So much information about diabetes for the sake of melodrama...! And here's more clips from the original to make the fans of the original feel better about watching the inferior sequel. Now imagine, if you will, a world where Peter Dinklage was in Tiptoes instead of Gary Oldman. I may have shame in watching this show - especially since there are people hear trying to make me feel bad for even watching it - but I have no shame in enjoying these silly wordplays. :D Tender Touches, a show I haven't seen but a reference I can appreciate regardless. I have this dreaded feeling that Makasu's sudden show of empathy is gonna turn out more than a little shortsighted. Never mind, that was just the pissed-off dust spirits I was feeling. Friend's ain't perfect, but I deal with them just fine. Speaking of, I could use some more adult friends. Remember, do breathplay wisely. This ending turned out better than I expected. So it was the Romans this whole time! So uhhhhhh who's this guy again? And no preview either, that's different. Next week, Emotional Memories (a third time).

SHIPPUDEN - Finally, a filler with some action to it! And Bee, can't forget Bee. :D If only these ninja had soap and hand sanitizer... Not even the White Zetsus were expecting this turn of events. I'm not sure if I remember this guy, he looks too flashy to be a canon immigrant. Only eight? Apologies won't bring him back, but the Reanimation Jutsu might. Okay, I'm starting to remember this guy now, this conversation sounds familiar enough. Lucky for Bee, darkness and loneliness are foreign concepts to him, even today. I mean, if Kinkaku and Ginkaku could have the Nine-Tails' chakra while Naruto still had it, I can't see why Fukai can't have the Eight-Tails' while Bee still has it. And now Orochimaru flashbacks. This room looks like the Venture cloning room. Even the Zetsus know this filler makes no logical sense. Well, that's six less enemies they have to fight, but still one too many. :D Samehada. TWIN LARIAT. Oh wow, we finally got to the episode title now. Tentacle tail, like tentacle hair, or a crotch ear. "Even if I'm still physically here, my heart is dead." I'm sure you're thinking of your soul, dude. EEEEEEEMOOOOOOO. I take it that random cloud chick is Orochimaru in disguise. Prescription medication is the only thing that can fill his heart-hole now. :D That self-unmasking was oddly attractive, even if it was Orochi under there. And there's the intense violence I've been waiting for. Always be collecting samples for later use. Lucky for you, Orochimaru's already dead. (For now...) This music video was really fucking fascinating and all, but I'm curious, why'd they feel the need to verbally convey the whole "epilepsy trigger" disclaimer beforehand? Damn, fast-forwarded a little too far there. Kabuto sounds really manic this episode. "I don't get what you're trying to say exactly, but sure, whatever you say." A hole... a hole in the bottom of the sea? Oh hey, Motoi's acting useful for once! And then he jobbed, as to be expected. Not one of his best rhymes, if you ask me. [insert drought for comments here] I do like how A's always had Bee's back. I miss Samui. Kabuto's lost so many people due to finding peace after death I don't blame him for being this pissed.

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"Pfeh. Main Campus."

"I hate Main Campus."

12:00 - Dragon Ball Super #93 - You're Our Tenth Warrior! Goku Approaches Frieza!! - TV-14L

12:30 - Sword Art Online: Alicization: War of Underworld #15 - Instigation - TV-14LV
1:00 - Fire Force #27 - A New Flashpoint - TV-MAV ๐Ÿ˜ฒ
1:30 - Assassination Classroom #12 - Ball Game Tournament Time - TV-14D

2:00 - Gemusetto: Death Beat(s) #5 - Db6 - TV-MA

2:15 - Gemusetto: Death Beat(s) #6 - D7#9 - TV-MAL

2:30 - Naruto Shippuden #319 - The Soul Living Inside the Puppet - TV-PG
3:00 - Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba #6 - Swordsman Accompanying a Demon - TV-14LV

[slams on the gas]

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On 11/15/2020 at 1:22 PM, PokeNirvash said:

It means that they plan on using Asuna, Sinon, and the sister-cousin's memories of Kirito to fix his double-comatose brain. Not that you particularly care, just thought I'd answer so you weren't left hanging.

That actually makes so much more sense than whatever they were saying in the actual episode, thanks.

Sword Art- What bullshit awaits us this time. You're a little late there, gun girl. Reminder that this is all inside a goddamn video game. Yes, his death was pointless but at least he doesn't have to be in this show anymore. All of this has also done irreparable damage to my soul. Could the nerd not just program a portal to the magic alter here or something? Oh, it's that one angry punchy guy. I feel literally nothing about their suffering, show. Are y'all fucking yet? This is definitely a metaphor for pegging. Haven't these two known each other for like a day at most? At least if they die they don't have to be here anymore. Klein is still the best character. I hope Klein is the true love that wakes him up. Oh what the fuck is this now. I am supposed to know who this guy is? This is stupid. Who the fuck is that girl? THIS IS A VIDEO GAME, YOU WEIRDOS. What in the sweet and sour fuck is any of this? Oh no, her video game character might be lost forever. "Holy crap that's a lot of nerds" is exactly what I say every time I get on this board. THEY TERK ARE JERBS. Holy fuck, one single person in this show knows how a video game works. Oh hey, Black Seitz gets to do something. Oh no, all these fake video game characters who aren't real people are dead. I wonder if sister-cousin is still being tentacle raped for EXP offscreen. Shocking that this plan went awry.

