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About Me

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  1. Sometimes I wish I was snarkier on the fly and here's why So I've been in my new job for month learning, working, earning my keep There are 2 older ... er old security guards and they've been pretty nice but they've been kind of creeping me out because every time I turn around there they are. So I'm like no it's cool, they're security .... best not piss them off. Fast forward to today Me just walking up to the door with my purse and work bag. The morning security guard pops out of the door and literally goes: While singing "ain't to proud to beg" Internally I'm just like .... bruuuuuuh what the fuck Externally : good morning, you've got Friday energy *awkward laughter* So I hurry to my office and bury myself in tasks. My manager is still training me so I don't think about it anymore - 2pm- Going to my car for lunch Suddenly I hear ... Hey Hey Hey! WISH I COULD GO WITH YOU Me: So I get to my car but I'm like Fuck... I have to turn around to get in. There's the afternoon creepy security guard : So he's like ... going to lunch? Me :.... yes ...? Where are you going? Me: .... I ... don't really know I'm just gonna drive around until I see something... So I snuck back in the building when I came back and was like .... thank God - Go back to work -4:45pm Time to go .... walking back to my car "HEY!" So he asks me how I like my car. So my dumb ass is apparently trying to sell him a Ford Escape. Me literally going over all the amenities : He gives me this run down about how he's got a rental and was looking at something similar so Im like ... uh cool you want the salesman's card? .... like I'm really telling him locations of dealerships, the price I paid, how hard the finance guy seemed to work And then I'm like .... uh okay ... anything else? It plays CDs and has Bluetooth I have one foot in my car the whole time and my hand on the steering wheel like ... HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND SO I CAN LEAVE THEN .... this old hoe goes Whatcha doing tonight? Me (still oblivious) : going to the zoo with the miniature him: well I was asking to see if I could take you to dinner tonight me: Externally: Aw ... no I'm sorry Him: Well keep me in mind Me : okay (thinking maybe thats good enough for him to leave me alone and never think about it again) Then he proceeds to talk about going downtown and hanging out Me: Uhh .... have a good weekend ...?
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