Fire Force- I hate you and your ugly baby onesie. Iti's fine, nobody died and the creepy guy got to feed his weird weird fetish. Hug it out, boys. Hey there, Captain Sexy. I can't give you any help but you have like a whole eight people to save the planet with. Date me. God I am gonna get this man killed one day. :D "Girl you dated a hobo." I already don't like this girl. They look like if Team Skull gave up the Pokemon game. The house, the house, the house is on fire. Oh, I really hate her. "I was born to run an extortion racket on the elderly" is not a good take, bitch. Girl just start taking drugs instead of sprinting into house fires. That's a lot of fires. Maki continues to have absolutely zero competition for best girl. Hiii Vulcan. Just have Gunman start shooting everything. No really, am I supposed to like her? RIP redshirt friend. "We're planning on ending the world, join us!" The hell? Just let them take her. Good job now you've just consolidated yourselves so your enemies have less work. Ouch.

Ass Class- Calm down there, crazy boy. OH, THAT'S A BASEBALL. I appreciate this OP because of Bitch Sensei's jiggling boobs. So I guess that's just the only dance move these kids know. Oh, you're just here for the mockery. Squid is best coach. FLIP THAT TABLE. Baseball squid! I don't know enough about baseball to know what's going on but good job kids. Eat shit, other kids. If you can survive against him, other students are easy. You just broke this poor kid's brain. GUN. Whelp, this was going too well. :D Defeated by the other team's boobs. Well kids the important thing is that you tried. Dude it's middle school gym class calm the hell down. Have Bitch distract him. :D I am exactly at that level of sports knowledge. I like that his strategy is just being a douche. BUNT. That boy is definitely on steroids. Karma, go stab him. He's gonna hit you with that bat. "Just kill some students, it'll be fine." Random squid face for a second there. Good job kids I'm proud of you. Now go stab the principal. The real victory was the friends you made along the way.

Edited by EmpressAngel

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Yeah, anime has a real bad technobabble problem. There's a reason "in English, please" is such a widely used trope.

For reasons concerning the re-refining of my fictional writing skills, and to honor the Streams, I'm posting my show thoughts later than I normally would. As for why they've been truncated into just a few sentences each? Let's just say it's preparation for when I finally leave the NEET lifestyle behind.

SAO ALICIZATION - It was probably the lack of a laptop today that made me really realize this, but the whole "Alice sad over Bercouli dying mostly in vain" and "pugilist boy and stabby girl fall in love" subplots to be more than a little manufactured. Really, I'm more interested in the Korean gamer and his Chinese lady-friend who are skeptical over the whole "Japan players bad" narrative Gabriel's crew is pushing. (Love the random hashtag tho. :D) Surprisingly light on language for something with a TV-14LV rating, but at least the bloodier moments matched.

FIRE FORCE - I'm actually kind of enjoying Inca so far, even if she is a little on the "potential psychopath" side. Charon's also starting to come around, he's pretty fun when he isn't asking Haumea countless questions. As for Haumea herself, she's still hard to really enjoy, what with her "can't keep her tongue in her mouth" quirk, and the radio jockey thing's not helping in the slightest. (Also, I don't remember her ever using electricity last season, but then again, that's like Fire Force to throw out important character tics that fly over the heads of the less observational.) Charon blasting off part of the torso of one of Inca's lackeys made for a good graphic violence indicator, most pleasantly surprising I've seen since the Coralian guts in E7 44.

ASS CLASS - Boy do I hate main campus, but I was able to handle their douchebaggery this episode better than normal, and not just 'cause E-Class won for once. Some of Sugino's buddies acting jealous that he's in E-Class, and the ace pitcher subtly suggesting he might make it to high school despite his class assignment... definitely preferable to those two douchebags wanking themselves off to our protagonists' suffering. Baseball!Koro was fun, but Karma's trash-talking the audience was what really got me. That and Hellabitch somehow not understanding how baseball works.. :D Same with the first vocal demonstration of Kaede's dislike for big boobs, a brief yet appropriate baseline for intensely suggestive dialogue. (Man, she would hate one of my main OCs, also voiced by Monica Rial and the only reason I'm in such disbelief over #KickVic's demonization of her...)

GEMUSETTO - This show makes me cringe as often as it does with those of you bothering to watch it for whatever reason, yet I still enjoy it. Because who's gonna successfully stop me, the Good Taste police? Ha! They don't even exist!

SHIPPUDEN - It's a shame it took until his death forย  me to realize how good a director Kazunori Mizuno was. His work on this episode was surprisingly good, and it helps that it was a Granny Chiyo episode.

[the car no go]

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I mean, yeah, I guess it's an obvious HBO Max plug, but it's still a pipe dream finally being realized, so who cares at this point?

12:00 - Primal #1 - Spear and Fang - TV-14V
12:30 - Primal #2 - River of Snakes - TV-14V
1:00 - Primal #3 - A Cold Death - TV-14V
1:30 - Primal #4 - Terror Under the Blood Moon - TV-14V
2:00 - Primal #5 - Rage of the Ape-Men - TV-MAV
2:30 - Primal #6 - Scent of Prey - TV-14V
3:00 - Primal #7 - Plague of Madness - TV-MAV
3:30 - Primal #8 - Coven of the Damned - TV-14SV
4:00 - Primal #9 - The Night Feeder - TV-MAV
4:30 - Primal #10 - Slave of the Scorpion - TV-14V

[probably genndy]

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